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    Joined: Feb 2012
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    It took me some poking around on Hoagie's to find it, but here is an example (pdf) letter that is aimed at "non-teacher authorities" - Girl Scout leaders, coaches, etc. It may give you some ideas for addressing her teachers.

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    ABQMom Offline OP
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    Well, I finally wrote it. In case there is anyone who might want ideas, here is what I came up with:


    Hi (teacher)

    I am the mother of (my kid), a 7th grader who will be in your class this year. This email is just to give you a quick overview of his IEP, his strengths and areas of challenge, and a few notes about what we found that worked well last year and what was a disaster - all in hopes of making his time in your class a much more pleasant experience for all.

    Brief description and Learning Style

    (Our kid) is the youngest of our children. He shares many of his siblings' traits of giftedness but also has a rather severe learning disability in the form of dysgraphia, dyslexia, and auditory processing issues that were uncovered in testing late this summer. ADHD was ruled out back when he was tested in 2nd grade and again over the summer. We are following up to get more definitive results regarding the auditory challenges and will share any recommendations we receive as they become available. 

    Math has been his most challenging subject - not because he doesn't get the overall concepts but because rote memory is extremely difficult for him and keeping numbers in a straight line is also difficult. His IEP allows him to use a calculator to do rote calculations, have reduced work load of problems because he is very slow at processing each problem, and to email his assignments. We found that these three accommodations helped the most. If after working with (our kid) for some time you have other ideas or suggestions, I am happy to work with you to find work-arounds and to try new ideas to help him enjoy learning math and be successful in the process.

    (our kid)'s vocabulary is extensive, his ability to think out of the box and to extrapolate on what he is learning in class means that he will often come home and continue discussing and researching about something he has learned in class. It also means that he may "zone out" during class if something sparks his interest.

    Writing is difficult for (our kid), although he manages to get through most of the work presented in class. His IEP allows computer use and for separate projects that require less writing, and when this is possible without being disruptive, it is appreciated. He spends a great deal of his day dealing with his deficits rather than getting to explore his strengths because of the large amount of writing and workbook assignments that are a part of most of his classes. Copying notes from the board will also result in poor translation of what is written, so being provided a copy of class notes is usually best. We do expect him to still take his own "chicken scratch" notes so that he is engaged in the process and paying attention.

    Spelling is random and arbitrary, so you may find the same word spelled two or three different ways within a single paragraph. He excels at using spell check on the computer, however, so you may not notice as many misspelled words on typed assignments. The IEP provides that spelling not be part of the grade when spelling is not what is being tested. 

    And because of the auditory issues, anything that is mentioned in class such as step-by-step instructions or assignments will likely not be heard or remembered. That being said, he has excellent recall for subject matter and tends to learn logically instead of rote. He has difficulty memorizing things like times tables or the periodic table but can visualize a timeline of what things have happened over a period of years. 

    (our kid) is outgoing and likes to talk with his friends. He does best if seated away from distractions and near the teacher. He doesn't always pick up on the nuance of body language or tone and, thus, may not cease to joke around even when your body language may be indicating you are finished bantering with him. If you use specific words indicating what you want from him, he is usually very willing to comply. He will follow rules, is honest even when it gets him trouble, and will argue persistently if a rule is changed arbitrarily or in a way that does not make sense to him. A firm response telling him that it is not up for discussion at the moment will usually result in his accepting the decision despite his misgivings. 

    Things that worked well last year:

    - Keeping a single folder for each class with two compartments - completed and to do. Anything more complex will result in papers not making it to the proper destination. (And even with this method, he lost a multitude of papers last year.)

    - Copying homework assignments from the board at the beginning of class and having the teacher verify at the end of class that everything that is required for him to do is written down. Making sure that big assignments are written down with small goals rather than just an end date also works best.

    - Typing and emailing assignments - where this was possible, He did not have difficulty dealing with zeros from lost or missing assignments.

    - Creative assignments - he loves doing podcasts or stop action Lego movies, performs his own music and enjoys creating comic strips from the shapes available in Power Point. 

    - Predictable routine and structure

    Things that were a disaster last year:

    - Bringing in workbook pages or class work for a grade; although the IEP allows for extra time to do the work, (our kid) will not see completed homework assignments that are right in front of him and completed and will take the zero because he thinks it isn't there

    - Trying to write down assignments dictated in steps by the teacher or to remember them without writing them down. If it is mentioned in the passage of class, you can expect that he will not remember any of it and will be surprised when an assignment is due.

    - Giving vague instructions when specific results are needed. For example, if you ask (our kid) to give you his opinion about an assignment, he will give you an unvarnished opinion - good or bad - because he is literal and will believe this is what you want. If what you really want is for him to summarize an assignment, it is best to let him know that. 

    I've never had to write a "welcome to my kid" letter, so I'm hoping this was enough information to get you started but not so much as to overwhelm. If you see (our kid) struggling with things in class or if there is any issue at all, please feel free to reach out. While I worked hard to be more hands-off with my older two, I am finding that it is not possible yet for (our kid). He needs a stronger support system, so I am here to help in whatever way I can.

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    It looks like maybe you left out part of a sentence here:
    Quote
    - Typing and emailing assignments - where this was possible, He did not have difficulty dealing with zeros from lost or missing assignments.
    I think that this needs to be closer in space to the statement that he can look right at his completed homework and not "see" it, or you're not going to get understanding.

    I also think that "if you ask (our kid) to give you his opinion about an assignment," should be something like "a passage of reading" instead of "an assignment" - something more concrete will be easier to understand, even though it's a history teacher or a math teacher instead of his English teacher. Actually, that whole paragraph reads like, "if you want to give him a bullshit assignment, don't be surprised when he calls it bullshit." I think you need to be a little more diplomatic about it. I would amend to
    Quote
    Giving vague instructions when specific results are needed. For example, if you ask (our kid) to give you his opinion about a reading passage, he simply tell you "it was OK," or "it sucked," because he is literal and will believe this is what you want. If what you really want is for him to support his opinion in a way that shows that he read and understood the passage, it is best to let him know that explicitly.

    Overall, I think this is a very good letter. I hope these suggestions help!

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    I am so glad that you all have found this approach successful. I wish I could say the same--in my experience, many teachers/coaches/adults take any discussion of how DD is different (let alone an acknowledgment by us in writing) as an admission that she should not be in that class/sport/part of the world, rather than as a constructive effort to help things work out for everyone. Indeed, the usual thinking seems to be
    different kid = more trouble for me = bad --> exclude kid if at all possible. I have been very discouraged by this, and the result is that I usually try to head off any problems by finding camps, etc. where the chances of her fitting in are better--as you might imagine, this has often been hit-or-miss. But it has allowed her to participate in some things from which she would otherwise have been excluded entirely. Fortunately not everyone has that response, but I have to say that in our area (Southeast) there don't seem to be many kids who are "e," let alone 2e-ish, and there seem to be a lot of grownups who don't want to be bothered and don't see anything wrong with excluding a kid who is different.

    Sorry, as usual I realize my post is not necessarily helpful--but I'm glad that you have the opportunity to write such letters and to work constructively to help your child, and maybe knowing that this is a really good thing will cheer you up as you write! smile

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    ABQMom Offline OP
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    Dbat - your experience may well be mine this year. This is the first year I've attempted this, so only time will tell if it helped or hurt. All I know is that last year NOT telling the teachers was a colossal failure for everyone involved. All I'm really hoping for is to help a teacher think twice before assuming that my son's behavior stem from a bad attitude, laziness, etc. when the behaviors or performance does not equal what they expect.

    ElizabethN - thanks for the feedback. That note about his literal replies stems directly from a rather emotional incident last year where a teacher not only gave my son a zero on an assignment but went to his other teachers and got his grade dinged for a project because my son thought she wanted to know what he thought about an assignment when that is what she asked. So it isn't telling a teacher my kid won't put up with BS assignments. The entire staff knew about the incident, so I thought it best to put it out there as to why he responded the way he did. That way their opinion may be a bit less swayed by the angry comments the teacher made last year about my kid while she was talking to other teachers in the staff lounge.

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    Originally Posted by ABQMom
    ElizabethN - thanks for the feedback. That note about his literal replies stems directly from a rather emotional incident last year where a teacher not only gave my son a zero on an assignment but went to his other teachers and got his grade dinged for a project because my son thought she wanted to know what he thought about an assignment when that is what she asked. So it isn't telling a teacher my kid won't put up with BS assignments. The entire staff knew about the incident, so I thought it best to put it out there as to why he responded the way he did. That way their opinion may be a bit less swayed by the angry comments the teacher made last year about my kid while she was talking to other teachers in the staff lounge.


    Yes, I remember the incident - I just think that you've gotten so oblique that you've started implying something else entirely. I just think you need a more concrete example. smile

    I hope the letter does the trick, or at least makes things a little better.

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    ABQmom
    I agree with ElizabethN. It's not clear you are referring to anything so the sentence about the zeros doesn't make sense. It's very clear otherwise and throrough - although seems to me some of the suggestions make sense for all students - particularly about assignments.

    Good luck!

    DeHe

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    Thus far, I've received three emails back. Two were "thanks, very helpful, will get in touch once I've observed him in class a couple of weeks if I have more questions" and one "I will talk to him at the end of class and let him know I negotiate with my students, so this will help put the power back in his control to negotiate with me what alternative approaches or assignments we agree on.." it looks like the school counselors really out-did themselves in placing my son this year...


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    Nice!

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    I like it! And with so much of it pertaining to my DD... mind if I borrow bits and pieces? I, too, have never written this type of letter, but I often thought that I should. It is so hard at the beginning of a new year. I feel like I need to give it a month for the teacher to get their berrings before I bombard. It is a tricky dance of advocating successfully without being viewed as a pushy/know-it-all type of mom. I think a letter like this might be a good start. This year, DD has a teacher that is new to her school. She will have a crash-course in DD (I was assured), but she will not have the benefit of hearing about her in the staff room.. maybe that is a good thing? LOL!


    Tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it. — L.M. Montgomery
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