The children of all of my friends are reading at least a couple of grades ahead, and at least a few kids in each class by first grade. Being a couple of years ahead in reading does not appear to be difficult to accommodate. Asking for acommodation of any advancement in math, and anything more than a couple of years in reading is apparently crazy talk.

Sigh.

My advice is that don't assume that because you're reasonable they will also be reasonable. Don't expect logic. And no matter how many rules you make sure you follow ( ie, hint, then let them discover fo themselves, then talk of earning to learn, challenge, etc), they'll still try to get away with the bare minimum of effort.

I'm sorry you've had this experience, but I'm not sure it's fair to say that the teachers are trying to get away with the bare minimum effort. I know that a lot of people have had bad experiences with teachers, but I think that most teachers really do mean well, but have never encountered kids who are so way out there. We felt this frustration with our son's teachers, and we finally had a meeting where we understood that even though our perception was that the teachers weren't doing enough, they really were doing an awful lot extra for our kiddo. If you haven't worked with a kid who is way, way ahead, it's not unreasonable to think that it should be enough if you give a kid such and such amount more, which you've never done before and seems like a crazy amount. (Of course, there is some point that you hope the teacher sees that it's not enough, but I will defend those teachers who are trying but have never encountered this type of kid.) I felt horrible when I learned all the extra that one particular teacher had done for my child, and he told us he was offended at us for thinking that he hadn't done much of anything.

So my advice is to tread lightly, and try to open up the channels of communication. It takes some time for people to get on the same page of understanding what your kiddo really needs. Testing/pre-testing helps a lot though.

This: yes.

And I will go further to say this. Learning is not always linear. That is, because your child has learned thing Q, it is somewhat fallacious to think they must necessarily next learn R S T. Reading levels: I suppose they have their place, but I have never needed them for anything. Do not assume that no learning is taking place just because you are not seeing visible changes of "level" in reading and math until you've really checked it out.

It is possible that lots of subtle, interesting things are happening, and once you know the teacher and they know your child (give them some weeks) they will be able to tell you what the needs are from that teacher's perspective. Which may not be the same as yours. There may be surprises and conversation.

A certain amount of humility is needed here, because if you are sending your child to school, you are not the sole arbiter-- you get to collaborate, which should be a privilege. Why go into it assuming disaster? A really smart kid can sometimes get through school without a grade skip or even a major disaster. (I am exhibit A, with all due blushing modesty.)

Trying to stoke up for another year of pleasant educational advocacy myself. Respectful attitude and positive, cheery mindset are jobs 1 and 2, respectively.

DeeDee

We went with the let her discover him, gentle nice advocacy. It was SO hard but in the long run totally worth it. At the first meeting, my DH was like why were you so quiet. DS's school is a gifted school and filled with THOSE parents, who drive teachers nuts. Since I knew we were going to have to advocate eventually I didn't want to waste goodwill early. DS was tested for reading levels and if you go by the ones on his progress reports he went from I think an N to an S - both probably underestimate him. drove me nuts at first but I didnt say anything - although did ask for more help getting library books actually at his level. So he didn't really get to read books that pushed him in school - instead he got books at his emotional level and on the level that the other advanced readers in the class were. I think that was good for him, for the most part. I do wish there had been more for him in the last third of the year because I do think he was a bit bored but not much. However, what we found K really good for is filling in all the stuff DS would not bother to learn about - and they are working with him on writing.He has an IEP and we are basically repeating his K HWT workbook and journalling over the summer and I can't wait to turn this back over to the school - much rather have the professionals deal with this!!! The approach to math they took really intrigued DS - could he move faster - yes - so we got him murderous maths and books and stuff - he is loving it but again school will fill in all the things he skips or glosses over in his desire to get to the stuff that interests him.

The real trouble for us is in his area of interest/expertise - science - they will never provide what he needs and I am not sure what to even advocate for. Hopefully this is something DYS can help us with.

But our nutshell - started K with teacher thinking he couldn't pay attention, didn't sit in his seat, couldn't write - she saw his negatives none of the positives and slowly he either unfurled or she unfurled him, not sure who took the first step but by the end of the year - she wrote his letter of recommendaton for DYS.

But if you ask DS 6 what he thinks about school - he loves it - but he learns at home.

DeHe

This is a tangent.

I still have not solved this adequately for DS10. There are perfectly nice online science courses, but if you want the kid to get lab skills, they are inadequate. Which means you'd be letting him work ahead to no purpose. This is one reason why I am skeptical of leaping ahead in early elementary UNLESS you have a very good plan for what you are going to do next-- because here I have this kid, and no solid place to put him for a variety of reasons.

We are encouraging breadth for now, and can't wait until he ages into the local summer chem with lab course. Been years coming.

DeeDee

Hi DeeDee

Continuing the hijack! A few years back there was a thread about an IEP for science - is that not an option for your DS up to HS?

IEP science thread

My problem is its once a week with the same teacher for years! And DS6 is understanding stuff I didn't get until high school. So what is the benefit of accelerating him. I actually am wondering about early college for just science, taking him for a class or 2, but I can't do that for years - right now too squirmy, can't take notes etc. but we need to keep moving him along if that's a potential goal. Plus he gets nuts if he doesn't get more info - he is willing for now to do depth and also to pick up subjects and drop others, then go back, which sort of strings thing along. I am hoping we can get him into the year round program at our museum but its entry point is not until 5th grade, I am wondering is there's any hope for advocacy there. I doubt it though.

DeHe

St Pauli, unfortunately in our situation it really was a case of laziness/burnout. I honestly went into it with respect for and trust of the teachers, and excused their behavior as a lack of understanding just how far ahead they needed to be, due to me not being pushy. I was heartbroken when I discovered the classroom teacher knew exactly how far beyond the norm my child was, and never did anything to help.

I have given up advocating for my kids. Our full-time gifted program starts in 4th grade. My rising second grader knows even his math facts for multiplication, can add/ subtract 3 digit numbers, etc. yet I know in the fall, he will learn simple subtraction with his class! And there will be 31 kids in the class, so no differentiation there. Sigh.... Only 2 more years until he is in our g/t program.

DeHe, on the science hijack--



They really don't do that here. Gifted is nominally a part of special ed services here, but the "individualized" part is very hard to get. Science is considered to be integrated into the elementary curriculum, so grade acceleration in science is discouraged (to put it mildly; it's viewed as impossible).



Mine is like that too. In some ways he really would like to just fly and do some serious high school science now. In other ways, maturity, organization, etc., he is the age he is, and no h.s. student will be thrilled to be a lab partner with a kid who's barely 10.



For better or for worse, I think DS is getting accustomed to the fact that he dips into serious science textbooks at night in bed, but can't talk about them with other people too much. He is probably getting a terribly spotty education this way, but we are kind of resigned, and he is no longer pushing relentlessly. He has accepted that most peers don't care about this stuff, and he mostly talks about video games with them. I think he is figuring out a mode of making it work and biding time, and I think that feels like a workable childhood to him.

I don't see any reason why we HAVE to give him everything he wants in science right away, any more than we have to give him everything else he wants right away. It does feel funny, though, when a kid is pining for knowledge, to hold back.

DeeDee

I'm with you! My dd5 is starting K in a few weeks and I am trying to stay calm - then every once in a while I get a bit freaked out. Yesterday, I was talking to a mom who was telling me that in our district they do not do any ability grouping for math until 5th grade. "How does that work exactly?" I asked... just that - everyone does the same thing for math K-4 at which point they are placed into a "high" or "low" group. I don't know - I just don't see how that is possible. I get the whole "ability grouping can destroy the self-esteem of some students" - I really do... but at the same time - wow. That could really get rough for my kid. When I visited the school last spring they had a shelf of books that ranged from bob books to harry potter and the teacher proudly explained that they have a program where students can select their own books according to their interest and ability level - so I was relieved about that... how strange that they would be so progressive about reading but not math?