Best system I have ever seen: the teacher has the children fill out thank-you tickets (just write their name on the ticket) when they do something good, or helpful, or something that she knows is hard for them. The filled-out tickets go into a big jar, and are pulled regularly for special privileges or fun duties (going first at something, for instance.) The first week of school she gives out the tickets very frequently; soon the kids are all vying to do the right thing and be noticed doing it.

This system is entirely positive, the children adore the teacher for the positivity, and everyone does their best. It reinforces the particular behaviors that each child is working to master. It works especially well for the impulsive kids who are used to negative reinforcement and resigned to being chewed out all the time. Brilliant.

DeeDee

Sounds like you are describing DD's first grade teacher. Is it any wonder that DD was successful in this classroom or that this teacher is universally respected and admired? Am I really so crazy for telling the team that they should use this amazing asset as a tool to train other teachers on a better system? Really???

Very good point! I once had a student like this in a class (2nd grader) and he just could not help the fact that he had severe ADHD and impulsivity issues. The saddest part is he has already labeled himself a bad kid and stupid, when in actuality it couldn't be further from the truth.

I just wanted to hop on here and thank the the OP and all that have replied and advised on this thread. My son has anxiety and is similar to your DD where those sticker chart type behavioral controls cause him great anxiety to the point where he completely detoriates and has OCD symptoms. I thought I was the only one with a kid like this!!! For example, his first year in public school (kindy) last year he had a paraprofessional (the kids broke into three groups each day to do reading and fine motor tasks with a paraprofessional leading each group) who triggered his anxiety so acutely he became completely unable to swallow his salivia. He has this fear of something "disgusting, bad or dangerous" going into his body. he usually keeps this fear under control but when he had to work with this parapriofessional (who shamed him, was completely inflexible, etc) he became so anxious he really had trouble swallowing. Then, in order to force him to work with the said assistant the school psych instituted some sort of sticker reward chart and he deteriorated completely! He couldn't swallow at all - his throat was sore from being unable to swallow and his lips were all chapped form him pushing the salvia out of his mouth on to his lips and then wiping the salivia away with his sleeve. His tops were soaked from his salvia! it was truly shocking He had to carry a couple of handkerchiefs to wipe away his salavia. it was awful. I eventually flipped out a bit on them and insisted they move him to a different group run by a different assistant and he recovered and had a great 2nd half of the year. Since then we got an anxiety diagnosis. we are planning to institue an IEP for next year (I just cannot have him go through that and deteriorate like that again). But all of this is very helpful background info for the upcoming IEP meeting. I *pretty* sure our district will work well with us - they are supposedly a very good district for special needs, accomodations, etc... but we'll see. And this is my first experience with any type of IEP so... Anyway, the info here is great. And it is comforting to knwo that other kids have this problem! I plan now to record our IEP meeting(s) as well. I am nervous b/c the psych running the show for meeting (I think) is the same psych who crafted and instituted the 'sticker reward chart' that really just destroyed my DS. I am hoping I don't have too much trouble with her! I have to admit, I have a bit of a bias aganst her and am wary of her and I really didn't like how she handled the situation with my son last year. But that was before they knew he had an anxiety disorder and before a diagnosis.

Understand you want the best for you daughter and did not want to hurt your feelings, just wanted to question if the teacher wanted to move up with your daughter or if you were trying to have her moved- it was not clear. If she wants to move, they should let her of course, but if not, she should not be pushed to.

With regards to the color chart, yes, there are other methods, but the teacher will need some sort of classroom management system in place. No one system works for every child and anything new would be trial and error. No one wants your daughter to have a bad year, but the teacher will also have to do what works best for the majority of the kids.

Apologize if my previous post was harsh- rereading it, yes, it sounds that way. I just am hoping that in asking the school to be flexible, you too will be- and understand that all the children need to be served and while hopefully you will get a lot of what you want, it is not realistic to expect everything.

Suggesting a para was not meant to be an insult, but rather a possible solution. Paras can do wonders for a child by working one to one with them, taking them for walks in the hallway to calm down etc.

So far today I spoke to new DSS to hear what principal is proposing, met with a special ed attorney and spoke to asst superintendent filling in for the real one who is on medical leave. Frankly I have to wonder if I am totally losing my mind. This really, truly cannot be happening...

So the principal is reassigning a 6th grade teacher to 2nd grade and wants to place DD in her classroom rather than with one of the returning 2nd grade teachers. So yes, she is in fact reassigning a teacher for DD - just refusing for it to be the one who has already proven to have a classroom style that works for DD and who has already gotten to know how to read DD's signs of anxiety. (And Amob whether or not the first grade teacher has asked to be reassigned is basically a moot point. She made clear that she is not expecting to return to 1st grade next year and had no idea as of the beginning of June "what they are going to do with me.") Principal told the new DSS that this teacher will be using a "responsive classroom" along with a color chart. I pushed and said that my understanding of the responsive classroom is that you utilize positive reinforcement and logical consequences. A color chart does not belong in the mix. In fact I read one article on a Responsive Classroom website that is entitled "Beware the Color Chart." At this point her wording changed to "a responsive type classroom".

She said her color chart would be a bee hive shape and would use a system called "Positive Bee-havior" where kids would get moved to the yellow and then red hives. So, it's a color chart. A cute shape, a cute name but still the same public shaming device we have been arguing about. She would also use the "rest stop" part of responsive classroom by sending the children to a chair as punishment. I asked if this would be a specific punishment chair or back to their own seat and she did not know. If it is actually a punishment seat this is even worse than the system at AIM that triggered the whole situation.

Since the principal is insisting on the color chart new DSS is back to pushing for systematic desensitization over the summer. What? Didn't we agree last week that it wasn't reasonable to try to put this together over the summer and we needed to do it in conjunction with a proper classroom placement - not instead of it?

She was supposedly going to contact the superintendent to have her deal with us directly since I told her that when I and our consultant tried we never got anywhere. Instead I just got a call - and the third degree - from asst superintendent. My story doesn't change, my request doesn't change. I am just trying to prevent a full blown school anxiety issue. Period. I am not asking for anything different than what we asked for last year and my reasons haven't changed. I am all for desensitizing her but in conjunction with an appropriate placement - not instead of one. Really - it's just that simple. If you wanted to be able to put her in a classroom without making this accommodation you should have prepared her for it. You had an entire year with the SW working with her weekly. You didn't even try it. You didn't even TRY. You also timed this to blindside us so we couldn't even TRY to work with the new teacher to come up with a mutually agreeable plan. Don't you get it???? AARRRGGG!!!!


Attorney sees this EXACTLY as I see it and says it is just plain silly. Why on earth would the principal be doing this over something as ridiculous as a color chart? Her ego and her anger at us for going over her head. She didn't say but I assume also embarrassment over the letter about her violating the IEP. Attorney said "everything with special ed comes down to either money or ego. In this case it is ego." She cannot understand why the district is allowing this principal to behave this way. She suggests going to the superintendent and asking directly "Can you really justify to the school board that you are paying $3k-$4k in legal fees rather than make a change that costs NOTHING?"

Please tell me if I am still the sane, rational person I have tried to be. This really just makes no sense...

You aren't asking for anything except a chance for your child to attend school without trauma. You haven't even asked for an education. All you are asking for is a safe place for her to be.

You might back down by saying that you don't care how they do it, but your DD needs to feel safe and that you KNOW that color charts are not safe. You have experts to back you up. I'd avoid using words like "public shaming" and instead focus on positive behavioral management. Your dd thrives with positive behavior management where kids are made to feel responsible for their own success.

Since they are harping on needing a management system....We use PBIS (positive behavior intervention system?) in our schools in which only positive behavior is rewarded. The system of tickets that DeeDee references is a part of that. They get tickets and trade in for prizes. When a child is misbehaving, the entire class is advised that they need to focus on whatever component (respectful speech or whatever). Second time, some children are praised for following that component. Third time, the child in question is asked to follow the rule, and 4th time, the child is spoken to directly/removed from the activity temporarily. It actually eliminates most negative behavior and keeps the classes calm. It also has a strong antibullying component to it, and there is extensive training on the system for the schools so the teachers really know what they are doing. So, there is something out there that is well researched and proven (though it is far from perfect!) Because it is good for teachers who are working in groups and takes minimal attention to "warn" the class, it is advertised as good for core curriculum. And when I've seen it in action, negative behavior is rare (in elem). The kid has usually moved on before the direct speaking to occurs. And if it gets to that level, it's usually a phone call to the behavior team who takes over so teacher can get right back to work. There are NO color charts in our classrooms at all. Just motivational posters (lol)

What evidence do they have that systematic desensitization works with your child's particular anxiety? Is it a simple phobia? How do they know? It sounds to me like blowing smoke and throwing around terms without any concern for your dd as an individual.

Yes, you are quite rational. You have been beyond patient with them.

Thanks MON. Your school's system sounds wonderful - exactly what DD would need. I have come to realize that most of this really comes back to the Principal's attitude. She is a former librarian and wants total silence and strict discipline. She uses terms without really understanding them and no one has really held her accountable for misrepresenting her programs. If she tells central office she is using a program called "positive" something they accept it at face value. If a parent complains they respond that the school is using a "positive" program. No one has ever really challenged her so fully before. So she is angry, her ego is bruised and she is looking for ways to retaliate. I have no choice though - if I don't push back the effect for DD will be disastrous. No - not just being dramatic. Her initial school experience at AIM was that bad...

So yesterday ended with a call from asst superintendent saying that the district is calling a meeting - where THEY will pay MY consultant - to meet with princpal and new DSS to see if they can come up with a plan for next year. As someone I told put it - they can't control their own principal so they are bringing in MY consultant to do it for them.

Yes, focus on a positive behavior system. If only they could understand this I think we would not have any of these issues. I mean really I can't even imagine how many hours have been spent by how many people on this already. And it really is that simple - paying attention to positive behaviors is a really good system. Why has this had to become such a battle?

Pemberley, I hope the district meeting goes well. You are doing a great job advocating for your DD-- hang in there!

DeeDee

Just off the phone with our consultant after his meeting with principal, new DSS and asst superintendent (appearing by phone). Apparently principal was "marginalized" and the higher ups are handling it. He tried to talk mostly to asst super since new DSS now seems to be siding with principal. She proposed starting the year off without a color chart and introducing one after 2 weeks. That was flatly refused - consultant told them that we will not agree to a color chart in the classroom. Period. He requested a year without it while the district provides appropriate supports so we can try to resolve some of these issues before the next year. Funny, I said the same thing, over and over again, and got rebuffed.

They are now demanding a psychiatric evaluation. They had offered to pay for one when things were at the worst but I was warned off by a neuropsych I checked with being told that few psychiatrists actually do clinical work and most would be brought in just to adjust medication. I was told bad things about the psychiatrist the district contracts with. (ALL online reviews of him gave only 1 out of 5 stars. I have never seen another practitioner with such consistently bad reviews.) Once I finally got the name of one that sounded ok my phone conversation with him consisted of him saying what medications he would start DD on - WITHOUT EVEN MEETING HER. We said no way.

I recently found a DPsy who I am comfortable with but she has not yet been approved by my insurance. No idea how long it will take for her approval to be processed. Consultant has a psychiatrist he is comfortable with who has declined to medicate in the past. District is now claiming that they "requested" this eval and we failed to cooperate. Funny, as I recall you offered by saying "no pressure - it's there if you want to do it."

So their position is that IF they agree to remove the color chart and provide support services they are sure that we will come back with additional requests later. Really? I have been telling the same story, making the same request and giving the same reason for a year now. I registered on this site last summer asking the same question. I have been interrogated by person after person from the district and have never changed my story. I submitted written requests almost 2 months ago. And they have the nerve to say that WE might change our story?

You all have been through this with me - the unilaterally not allowing her to wear a hat after agreeing at an IEP meeting, the nurse refusing to follow medication orders from our pediatrician, their violation of the IEP (including written acknowledgement from the district) and the blindside from the principal on the next to last day of school. It has been CRAZY - especially after starting out so well.

So the district has involved their attorney to review our request. I am supposed to decide about this psych eval. Any input from the parent/experts here? Right now DD is happy as a clam - loving every minute of the enrichment programs that she is doing over the summer. I told the consultant that I don't think an eval now would be appropriate - she would need to be evaluated once the school year is underway and she is being triggered (or not as the case may be.) Principal (consultant said "I am NOT impressed - I would never hire her...") thinks it should be done by September. We have a neuropsych scheduled for October already. Consultant proposed it be done by January.

At this point I just want DD in a classroom that will not freak her out but I don't want to agree or disagree to something just to make that happen. We have already decided that we will NOT cajole, insist or bribe her to be in school. If they trigger school avoidance then we will expect them to deal with it - not us. (I liken it to parents who spend a fortune providing outside tutoring only to have their child turned down for services because he is able to pass everything by the skin of his teeth. I would remove the tutoring so the school can accurately assess his performance. In this case it is our interventions that would be removed. If that makes sense...)

As always any and all input is welcome. All of this is because of the principal's ego - nothing more. The thing that gets me is that thousands upon thousands of classrooms are managed everyday with positive behavior systems - color charts and punitive actions are not essential to an elementary classroom, This principal is just wholly unqualified for the position and doesn't recognize that she is insisting on something that doesn't HAVE to be there. Jeesh... I really just can't believe it...