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    #13083 - 04/05/08 05:54 AM Our Emergency Decision
    Mommy2myEm Offline

    Registered: 09/12/07
    Posts: 304
    I've been a little MIA from the boards this week as we've had some decisions to make. As I told on another thread, DD was hit and pushed at school. This follows a year of nasty notes hidden in her book bag and generally a negative atmosphere among her classmates. DD9 is youngest in her class by almost a year and she has quite a few kids turning (or turned) 11 soon. The age difference and the fact that there are maybe 1-2 other gifted identified in her class makes it a lonely existence for her.

    I've been in touch with her teacher and the administration and it seems that at first they did nothing about this physical altercation. Then after a few more e-mails and phone calls, they are putting the blame on ME for not being more clear about the force used on her (like there should be a difference btw. small and big hits???) and this caused the school not to follow their OWN policies. I finally told the principal that if they can't keep DD safe, I will homeschool rest of the year. Only then did they start communicating, as they would like her achievement scores to be counted, I'm sure (we test in a couple of weeks).

    So after discussions with DD, DH and I, we are removing DD from this school after next week. I will drive her to school next week and she will spend recess with the librarian (not a punishment for her, more like a reward, LOL). I spoke with one private school in the area and they would love to have her for the rest of the year (and next year, if we choose). The gifted specialist wanted copies of all her scores (Explore scores and achievement from last year) and she was willing to work with us. Over the phone she already said with DDs scores, she should be accelerated and even grade skipped, but she would work with her more closely to look at her strengths/weaknesses.

    I'm still leaning towards homeschooling next year, but I am glad we will get a short trial run with this new school. This school is expensive though and we would need to move to afford it for several years to come. So there is so much to consider. DD is so excited for this change, but also nervous for any changes (even positive).

    Sorry to make this so long, but there has been so much going on. DDs safety is #1, but hopefully we found a GT friendly place at the same time.


    #13085 - 04/05/08 06:15 AM Re: Our Emergency Decision [Re: Mommy2myEm]
    Lorel Offline

    Registered: 08/22/07
    Posts: 970
    Loc: New England

    I'm angry with the school's response, but happy that your dd will be in a better school environment soon. Your head must be spinning with all of this!

    Good luck to dd in the new school, and I hope that the transition will be easy for both of you.

    #13087 - 04/05/08 06:21 AM Re: Our Emergency Decision [Re: Mommy2myEm]
    Ann Offline

    Registered: 02/15/08
    Posts: 179
    Loc: painting the dining room
    Oh, Jen! {{{hugs}}} I'm not sure where to begin. I'm sorry for what you've been going through. This has to have been (and continue to be) a difficult process for all of you. As Em's mother I know you want to protect her physical and emotional health. {{{more hugs}}}

    I can't believe the school would think of blaming YOU! mad

    It sounds like you're on the right track to make a bad situation much better. It's nice that the gifted specialist wants to identify Em's needs. If you decide to homeschool you've got plenty of parents here who will gladly help.

    If there's anything I can do please let me know!

    Here's to a peaceful weekend.


    #13088 - 04/05/08 06:24 AM Re: Our Emergency Decision [Re: Dottie]
    kcab Offline

    Registered: 10/02/07
    Posts: 1603
    Loc: Sparta, apparently
    I'm glad you're getting her out of there, Jen. A threatening environment can be very damaging even if the child is never actually touched.

    #13089 - 04/05/08 07:15 AM Re: Our Emergency Decision [Re: Mommy2myEm]
    kimck Offline

    Registered: 09/20/07
    Posts: 1134
    Wow - I am stunned that the school has put you in this position. But since you were looking at a change anyway, sometimes sooner is better than later. It's nice that you can try the private school option and see if it would be worth the move and the money. And this gives you more time to research into homeschooling, if you are going to go that route.

    Anyway - I hope the transitions go smoothly after all that mess! Keep us posted!

    #13090 - 04/05/08 07:17 AM Re: Our Emergency Decision [Re: kcab]
    incogneato Offline

    Registered: 10/25/07
    Posts: 2231
    Loc: up in my head.......
    It sounds like you are absolutely making the right decision here. Good luck with the new school. Let us know how it goes. I'm looking forward to hearing how well your DD likes it.


    #13096 - 04/05/08 11:03 AM Re: Our Emergency Decision [Re: incogneato]
    alee31 Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 11/02/07
    Posts: 37
    Loc: Texas
    I applaud you for taking action!! I cannot BELIEVE the school is trying to blame you!! Absolutely pathetic.

    I'm glad your DD is excited about the changes, even though change can be a little scary sometimes.

    As a 12 year old, I was "bullied" by a girl in my grade level who was a year or two older than me. She never hit me, but towered over me, made threats, and generally just scared the heck out of me. It cast a really dark shadow over several years in junior high school, which are so difficult, anyway for some kids. My parents did not really have options to move me, so I just silently suffered. I have absolutely no idea what provoked her actions. I was a nice kid who pretty much got along with everyone, and floated between different socioeconomic groups, cliques, etc. I wonder how my life would have been different had I been given an opportunity to leave that setting.

    Hopefully the new school will be a good fit for now. However, I think it's important to listen to your intuition if it's possibly guiding you to homeschool. I believe there is absolutely nothing wrong with choosing to homeschool in order to protect your child from such bullying situations. Having made the decision to HS ourselves, however, we are certainly a little biased towards it now. I do not fit the description of the typical conservative HSer in our community. I am thankful for the opportunity to have lived in a large, progressive city which allowed me to see a new perspective of HSing and how it has really changed over the last few decades. After reading anything I could get my hands on regarding WHY people choose to homeschool, it seemed to all come together for us and it was ultimately a very easy decision.

    Not trying to sound pushy in the least. smile Just wanted to offer some encouragement to you whatever you decide is best for your child.

    Keep us posted. smile

    #13097 - 04/05/08 11:03 AM Re: Our Emergency Decision [Re: incogneato]
    LMom Offline

    Registered: 12/14/07
    Posts: 902
    I'm sorry it came to this. I cannot believe the school did nothing regarding the bullying. Perhaps removing her from the school will be for the best in the long run.

    Good luck

    #13099 - 04/05/08 11:49 AM Re: Our Emergency Decision [Re: LMom]
    Mommy2myEm Offline

    Registered: 09/12/07
    Posts: 304
    Thank you for all the kind words. I agree that DDs safety is #1 and while I don't think that she is in any physical harm at this time, I fear the emotional harm of all of this. I was never bullied in school, but I am very sensitive just as DD is. I remember how the smallest comments bothered me as a child and I can't imagine how these comments bother DD.

    Alee31: I am sorry to hear about the bullying you experienced. Thank you for the encouragement to homeschool. Right now it would be so overwhelming to homeschool,and this school is a better option. I am open to it however for next school year when we can decompress a little over the summer and figure out our options.

    Thanks again everyone and I hope I have some good news to report soon.


    #13103 - 04/05/08 01:01 PM Re: Our Emergency Decision [Re: Mommy2myEm]
    Kriston Offline

    Registered: 09/19/07
    Posts: 6145
    Loc: Midwest
    I'm sorry that this is happening, both to your DD and to you.

    As for their blaming you for the problem: it's despicable, but it's also understandable. If it's not your fault, it's theirs. And that might be a lawsuit in the making. They have to blame you. It's "CYA" behavior at its worst.

    Don't let it fluster you. It's their mistake. I'm glad you're getting it sorted out.

    Hang in there!

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