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    #130312 - 05/23/12 07:47 PM Re: Gifted adults [Re: Schaps]
    islandofapples Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/20/11
    Posts: 332
    I mainly feel sad that my schooling basically made me into an underachiever.

    I just met a bunch of gifted moms, so I am excited about that. They talk about interesting things and very quickly grasp whatever I talk about. Apparently they are drawn to natural living and attachment parenting, so I found them through those parenting groups.

    That said, I finally feel like I am stretching my wings a bit and exploring what I'm capable of in the business I started. It is deeply satisfying!

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    #130315 - 05/23/12 08:57 PM Re: Gifted adults [Re: Schaps]
    Beckee Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/19/11
    Posts: 332
    Loc: Hawaii
    I'm a gifted adult who teaches in a public middle school, having had a few careers in government, research, and publishing before getting my elementary certification. I have a network of gifted friends all over the world, but not too many where I actually live.

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    #130318 - 05/23/12 10:12 PM Re: Gifted adults [Re: Schaps]
    DebM Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 07/27/11
    Posts: 17
    Hi All

    In reading through the existing posts regarding the daily challenges of gifted adults, some similarities are popping up. There will probably more similarities in future posts.

    Some daily challenges mentioned and by more than one member here are:
    1. being impatient with conversations, or a lack of
    2. having a tendency to interrupt others
    3. lacking or feeling a lack of discipline and/or persistance, and
    4. feeling frustrated by an apparent lack of intelligence in others

    I experience all of the challenges above myself. And so far this is how I've learned how to get around them:

    1. During 'bad conversations' I remember to take deep belly breaths to help keep my body and mind relaxed. This deep breathing also helps me feel more patient with others, and helps keep my body protected from going limp from being drained by another.

    2. When I interrupt another person, I catch myself & immediately apologize by saying something like "I'm sorry for interrupting. I'm excited about..." (or "I'm very interested", or "I completely understand") what you said and couldn't contain myself. Please forgive me. I may do this again but just know I'm listening." When I say something like this, I've noticed that people immediately perk up, smile and say "That's okay." This way I either made or kept a friend, or at least this will be someone that won't go to the other side of the street when they see me coming. They feel like I sincerely acknowledge them as another person, and that I respect them enough to give a good apologize. (A Special Note: There is an art to and a deep and abiding importance in giving a Good Apology. This single act, of immediately giving and receiving a Good Apology by everyone, can help save the world.)

    3. I've learned that a lack of discipline and persistence can be a good thing to have. This 'lack' can actually prevent me from continuing on with doing something that may eventually not be good for me at all. It's like how too much of anything can feel too compulsive and mindless to do -- like how too much exercise or counting of calories takes the joy out of life. Going with the flow, being open to new ideas and interests, and changes, including changing the mind, often feels like a wisest way to go. I mean, how many college degrees, perfect conversations, weight to lose and gain, or weeds and lawns to dig up and mow, do we need to be truly happy and loved people? And sometimes just letting go and moving on is the best preparation for a peaceful & wise dying and death.

    4. When I am feeling frustrated by the apparent stupidity of others (including my own) I eventually end of chosing to feel compassion and humor - because it feels better to feel these emotions than feeling continually repulsed, [SPAM] off and arrogant. And a terrifically good laugh-at-it- all makes the heart happier and lighter. That and a hot bath. I also like myself better when I just throw my hands up in the air and say with gusto "Mama Mia! I (they, we, you) got stuck on stupid again! Jeeezz!!" smile



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    #130364 - 05/24/12 10:44 AM Re: Gifted adults [Re: Schaps]
    DebM Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 07/27/11
    Posts: 17
    Hi All,

    Another challenge I have is creating and maintaining a peaceful enough mind to help me relax my body more. My mind is frequently inventing something new to think about and do. I don't have any sort of thing going on like clinical ADHD. I can concentrate on one thing long enough - amd especially when love and compassion inspire me.

    There are some cool stuff I can do with my very active and creative mind. I can read several different books at once and comprehend them all, and then next Voila! I can come up with a whole new concept or way of doing something even better. I can also imagine what its like to be someplace or to be talking to a particular someone and that place and that person physically materializes in the near future.

    I could be an excellent medical diagnotician or detective, except for dealing continually with sickness and crime. Yuck. That stuff is way too sad for me to be involved with on a daily basis. I just stick to watching tv shows like maybe Bones and The Killing for mental exercise and for some emotional distance. I'd get stuck in muck being too up close and personal to that stuff.

    ~~~~~

    Meditation works great for calming the mind. Once as an older adult, I actually did discipline myself enough to meditate every morning at around 7am. After six month of doing this, something mysterious happened. I still don't know what happened but that's okay. My 'aura' or the color around my body turned lavender. My ND, my husband, my best friends, my neighbors, could see this color too. I was transformed into a calmer or maybe what can be called an enlightened being. I stopped "needing" to meditate like I had been doing up to that point. I was exceptionally feeling even more lonelier as a result too. I had experienced something extraordinary and no one around me could relate.

    Today, I can just think about mediating and that's enough to calm my mind down and help get me back on track of what is really important - like love & compassion. This mystery of turning the color of lavender isn't mentioned in any books or by anyone that I've run across yet, and I've been calmly looking for an anwer for a few years now. But I'm okay with not knowing why -- on the Other Side all mysteries will be revealed.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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    #130368 - 05/24/12 11:00 AM Re: Gifted adults [Re: Schaps]
    Ellipses Offline
    Member

    Registered: 02/22/09
    Posts: 402
    Loc: Colorado
    My mind just won't stop. I am a failure at meditation.

    I loves Bones - and House and other types of "Whodoneits". Nice to meet someone else who loves them.


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    #130373 - 05/24/12 11:29 AM Re: Gifted adults [Re: DebM]
    Val Offline
    Member

    Registered: 09/01/07
    Posts: 3290
    Loc: California
    Originally Posted By: DebM
    When I am feeling frustrated by the apparent stupidity of others (including my own) I eventually end of chosing to feel compassion and humor - because it feels better to feel these emotions than feeling continually repulsed, [SPAM] off and arrogant.


    I think I could have written my message more clearly. I was really referring frustration that I get from results rather than anyone in particular. Please forgive me if I came across as being arrogant.

    Debates about how to fix our schools are a good example of what I mean. There's a societal assumption that the problems are simplistic, and all we need to do is throw more money at the problem or shrink class sizes or send everyone to college.

    The problems with our public schools are complex. It's rare outside of this board and a few other places to even hear this statement --- much less have a meaningful discussion about the importance of appropriate pacing and content for all students, meaningful reform of union practices that reward seniority and nothing else, the unbalanced focus on low average and below average achievers at the expense of everyone else, unrealistic expectations about college, etc. Even bringing up ideas that aren't part of the conventional wisdom can start arguments or otherwise derail a discussion.

    So as a person who tries to analyze a problem in depth, I get very frustrated when the discussion continues to revolve around the same simplistic ideas year after year and even after decades.

    Just my two cents.

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    #130374 - 05/24/12 11:30 AM Re: Gifted adults [Re: DebM]
    Terrilth Offline
    Member

    Registered: 06/23/11
    Posts: 61
    Originally Posted By: DebM


    3. I've learned that a lack of discipline and persistence can be a good thing to have. This 'lack' can actually prevent me from continuing on with doing something that may eventually not be good for me at all. It's like how too much of anything can feel too compulsive and mindless to do -- like how too much exercise or counting of calories takes the joy out of life. Going with the flow, being open to new ideas and interests, and changes, including changing the mind, often feels like a wisest way to go. I mean, how many college degrees, perfect conversations, weight to lose and gain, or weeds and lawns to dig up and mow, do we need to be truly happy and loved people? And sometimes just letting go and moving on is the best preparation for a peaceful & wise dying and death.




    Wow DebM, this is all great stuff and I can relate to every single bit.

    Right now one of my life lessons is this. Learning that I do not have to follow through with every single "great idea" I have. I used to feel guilty for having so many "great ideas" and not following through on many (most?) of them, as if it were a character flaw. I have since realized that it's not a character flaw, nor is it a lack of discipline or persistence on my part, it's just a part of life. I can't possibly follow through with everything, nor would it be good for me (or those around me!)

    Interesting thread!
    _________________________
    ~~Terri

    www.homeschoolinflorida.com

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    #130378 - 05/24/12 11:59 AM Re: Gifted adults [Re: Val]
    Ellipses Offline
    Member

    Registered: 02/22/09
    Posts: 402
    Loc: Colorado
    Val,

    I agree totally that it is difficult to have a good discussion about schools. Our school has successfully closed the gap by bringing most of the higher students down to a lower level.

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    #130393 - 05/24/12 07:31 PM Re: Gifted adults [Re: Val]
    DebM Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 07/27/11
    Posts: 17

    This is a reply to "Please forgive me if I came across as being arrogant".

    Hi Val and All. This is another challenge Gifted Folks can experience-being misunderstood and put down for being arrogant. By the way, I embrace your opinions and in no way sensed you were being arrogant.

    I've been frequently told by a non-gifted parent that "You're too big for your britches", when all I did was voice my opinion about something I'd given thought to.

    Gifted folks are known for being "opinionated" (and are usually described this way in less than in flattering terms). After awhile, with enough disappointments and criticisms about voicing our usually well thought-out conclusions, the best of us gifted ones can become overly cautious about appearing "arrogant" to others.

    Within a group such as this one, I personally can feel better understood and safer in expressing an opinion. Why? Because I sense we are having a good time, like Gifted ones can do, with learning about and exchanging new information - without feeling threatened. Whew!

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    #130395 - 05/24/12 11:32 PM Re: Gifted adults [Re: Schaps]
    La Texican Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/10/10
    Posts: 1777
    Loc: South Texas
    Originally Posted By: Val
     So as a person who tries to analyze a problem in depth, I get very frustrated when the discussion continues to revolve around the same simplistic ideas year after year and even after decades.  


    And sometimes folks give out quickly if you get really into something together.  Just means people aren't really into what they say.  No it doesn't.  It just means you're intense.  I guess I vaguely remember sometimes being told I was intense.  I forgot about all that.  I actually feel like a floating slow moving manatee, just watching my kids.  Any urge to "let it rip" is super suppressed by the urge to "watch it grow".  Something new is happening and I want to see.

    Originally Posted By: Schaps
    I am interested in starting a discussion about problems facing "gifted" adults.  My reading has led me to believe that I may belong to that category and it would be helpful to discusss some of the challenges that this "group" has to deal with on a day-to-day basis. 
    Please respond if anyone is interested.  Thanks.


    What kind of stuff you been reading?

    My personal gifted adult issues-
    1). I guess I personally do have a problem knowing I can do a better job than someone else at something that really does matter, it's something I could and would make a positive impact with, but I'm not taking any steps toward it because I don't want to argue myself into more work.  I have always been first in line to volunteer gladly.  Right now "my light's under a bushel".   

    2). Many interests that I've had on and off throughout my life are still there and they're still growing and evolving on a path of their own.  Especially ideas I've been developing over my lifetime.  Instead of incessantly building my knowledge bank and sorting them like I have for all my life I just find little trinkets of ideas that I like and throw them into their satchel with their project group.  I'd elaborate but it's just the stuff of thoughts and ideas.  No, that makes it sound weirder than it is.  I mean interests like folk medicine and stuff.  And I've always collected and traded arts and crafts techniques.  Recently I got a little time using an airbrush.  No, I have nothing to show and did nothing spectacular but it's that I doodled as a kid and then got into colored pencils later and now that interest seems to be sticking around and continuing to evolve.

    3.) As an adult and a parent it's TOTALLY not about you.  It's about appreciating your family life.  It's a gift.  Also I've never had sensory adverse symptoms but I got it a little now that I have kids.  I talked to a friend of mine and she said, yup, and it doesn't go away as you get older.  And my dad told me get ready because your body starts to do all kinds of weird stuff as you get older.  Oh yeah, and my nightmares have gotten B-O-R-I-N-G.  Used to they would have made a good novel but now they're about houses falling apart and stuff.

    I don't know if those are gifted issues or adult issues but it's a few of the things I feel at this stage of my life.
    _________________________
    Youth lives by personality, age lives by calculation. -- Aristotle on a calendar

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