Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy small boy grade skipping

Jewel, I have tears in my eyes. Thanks for sharing your story and insight. I'm glad your boys (hopefully both of them?) were able to find a comfortable fit eventually. Kids naturally gravitate toward my son now, and you're right, that probably wouldn't happen in an older set of kids. Very good food for thought. And deacongirl, I do see how that points to homeschooling or at least alternative schooling as well, to meet his academic needs.

Jewel, I disagree.

Acceleration, especially radical acceleration, obviously involves tradeoffs. It creates an age discrepancy with classmates in order to approximate an appropriate academic level.

However, I think it's going overboard to be so afraid of a single skip in kindergarten based on a parade of horribles from middle school. A PG child's educational options may change so drastically by normal middle school age (minus one) that these concerns are completely inapplicable anyway. A PG child may be taking college classes at that point. It's not valid to deny someone academic advancement at the proper pace and level based on concerns over sexting; such concerns are irrelevant in the face of such an academic mismatch. The thing to do is instead be creative in finding the best fit possible, while addressing social and safety concerns as well as possible.

Social and physical maturity are certainly important to consider, but concerns in kindergarten over a one-year mismatch of these factors in middle school are in my opinion never a reason not to skip a kindergartner. Before skipping a kindergartner, nobody is really going to undertake a months-long investigation involving interviews with middle-school boys of friends; interviews with lunchroom staff and custodians; interviews with gym teachers and coaches, asking to view locker rooms, walking the halls with special attention to watching boys, and seeking out parents of boys; reading months of middle school status updates, Facebook posts and blogs; an analysis of how young men are depicted in popular culture; and possibly repeating at the high school level. In fact, upon requesting access to do such things, serious concerns would probably be raised about one's true intentions, especially with a stated reason about a kindergartner.

Grade skips can work quite well, and this is supported by research. We don't need to be afraid of negative effects many years away when skipping a kindergartner. Instead, what's called for is a rational assessment of each proposed skip on a case-by-case basis. Reading up on on experts' opinions and research findings can help (see Hoagies, A Nation Deceived, etc.).

This is very well said. And the path we will take when I anticipate we will be considering a skip for dd5 in the future.

I've got skipping on the brain again today myself--DS's daycare provider brought it up to me again this morning. In fact, what she said was "You probably ought to prepare yourselves for him to skip K, don't you think?" (Her own kids are GT and her little boy is in K at the school he's slated to attend for K, so she knows what he's going to experience in K.)

He's very tall, so that's maybe good, but if his trajectory is like his sister's and his father's, he'll be tall through K and then level off and be average later.

I just...don't....know.

Right now one issue I see is that we are having major sibling rivalry here, and that having one skipped kid and one who is not skipped (DD could easily be skipped academically, but I would never consider it due to her social and emotional immaturity) would likely make things even worse. Anyone else have that issue?

My older brother was grade skipped, but I was not. He was simply just in a higher grade, and no questions were ever asked. For the most part, when kids are young this just doesn't seem to matter. It's just the way things are. If your son goes straight into 1st Grade, then your daughter will probably accept the fact that he is going into 1st Grade instead of Kindergarten. Your daughter will probably understand that this is just where he needs to be. The grade skipping was never an issue with me. (Of course, there were other areas of rivalry.)

Good luck!

I appreciate Jewel's perspective. Skips do not always work perfectly, and it is good to know some of the things you may encounter. But as lucounu pointed out, a lot of the things that Jewel mentioned sound less like a bad skip result and more like a bad school environment. I think it is a great idea to look ahead somewhat (though not all the way to middle school). Definitely investigate the class your kiddo is skipping into. If it appears that the group of kids will not be a good fit for your kid, think very hard before making a skip. And remember that you can always undo a skip. The elementary years are the hardest for kids who need more challenging materials - there is so much repetition. The early years are in my opinion the best ones to make a skip.

ETA: Not everyone is in a district with lots of options for schools, or in a state that allows open enrollment. Sometimes there really is just one bricks and mortar school option. In that case you have a whole other level of analysis to do when considering a skip, and I think Jewel makes some good points. If you cannot homeschool, and the social situation would become worse with a skip, then maybe it's not the best thing to do. Different in every situation. I do feel lucky that we've been able to drive to a better-fit out-of-district school for our DS, but sometimes there isn't that option.

I agree that you are going to run into these issues eventually even when your child is with same-age peers. However, as the parent of one middle school child and another on the verge of middle school, on the one hand and actually running into this both with a ds and a dd - it really can be more complicated to sort through and deal with when there is an age difference among peers - both for boys and for girls, both for the students themselves and for the parent parenting them through it all

I agree that it's unlikely that a parent is going to research all the many middle-school people and situations that Jewel listed in her post and also feel quite honestly that the world (including the actual school situations, and especially the world of technology) changes so quickly that what is relevant now at one specific middle school among one specific group of kids will be likely very different 4-6 years from now when a child who is currently headed into K-1 is moving to middle school. However, I really like her list as a list of all the things a parent should think about and work out for themselves re will I be comfortable with this situation for my child if he/she is skipped.

I also tend to think that a one-year skip for a kid who only really needs a one-year academic skip isn't all that big of a worry - we've had quite an age range in most of my kids' classes over the years simply due to birthdays and kids transferring in from other school districts and parents who hold kids back to give them extra time to mature before starting kindergarten. The age difference seems, just to me, to be more of an issue for a child who needs more than 1 grade level skip - and in that case, I haven't really seen that conventional schools (at least where we're at) offer a good solution anyway, so by the time your child is in middle school you'll most likely be looking at alternatives.

polarbear

Our son has skipped two grades and is now in 7th @ age 10.

Yeah, his gym clothes are baggy and he's not the tallest/fastest/strongest. He goes to school with a fair number of troglodytes. And yet he survives... no... he thrives. And excels.

I suppose I've had plenty of doubts over the years about his two skips, especially when I begin obsessing over what may or may not happen to him X years in the future. (Poor kid won't be driving until college!)

But... I recently worked on a project that took me into all the fourth and fifth grade classrooms in our district (where his age-mates are), and OMG... I couldn't imagine my son in any of those classes. Sure, he would be the perfect height and all... but c'mon.

What's the purpose of being retained with your age-mates & height/weight-mates if you are pulled out for special classes, private-tutored three years ahead in math, differentiated up the wazoo in every other subject, and essentially doing nothing with your classmates except for lunch & recess?

Yes... I KNOW there people with bad skip experiences. I KNOW skipping is not the answer for all gifties. Skipping is, however, a very practical and successful option for many and should not be dismissed.

-- -- -- --

And I'd be remiss for failing to mention "A Nation Deceived," which I think is excellent reading for people contemplating grade-skips or other methods of accommodation.

"A Nation Deceived"
http://www.nationdeceived.org/

There's an executive summary for the proverbial wetting of the feet: (http://www.accelerationinstitute.org/Nation_Deceived/Executive_Summary.aspx), and then the reader can plow into the full report for all the gory details.

You should also take some time to read some of the Personal Stories at the Nation Deceived website from students, teachers & parents:
http://www.accelerationinstitute.org/Personal_Stories/Read.aspx

And lastly, there's the wonderful article, "What a Child Doesn't Learn."

The full article is available here:
http://www.fightingautomatons.com/news/2009/02/gew-09-what-a-child-doesnt-learn/

We skipped DS7 into Kindergarten (his birthday is at the end of November). He was the smallest kid in class even when he was with kids "his age".

He's now in a 2/3 class (should be in 1st based on birthdate) and is still bored. Will we skip him again? Most likely not. However, I am glad we did the original skip because he would have been AWFULLY bored in class if he was in 1st grade now.

Granted, I don't know what it's going to be like for him as a middle/high schooler, but I think it would do more harm than good for him.

I was the youngest in my grade and I never felt "behind" when everyone else was driving, going through puberty, dating, etc.

I think there were some great points made for both arguments. I hope whatever you decide is good for your family and your children.

I don't know if Jewel is reading as it sounds like this is understandably a very difficult topic for her. I don't want to pick her post apart for that reason, but I do want to address two points or so.


As I mentioned earlier, I have girls and I imagine that the needs are different for different sexes. My youngest, however, is not grade skipped although she is among the youngest in grade and, technically, an early entry b/c we started her out of district to get around missing the cut-off for K by two weeks. Even without a grade skip, she is tiny, though. The smallest size PE uniform this year in 6th was a child's large (size 14). Dd11 was wearing an 8 slim at the start of the year and really still fits into some of her 8 slims. I had to have my mother alter the PE uniform shorts so they didn't hang below her knees and fall off her waist.

Point being, a small child is going to be smaller potentially for all his/her life. I do understand that boys grow later than girls and may not be destined to be smaller permanently as is the case with my dd, but if they are genetically likely to be small, that will be an issue regardless of age for grade. My dd would be a small 5th grader had we waited to start her in K a year.


I'm so sorry that this has been the experience at your district but it does leave me wondering what data they were using to skip these kids. I may be in the minority, but I'd be more hesitant to skip in K or very early b/c it may be harder to tell if it is absolutely necessary at that young age. If it is clearly absolutely necessary, then school is likely to be a challenge either way. "Clearly absolutely necessary" early in elementary, to me would include 99th+ composite IQ scores, math achievement at least at 2nd or 3rd grade level and reading at least at 4th grade equivalency.

We have not seen negative outcomes locally from well planned grade skips. Where parents have pushed in the case of a kid who could be accommodated in grade level, where there were 2e issues, where the IQ scores weren't available and the kid was skipped solely on the basis of high achievement (a grade or a few above level in some subjects especially if it wasn't advanced in writing)... Those are the instances where we've seen it not work out so well (and have heard as much from GT coordinators who were discussing the ramifications with us when suggesting a skip for dd13).

My dd13 is finishing up her freshman year of high school at a one of the top performing high schools in our area in a high performing area overall. Per her last transcript, she is ranked #1 in her class of about 500. Granted, I'm sure that #1 status is shared with other 4.0 students, but I'd be shocked if she cannot get into a good college and has to settle for her back up choice.