Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Behavior issues only at home

Well, the hard part about sensory processing disorder is that every child is unique in their constellation of needs. So the trick is figuring out what are the triggers. I think with what you've said about dd, it is definitely something worth investigating. And the tantrums can be directly related to a sensory event or indirectly. In other words, imagine if there was a constant irritating buzzing in your ear (this is just a metaphor) that you successfully ignore all day long. Then towards the end of the day or week, someone like a sibling does something that frustrates you. Maybe it wasn't really that big of a deal, but it was the last straw and you just lose it. And imagine that you're only 6 years old and trying to deal with that. For me, it made my ds's behavior make more sense. For example, he would be fine most of the time in school and then almost every Thursday afternoon he would lose it and I would get a call from the school that he's being disruptive, disrespectful, etc. Now that I understand his SPD I see those meltdowns differently. And at that age, it is hard for them to express what the problem is, although, when I think back to what he would say, I realize he was telling me and I just wasn't comprehending.
A sensory diet is a set of daily activities that have a calming effect on the person. I think of them as activities that make that irritating buzzing go away or least get alot quieter. It is different for each person, so you'd have to try different things to see what helped. But it can involve swinging, trampolines, heavy lifting/pushing, weighted things like backpacks or blankets. An OT would work with you to figure out what your dd's specific needs are. And yes there are definitely things that can be done at school. Does she ever complain about being uncomfortable at school?

I also think there is significant overlap between SPD and the overexcitabilities attributed to gifties. I think it is hard to draw a clear line between the two, but since the interventions are similar it probably doesn't matter so much. But when I think of my son's intensities, his SPD seems to fit. It's like he experiences the world more intensely and therefore sometimes welcomes the experiences and wants more(the seeking) and sometimes gets overwhelmed and needs to get away from it (the avoiding). What is important is figuring out your child's specific triggers and trial and error to find what helps her. I found that asking DS about the experience not when the meltdown happens but later when he is calmer, I was able to get some insights.

The upside is that even though DS had a horrible 1st grade teacher who made him feel like a bad kid (we eventually switched classrooms and his behavior improved dramatically), in 2nd grade he has been fantastic at school and much better at home now that we have recognized and responded to the sensory issues (I also met with the teacher right away and explained some of his issues and suggestions for dealing with them, this helped alot I think!).
So it does get better!!

I'm borrowing this from another poster in another thread, because it explained my point better than I could:


Just something else to look into, because the answer might be SPD, understimulation, or a combination of both. Because you mentioned how far ahead your DD is, and you mentioned she's not in the G/T program yet, so it sounds like she's not getting any kind of intellectual stimulation at school.

Plus, my own DD7 has been having the same issue to varying degrees, and her home meltdown frequency/intensity is inversely proportional to the amount of intellectual stimulation she receives at school.

I will say that we thought DD's issues might improve when we switched her to the gifted school--in fact, we were counting on it. No such luck. (The new school is a lot better than her old one, though it's still pretty easy for DD.)

Sorry to hear it UltraM. How disssapointing. Are you planning further advocacy efforts? Pretty easy just won't cut it for some of our intense kids. I know with our gradeskip it was great the first year then o the second year. Then like a mouthful of sand although still better the third year so we had to change again.
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Hugs to you! You're DD sounds like my middle DD. I can't give many suggestions, but can tell you in our experience, things got much better when she was in 4th grade, although she does continue to have a melt-down here or there. My DD definitely has sensory integration issues (mostly a sensory seeker).

Grinity, at this point we're waiting to see how next year goes. It's really been a big improvement over her previous school, so in a lot of ways I'm pleased. She's learning much more than was. However, she has also expressed to me that it's still easy and also that she knows perfectly well that she doesn't have to do her best to get great grades. I think it would be a difficult advocacy job, since she's really just a few points above the minimum IQ score for admission to the school (though we certainly have the grades to show that she's handling the workload effortlessly...although....homework is a major battle). Anyway, I'm not sure anymore how much of our issues can be attributed to lack of challenge at school.

So I tried asking her if there is anything at school that bothers her and she said yes. But when I asked her to tell me specifically what it is, of course she couldn't tell me.

She does complain that school is boring for her and she daydreams when the teacher is teaching. At least she's honest, right? lol

This could be part of the problem, but then that would mean since was an infant she wasn't getting intellectually stimulated enough since she has always been this way from the day she was born (just manifests in different ways).

Giftedness, issues, whatever aside, kids are often better at home than around the general public. They know it's safe to decompensate with Mom. It's safe to act up when they're tired, out of sorts, or just feeling ornery. Mom, unlike that weird lady at the grocery store, is not likely to kill and eat them if they misbehave. Whereas Weird Lady...we're not so sure about.

you have described my 5 year old son to a T. Let's just say that between January and the end of April he is now in Therapy for severe anxiety and learnt underachievement and is no longer attending school.

I will do a proper update post as soon as I have the emotional strength to do so.

Once they figure out that they onyl have to do half of what they are truly capable of, they get so angry inside. But some of the higher-level gifted kids don't show it outside of the home from what I have read.

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/underserved.htm explains it nicely.