Good point, Cathy. Maybe it was a parental badge of honor rather than the school's badge.

Still, I think that if anyone's kid is doing 2 hours of homework per night, it doesn't bode well...

Neither of the two schools seem like a good option to me.

My dd attends a school for the highly gifted. This school is known for its rigorous curriculum and just like the school you mentioned the curriculum is for the most part 2 years ahead.

However, even there they only start doing homework in 2nd grade and only about 15 min per grade level. There isn't much testing or competition going on either, which is actually a little surprising to me. Kids work cooperatively and this is highly emphasized. When you have a group of HG-PG children in a classroom, there is no need to "push" them academically every single day as you described. To an outsider it may seem like the children are being "pushed" because the things they are doing are so far ahead of their age peers. I can assure you this is not always the case. These children are capable, without having to be pushed, of achieving higher/deeper levels in their day to day learning.

My dd is doing 4-6 grade math at age 7. I can assure you she is not stressed and probably finds her homework easier than most children doing math at their age level. Achievement testing done shows her at 7-8 grade level, so even here she is working way below what she is capable of. If she was in a regular classroom she would be stressed out and going out of her mind.

The most important thing to do is to find a good "match" for your child. Look at the children in the "highly gifted" school. Do they look happy? Are they engaged in the learning?

At the beginning of the school year I asked my dd how was school. Her answer:

"If I am dreaming, please don't wake me up"

That to me, is the perfect school.

I agree. I hope my DS is this fortunate.

Bianc - that is lovely, and it sounds like you have a great fit there!

newtothis - it would be interesting to know more about the advanced school you are looking at? Is there an entrance/test score requirement? It would be interesting to know more about the kindergarten homework. Even if K's are working at 2nd or 3rd grade level, I would still think they could get away with very little homework with a bunch of HG children.

Sing it, sister! I think this is important wisdom here!

Great thoughts everyone! On paper Bianc, the HG school sounds like the same one your child is at in terms of selection (it is all HG or PG kids...minimum 145+/- and 99+ on achievement + portfolio and interview...but it's a public school). And, honestly, having seen the older students' classroom (2nd grade)- it looks like they may have a different formula or something for those kids - they looked relaxed and so did the teacher, etc. But the K/1 class is 7 desks lined up against a wall (facing the wall) and the kids work at their desk most of the time, independently, mostly progressing through textbooks and doing writing assignments. The homework amount is not just parent-reported, but teacher reported - she and the coordinator both told me during my tour that a lot a homework is expected (supposed to be about an hour a night, calibrated for these kids, not "average" kids. One K mom reports that her daughter usually takes at least 2 hours). Homework is primarily drill worksheets and writing assignments (and the teacher said she expects that they do every problem in every textbook). They truly want to see how far they can get them. If they were just working 2 (or 4!) grades ahead and they were doing it in a collaborative, fun way, it would be my dream school, but it really is tons of textbook/push through as far as you can/test you for mastery at the end kind of work. I have a DS who thinks that measuring every piece of furniture in the house and adding all the numbers up is a hoot...put those same numbers on a worksheet and tell him to add them and WWIII will break out.

But, the other school really would be easy peasy for him. And, I will definitely take to heart the advice from several of you on not letting him become a little professor. I am going to explore a skip to 1st in the Learning Immersion program. That might help a lot. Yes, his previously bad preschool behavior was directly correlated to lack of challenge (then again, he was in a school where they had determined that he was "not that bright" and was being poorly parented...the test results were a BIG shock to them!!!). So, it wasn't JUST lack of challenge, but also total failure to try to challenge that caused the other problems.

I'm really enjoying everyone's take on their own philosophy for educating these little ones...keep them coming!

a skip plus learning immersion, sounds really promising.

Bianca- your DD's school sounds awesome! She is so fortunate to have such a great educational fit.

Neato

Agreed, 'Neato! Promising, indeed!

I like that you're not locked into an either/or, false dichotomy, newtothis. Thinking outside of the box is key. If neither option is right, try to find another option.

Have you see the thing on Hoagies about finding the "least-worst" educational option? It's very useful for turning philosophizing into practice for such decisions. Here's the link: http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/least-worst.htm

My ultimate goal for my son is to be challenged and be happy. I want him to work hard and be proud of himself.

I do not think drilling/excessive homework is the best school option. My son hates repetition and I am sure most GT children are the same way. An ideal school would introduce new topics frequently and once mastered move onto something new.

I also don't think that helping to teach others is such a bad thing. Sure you don't want your child to be the teacher but I do remember as a child I was always asked to go to the younger grades to help the other students. I loved watching someone else have a light bulb moment based on my instruction. I wouldn't want my child to give up his own learning to teach others but it could be an option for enrichment.

Hi, the seven desks in a row school sounds horrible. The other school sounds kind of cool, although if your child is bored it might not fit. If the teacher in the second school is good at individualizing to the children's interests it might work out ok. Trust your instincts. I think parents see the most accurate picture of their children. I am starting to think mabe there is no ideal situation as we are having similar problems, but if you can find a setting where your child is happy that may be good enough.