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#125652 - 03/17/12 07:19 PM
Re: SICK of "you have to let kids just be kids"
[Re: sweetpeas]
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Member
Registered: 02/14/10
Posts: 1136
Loc: MA
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I am SO SICK of hearing "you have to let kids just be kids". It instantly makes me defensive, although I always just smile and nod in agreement.
I want to scream out "what are you implying? I do NOT do flashcards. I do NOT do workbooks. I do NOT use any kind of training program. My kids ARE kids."
You are indirectly doing what you dislike others doing, making accusations of "hothousing" based on little evidence. I have used workbooks (Singapore Math) and training programs (EPGY) with my children. They like to work on them a few times a week, and they still have plenty of time to go to the playground and play at home with each other.
_________________________
"To see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle." - George Orwell
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#125656 - 03/17/12 08:16 PM
Re: SICK of "you have to let kids just be kids"
[Re: sweetpeas]
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Member
Registered: 11/18/09
Posts: 483
Loc: The bottom of my cup
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People always try to confort me about my "worries" about my older son. Sometimes I daydream about telling them the *rest* of the story... It's funny how people jump in to comfort you for your kids' being slow at something everytime you say "oh, I'm not sure that's the right book/project/whatever for DS right now..." as he stares blankly at them for a second, and then leaves. DH has a great story about a substitue teacher and his math accelleration. Apparently the whole class "went allong" with the sub's assumption that he was doing remedial math... until he handed in both his (significantly) accellerated worksheet, and the regular class work before any one else in the class finished the regular work. Then he went back to his desk and took out a rubix cube... I'll let your immaginations fill that in  When I let DS "be a kid" he gets bored and starts tantrumming... but he's only 3, so I guess that's what they *want* him to do
_________________________
DS1: No, dear, you don't actually hablo Espanol just yet...
DS2: 6 quiet dinosaurs.
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#125660 - 03/18/12 02:47 AM
Re: SICK of "you have to let kids just be kids"
[Re: sweetpeas]
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Member
Registered: 01/14/08
Posts: 1124
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I am also surprised by the comments, as I had a great experience at a Montessori preschool and now looking at one for middle school because DD will be able to grade skip.
Though they may want him to work on the writing, which means working on the alphabet. But writing is necessary. Sometimes it is hard to do that. But so what, these things happen.
Good luck and you can always brag here.
Ren
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#125668 - 03/18/12 08:39 AM
Re: SICK of "you have to let kids just be kids"
[Re: Bostonian]
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Member
Registered: 09/07/11
Posts: 73
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I am SO SICK of hearing "you have to let kids just be kids". It instantly makes me defensive, although I always just smile and nod in agreement.
I want to scream out "what are you implying? I do NOT do flashcards. I do NOT do workbooks. I do NOT use any kind of training program. My kids ARE kids."
You are indirectly doing what you dislike others doing, making accusations of "hothousing" based on little evidence. I have used workbooks (Singapore Math) and training programs (EPGY) with my children. They like to work on them a few times a week, and they still have plenty of time to go to the playground and play at home with each other. I sincerely apologize if what I posted offended you. My intent was not to make any kind of commentary on hothousing. I don't think using workbooks IS hothousing, so I'm not quite understanding the connection being made here. My point was, I feel like when people say I am not letting my kids be kids they are implying that I must have them locked-down 24-7 doing academic stuff, that I never let them play or do what THEY want to do. My point was that I rarely even DO academic stuff with them - for example I don't use flashcards or workbooks. So I don't quite understand how my post might have been interpreted as accusing anyone of hothousing. But my mind was very self-centered when I wrote it, so I apologize for my carelessness in my word choices. My hope is to support all parents here, and I appreciate the support I get in return. I'm very sorry I made anyone feel bad with my post. That definitely wasn't my intent! I hope you can forgive me. You'd think with me being so sensitive, I'd be more sensitive to others in this regard!
Edited by sweetpeas (03/18/12 08:47 AM)
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#125669 - 03/18/12 08:44 AM
Re: SICK of "you have to let kids just be kids"
[Re: ElizabethN]
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Member
Registered: 09/07/11
Posts: 73
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This is special ed, not gifted, but this article on wrightslaw.com really opened my eyes about how schools operate. Frankly, it shocked me to the core. That was a very interesting article. In some ways, not surprising. School Psychologists work for the schools, afterall, and wouldn't be likely to remained employed for too long if they were always pointing out the shortcomings of the administration, curriculum, or teachers. So of COURSE any problems with a child MUST be either the parent's fault or something "wrong" with the child.  Very eye opening to see an actual study done on this. It seems like most schools want kids to fit into tiny little boxes. If they don't, something must be "wrong" (with the kid or with the parents). Thanks for sharing that link!
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#125670 - 03/18/12 08:46 AM
Re: SICK of "you have to let kids just be kids"
[Re: master of none]
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Member
Registered: 09/07/11
Posts: 73
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...
My point is that nobody really knows what's right but everyone has an idea.
... So true. I would also add that most people feel strongly that their point-of-view is the correct one.
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#125671 - 03/18/12 09:41 AM
Re: SICK of "you have to let kids just be kids"
[Re: sweetpeas]
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Member
Registered: 09/17/08
Posts: 346
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Sometimes, the school "psychologist" is not a psychologist at all. S/he can be a degreed person who has been "approved by the District". In our case, it is a Social Worker.
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#125675 - 03/18/12 12:08 PM
Re: SICK of "you have to let kids just be kids"
[Re: sweetpeas]
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Member
Registered: 11/28/11
Posts: 51
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I'm coming a bit late to this conversation, but I wanted to thank you for starting this thread. I've heard similar comments with regard to DS 4 so many times, that I've started filling in the blanks even before people say anything: "We don't force him. Yes, we read to him and have lots of books, but he really did it himself."
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#125678 - 03/18/12 12:29 PM
Re: SICK of "you have to let kids just be kids"
[Re: ElizabethN]
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Member
Registered: 02/12/11
Posts: 429
Loc: on the learning curve
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This is special ed, not gifted, but this article on wrightslaw.com really opened my eyes about how schools operate. Frankly, it shocked me to the core. whoa. That article makes you just stop in your tracks. geeze
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#125684 - 03/18/12 02:09 PM
Re: SICK of "you have to let kids just be kids"
[Re: sweetpeas]
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Member
Registered: 02/14/10
Posts: 1136
Loc: MA
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I am SO SICK of hearing "you have to let kids just be kids". It instantly makes me defensive, although I always just smile and nod in agreement.
I want to scream out "what are you implying? I do NOT do flashcards. I do NOT do workbooks. I do NOT use any kind of training program. My kids ARE kids."
You are indirectly doing what you dislike others doing, making accusations of "hothousing" based on little evidence. I have used workbooks (Singapore Math) and training programs (EPGY) with my children. They like to work on them a few times a week, and they still have plenty of time to go to the playground and play at home with each other. I sincerely apologize if what I posted offended you. My intent was not to make any kind of commentary on hothousing. I don't think using workbooks IS hothousing, so I'm not quite understanding the connection being made here. My point was, I feel like when people say I am not letting my kids be kids they are implying that I must have them locked-down 24-7 doing academic stuff, that I never let them play or do what THEY want to do. My point was that I rarely even DO academic stuff with them - for example I don't use flashcards or workbooks. So I don't quite understand how my post might have been interpreted as accusing anyone of hothousing. But my mind was very self-centered when I wrote it, so I apologize for my carelessness in my word choices. My hope is to support all parents here, and I appreciate the support I get in return. I'm very sorry I made anyone feel bad with my post. That definitely wasn't my intent! I hope you can forgive me. You'd think with me being so sensitive, I'd be more sensitive to others in this regard! I'm not upset, it's just that one can do some structured academic work with young children and still think of them as kids.
_________________________
"To see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle." - George Orwell
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