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    Joined: Jul 2010
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    ITA, I totes agree!  But what I mean is that when I asked my dad about teaching my kids good manners he said, "good manners is about not making people in the room uncomfortable".  Good manners is whatever doesn't make the people around you uncomfortable.  We were actually talking about table manners at the time though.


    Youth lives by personality, age lives by calculation. -- Aristotle on a calendar
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    Originally Posted by Meercat
    But that talent wouldn't be so useful if you had the luck to be born female and were young and happened to be interested in ... say... the military contractor arena or politics. In that scenario EQ would probably get you further than some with a higher IQ. A physician with a crummy bedside manner perhaps would be more successful as a brain surgeon than as an OB/GYN, etc.

    It also might help if I had some interest in actually practicing law.

    Sadly, eventually you have to stop going to school and actually pay back your loans.

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    This is such a fascinating thread. On the topic of IQ and EQ, my EG/ADHD/dysgraphic DS11 has struggled socially. He has been unable to perceive how some of his behaviors are off-putting and unable to read his peers' social cues which led to being bullied. We were referred by his tester to a very gifted child psych who assured me that EQ can be taught to a certain extent. His counseling with her was mainly social coaching and she used Mel Levine's "Jarvis Clutch Social Spy" as his assigned reading. It is all about being yourself while finding a more comfortable social fit. It is not a miracle cure but it helped him tremendously. Based on my experience EQ can be increased in bright kids if they are "taught" how to do it.

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    Maybe team sports is critical. Being part of the team. Everyone has a role. I never liked team sports, though played for the school soccer team in 7th and 8th grade. I liked individual sports and in the workplace I am a donkey's butt.

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    Originally Posted by Wren
    Maybe team sports is critical. Being part of the team. Everyone has a role. I never liked team sports, though played for the school soccer team in 7th and 8th grade. I liked individual sports and in the workplace I am a donkey's butt.

    Maybe team sports + understanding of social cues + understanding of non-verbal communication.


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    Per my professor in college- the strongest union in the US is the teacher's union. They are there to advocate for the best benefits they can possibly get for their members. This is a fact- not politics. This includes working less hours for more pay and benefits as well as many other goals the union has for its members.

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    Originally Posted by Wren
    I don't think there has been a "Good Old Boy's" network for a long time. The last I remember, that had any strength, was the Atlanta boys from NAPA auto parts and they were getting kind of old in the 80s. And they were limited to auto parts aftermarket.

    You would think good social and political skills would get you a CEO spot, but look at that idiot they had in charge of BP when the spill happened. He came up the geology route, a good science kid.

    Even that guy who wrote Outliers, admitted, that you can do the work, but you still need opportunity. Creating the opportunity is the skill for success. Maybe there is a book there....


    I think we do still have a good ole boy network. I worked for a very large international insurance company. I found that male college grads were concentrated in claims areas that paid more and females with equivalent education were placed in units of business that paid about 5-20% less. The worst part was that there were different work loads for the groups and the women ended up working 3-18 hours of overtime to complete the horrendous work load while the groups consisting primarily of men were given much lighter work loads and put in 40 hrs/ week. Break this down into the hourly rate of pay and you have a good old boys network....

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