Hello all, I am new here. Hoping to gain a bit of advice from other parents. I am at my breaking point and do not know what to do... I apologize in advance as I'm sure this will get long.
I am a mother of five, divorced in a rather sudden way a few years ago. Previously we had lived in an average sized city where the school did everything they could to help my son excel. They also worked with my daughter who is dyslexic. When we decided to move to the country to be closer to my extended family I had high hopes as in my mind a smaller district (average grade size is 20 students and they break them into two classes!) would be able to customize learning even more.
That has not been the case at all. The district has zero communication with parents. They want nothing to do with accelerated learning until the students hit eighth grade where "advanced math" can replace general math and biology can replace general science.
At first I went to the school to meet with teachers and attempt to work out plans for both of my older children. My son for acceleration, my daughter for extra time to read due to her dyslexia. Neither request has been listened to or acknowledged in any way. (I should say here that my sons Math teacher does go out of his way to give my son challenges that he works on in his free time. This is certainly not the district/school policy, though, this is one teacher who actually cares enough to help.)
When we started in this district my son was in 5th grade and honestly, I didn't push too hard on the accelerated request. I was suddenly a single mother of five starting a new business to support my children, and I just felt like he was doing well enough with his projects at home. (robotics, computer programming, and devouring my fathers old college engineering books and a collection of autobiographies of inventors he'd gotten for his birthday) I know I should have pushed the school more right from the start, but I was just so overwhelmed at our new situation and only had so much to give. That's terrible, I know, but that's just how it was.
Anyway, at first it wasn't bad. He had straight A's and seemed happy in school. Fast forward to this year, he is in 7th grade and things are falling apart.
I had a meeting with the super and the principal last week regarding an incident at the school. When that discussion was wrapped up I asked about the advanced classes that start next year. The principal said that she was the one to make the decision regarding which students are placed in the classes. Her feelings on my son being in them? "I do not feel that he has the appropriate amount of work ethic to even be considered for the classes." Despite his being a previously straight A student who is just this year falling behind due to homework not being turned in. Despite the fact that I've begged the teachers to challenge him, to see that he is bored out of his mind. Despite the fact that he is doing wonderfully in Math, where he has a teacher that challenges him. Despite the fact that they are making him take Keyboarding(!) when he knows how to program in Python because of the "missing work ethic" that he seems to have at home when he can work on things that challenge him.
My mother works for the district in the local building (k-3 is in our town, 4-12 is in a nearby town) and has told me to consider getting an IEP. She heard through the small town school grapevine that other parents have had to go that route in the past when the principal just didn't feel that their children "deserved" to be in the accelerated classes.
I am going to spend this afternoon researching the state of IEP for gifted students in Nebraska but thought I'd see what other parents have done in the past. Any other parents of districts that resist change? Advice? Is requesting an IEP an extreme move to make? If it is, I'd like to know what I could try first. I'm so frustrated and angry over the attitude there and just feel so angry.
