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    #124631 - 03/04/12 11:30 AM HELP!DS5 now hates reading, could be regressing???
    modbl Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 01/18/12
    Posts: 5
    Please help! I have an active 5 year old. He was very enthusiastic but his love of learning seems to be dwindling significantly this year. My DS5 scored above the 99th percentile with a 140 total; the highest score of 148 in the WPPSI last October. He is a PreK4 student at a local Catholic School. It is one of the best in the area and produced many IB valedictorians. However, he is no longer enthusiastic about school, his current teacher said he does not participate in prayers, singing, activities (doesn't raise hands much). I had given her a copy of the WPPSI report and she said because of his lack of participation, he does not show what he knows. I try reading with him and he says "I hate reading".

    Last year in PreK 3 his teacher said he was a good leader, well behaved, a little silly at times, but VERY smart and had to challenge him more than the others because he was more advanced. In the beginning of this year, he often acted silly and said that he enjoyed how everyone followed what he does. Recently, his teacher said that his behavior really improved but she still has to nudge him to get him to participate. He really hasn't shown what he knows because of his lack of participation. One thing for sure--- he won't do anything unless he wants to do it and he has been that way since birth. When he wanted to figure out something, he would be very driven till he figured it out. Unfortunately, it doesn's seem like he wants to do anything anymore (except for Legos, but he still gets frustrated very easily and sometimes says 'I can't do it, it's too hard'... even though they are for ages 8-14). He has become very bossy with me, when he gets frustrated he asks me to help him with things that he would have been able to figure out on his own.

    I'm kicking myself because the only decent Montessori school, which he was accepted to 2 years ago is 1.5 hours away. I think he would have flourished in an self-driven, independant learning environment that would've cultivated a love of learning. It is literally impossible to get him in at this point. But we decided to send him to his current school, which we do love for many reasons... but didn't realize how gifted he was, how he learned best, and how limited even a good private school could be for some gifted students.

    He seems to love more science and math; loves building blocks and legos. I applied him for a STEM magnet school for next year, but there are slim chances he will get in... additionally, it does not have a second language or religion component. If he got anything out of school this year, he had the most amazing questions about the origin of life, God, and the universe... "Is the solar system God's toy?"--- questions like that. He also learned alot of Spanish at his current school and seems to enjoy that. Aside from that, there's alot of "I hate reading" and "I don't want to do it". He reads well but avoids it, but I really have to push him to try and he gets very angry so I've back down a little because I was worried that I may be adding to his "hate of reading.

    What happened to my boy? He was the most independent child--- now seems more dependent on me than ever! Why has he developed a hate for learning all of a sudden? Why is he guessing without thinking or avoiding everything? In our area,we have very limited resources for gifted children and I am afraid that he is developing an "I don't care attitude". Could the test be wrong... or could he be regressing? He used to be a quick, sharp learner. Now he guesses the difference betweet a quarter and nickel...and the number 31 and 13 (I was told this could be common and is probably not dyslexia). This is a boy who pretty much taught himself the alphabet and phonics, LOVED puzzles and maps, counted to 10 in 3 languages, and did the US puzzle under 1 minute by 2 1/2. Now he is obsessed with super heroes and only wants to stay home and do nothing but swing the light saber at his little brother. He doesn't like to be told what to do. He doesn't like or even try activity books anymore. I got him a Leapster and on all the reading and Math questions he guesses till he gets it right... doesnt even try to stop and think. I'm really trying to make learning fun with him--- got super hero books, ask super hero question, and he acts like he knows I'm tricking him... so he will roll his eyes or say "I don't feel like answering you right now". Sometimes I feel like I have a 5 year old teenager.

    Sorry this was such a long entry... but I'm very worried for my son and I just want him to love learning again! If anyone can help with suggestions... it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you! smile

    #124704 - 03/05/12 11:58 AM Re: HELP!DS5 now hates reading, could be regressing??? [Re: modbl]
    1111 Offline

    Registered: 08/26/11
    Posts: 246
    I am not sure what the deal is but I am suspecting he has lost interest in school because he is not being challenged enough.

    Where do you live? When is his birthday? It might have been a good idea to accelerate him into Kindergarten instead of going through pre-K this year. Is there a chance you can skip Kindergarten and get him into 1st grade in the fall?

    My DS4 is starting Kindergarten a year early in the fall and I got him into the Pre-K4 program this past August when he was supposed to be in Pre-K3. He had to test into it. Even K4 is WAY too easy for him but he did learn some things last semester. This semester, not much...he is pretty much just "sitting out" the rest of the year.

    Seems to me your son needs more stimulation in school. He might have gotten anti learning because of boredom. I wouldn't push him though. Let him be so he doesn't get turned off even more. He once had a passion for learning, that passion is still there. It just needs to be rekindled again. Focus on finding a solution for this upcoming school year, maybe a possibility to skip Kindergarten.

    There are lots of more experienced people on this board than me so I hope you get some more advise.

    #124711 - 03/05/12 01:18 PM Re: HELP!DS5 now hates reading, could be regressing??? [Re: modbl]
    La Texican Offline

    Registered: 07/10/10
    Posts: 1777
    Loc: South Texas
    I think "using his passion" to teach him doesn't mean taking his interest and applying it to plain regular lessons (like super-hero math).  It means to look for the things he's getting excited about.  For example, if you can get a kid excited they start talking more, which leads to better vocabulary, which leads in turn to better reading and writing.  

    I don't fully subscribe to that method, but I read a lot and I think that's a misconception.  
    Youth lives by personality, age lives by calculation. -- Aristotle on a calendar

    #124719 - 03/05/12 02:55 PM Re: HELP!DS5 now hates reading, could be regressing??? [Re: modbl]
    Dude Offline

    Registered: 10/04/11
    Posts: 2856
    DD7 went through a similar experience. At 4 she had a wonderful preK teacher who recognized DDs abilities and helped her explore them. As a result, DD had a great attitude towards school, and had lots of friends.

    Then came K. DD was getting shoved aside, bored, frustrated, etc. She started pretending to dumb down in order to fit in. She started showing a lot of the same symptoms you're reporting here... pretending not to know things she'd mastered long ago, openly stating she hated learning, collapsing anytime she was offered anything that wasn't easy, etc.

    The solution was to homeschool for that year. Now she's back in school for 1st grade, which is still not up to standards but at least is better, and the same can be said for DD's attitude towards school and challenges.


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