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    #124381 - 02/29/12 08:01 PM Re: Messing up her social domain... again [Re: Dude]
    Stephi1307 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 01/02/12
    Posts: 53
    I have practically no experience since my son is only starting "real school" next year, but from what I've read the best thing to do with a gifted kid is try things out. If it was me I'd have her try the lunch with the older kids for a few weeks. Then if it works out you have a good argument for a grade skip and if not you can say its not working out and put her back with 1st grade lunch. If you explain it to her like that she might be willing to give it a try. If you don't try you really won't know if it would have been better or not. good luck =]

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    #124408 - 03/01/12 06:14 AM Re: Messing up her social domain... again [Re: master of none]
    Dude Offline
    Member

    Registered: 10/04/11
    Posts: 2856
    Originally Posted By: master of none
    So she's in class with the other GT kids in grades 2 and 3 that are going to lunch? Is that correct and she knows some kids? If so, I wouldn't be as concerned.


    I wouldn't be as concerned, either, if it wasn't for the fact that these older kids are also gifted. So they're not only older, they're also mature for their age... meaning DD still looks like a little kid to them.

    DD went out to lunch with the older kids Tuesday, and none of the GT kids wanted to sit with her.

    If they'd just skip her, she'd get along with the other older kids just fine.

    Anyway... the school has proposed an alternative schedule, where DD gets to skip the (totally useless) morning meeting, get an extra 20 mins of 1:1 time with the GT teacher, and then cut out 30 mins early to join her 1st grade class for lunch. So that's the way we're going.

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    #124410 - 03/01/12 06:33 AM Re: Messing up her social domain... again [Re: Dude]
    bzylzy Offline
    Member

    Registered: 01/29/12
    Posts: 416
    Ouch, what is that, inter-gifted bullying through social isolation?

    It's good that they offered an alternative though.

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    #124411 - 03/01/12 07:04 AM Re: Messing up her social domain... again [Re: Dude]
    ABQMom Offline
    Member

    Registered: 08/25/10
    Posts: 868
    That sounds like a better plan for her; glad you were able to work it out that way.

    It's funny how special classes can be that way - with all of the kids realizing they don't fit in but not necessarily wanted to be too attached to anyone else that is gifted either for fear of looking like they don't fit in instead of just feeling like it. This happened in a couple of instances with my older son, and it just seems to be a chemistry thing of one or two kids leading the rest of them down that track.
    _________________________
    ~Lisa
    http://www.lisaabeyta.wordpress.com/

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    #124450 - 03/01/12 01:25 PM Re: Messing up her social domain... again [Re: Dude]
    Grinity Offline
    Member

    Registered: 12/13/05
    Posts: 7207
    Loc: Connecticut
    Often gifted kids are less likely to judge by size or age, but my guess is that the lower LOG gifted are less like that and more interested in social competition. Sometimes gifted groups can be very territorial and nasty. This reminds me of the insecurity that Dweck's entity theory of intelligence kids display. Sad.

    And sometimes some year-groups of kids are just meaner than others. I hope that experience with this particular bunch doesn't sour her on older kis altogether. It isn't her height...there is something wrong with that particular situation.

    Anyway 1to1 time sounds great for now
    Smiles
    Grinity
    _________________________
    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com

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    #124452 - 03/01/12 01:42 PM Re: Messing up her social domain... again [Re: Dude]
    Dude Offline
    Member

    Registered: 10/04/11
    Posts: 2856
    Not only are the other kids gifted, but almost all of them are older by 2 years. The class has 9 kids, and 7 are 3rd graders. There's one 2nd grader, and then DD.

    Then again, DD has a gifted friend in 4th grade.

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    #124519 - 03/02/12 12:29 PM Re: Messing up her social domain... again [Re: Dude]
    Grinity Offline
    Member

    Registered: 12/13/05
    Posts: 7207
    Loc: Connecticut
    And I wonder how many of the 3rd graders are old for grade. Not that I think giftedness is more associated with old-for-gradeness but I predict that it5 is common for school folks to confuse the two.

    But the main point is that it isnt size and it is unlikely to be age...hense the 4th grader...more likely to be LOG or personality or the effects of entity hypostesis view of giftedness.

    Smiles
    G
    _________________________
    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com

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    #124521 - 03/02/12 01:04 PM Re: Messing up her social domain... again [Re: Dude]
    Dude Offline
    Member

    Registered: 10/04/11
    Posts: 2856
    There's a high likelihood of at least some of them being old for 3rd grade, because red-shirting is all too common around here. That wouldn't account for it entirely, because the kids do have to be assessed by an IQ tool, and that's age-controlled. But it's not like the standards are all that high. DD is solidly in the middle of the MG range, and she crushed the requirements for GT.

    I'd also suggest the fact that 7 of 9 of these kids all leave the GT class and go to the same (or at least similar) classes, lunch and recess together, which helps them form very tight cliques, to which DD would be an outsider, is a major factor.

    One of the things we've asked for is that the school move the first graders they're screening for GT to the top of the pile, to help end her isolation there. I'm shocked that here we are in March now and they still haven't identified anyone, because DD has already identified one that's not even in her class. We met her at DD's birthday party, and between the mom's comments and the kid's behavior, she exhibited all the classic signs.


    Edited by Dude (03/02/12 01:05 PM)

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    #124525 - 03/02/12 02:21 PM Re: Messing up her social domain... again [Re: Dude]
    bzylzy Offline
    Member

    Registered: 01/29/12
    Posts: 416
    These kids always find each other...a tiny little new girl in DD's music group is sticking very close to DD. She's very, very quiet (the new girl, certainly not my DD) but you can practically see and hear the gears going full time behind her eyes. Luckily, being very nice to every kid is one thing nobody has ever found fault with in my DD.

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    #124528 - 03/02/12 03:19 PM Re: Messing up her social domain... again [Re: Dude]
    C squared Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 02/28/12
    Posts: 30
    So glad a better schedule worked out!

    My son was full-grade-skipped in 2nd grade (it is maybe the only example that occurred in our district in 10+ years, and it is a medium-sized district with 3500 kids in K-12, so it was an unusual circumstance in our town). But this really didn't remedy the situation, so by the time he hit middle school/6th grade, he was selected with 4 other kids to skip 6th grade math and join the 7th graders for math. This would have been fine, but same lunch problem--he had to eat lunch with the 7th graders.

    This was a double problem for him (he tried it for 4 weeks, and was so miserable, we opted out). First problem--he felt a little like a pariah in the 7th grade lunch, so it was fairly miserable. Second problem--he is a really social guy, so he REALLY missed his 6th grade friends. They no longer have recess, so this was his one chance to truly socialize. So even if the 7th grade lunch was tolerable, or even mildly pleasant, he still would have been sad to miss the 6th grade lunch.

    Our solution: we felt that the social stuff is way more important than the academic stuff. But we weren't totally okay with disregarding the advanced math, as we'd like him to be with those other advanced kids in high school. So, we left him in 6th grade math (yes, a boring review, but a kind/sweet/energetic/fun teacher who does her best to keep him interested), and did EPGY's online 7th grade math at home that year. This year, he's in 7th grade, and he did EPGY's 8th grade math at home. One more year of this extra work, and he can slip into the year-ahead math at the high school. So, it cost us to pay for the online class, but was 100% worth it to keep him with his friends/class for lunch. Too bad the schedule is set up to force them into this weird decision of lunch vs. more appropriate math class!

    I guess this long response is partially to encourage you to realize that they probably learn so little, even with the gifted teacher, that losing out on a 40 minutes of gifted class could probably be made up at home in 20 minutes one-on-one with you!!! So I would focus on happiness. A little bonus after-schooling with you can provide some challenge. But it seems you may have managed the best of both worlds. Good luck!

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