We recently had DD8 complete the CDI (a depression inventory) and the MASC (an anxiety inventory) through our ped. She scored within normal limits for anxiety and right on the borderline of diagnosable for depression. Daily issues include rage, tears, inflexibility, low self-esteem, and worry. She likes her school, which is a GT magnet. It is still probably too easy, but a lot closer than her previous school arrangement. She has no behavior issues of note at school. I don't really think school is the issue, though I could be wrong. She has always been a "hard" kid, from birth.

DD's ped, whom I really like and who had GT kids herself, has recommended counseling (based on the screeners) and given me the names of a couple of counselors. She was pretty firm in her opinion that DD does not need meds (I agree) but that intervention of some kind is warranted.

I'm not anti-therapy, but I wonder about its efficacy for a young child. I'd be interested in positive (or negative, I guess) stories about your children's experiences with it.

I will say that we are all frustrated and upset here quite often. I feel a need to do SOMETHING. I have explained the concept of therapy to DD and she is receptive. I have no idea what our insurance coverage would be like.

With the insurance plans we've had they won't cover w/out a diagnosis. Previous ones you could pay out of pocket but it depends on the provider, some won't do that (and it's very expensive, at least where we have lived $125-$150 per hour range.

My first experience with DD when she was in K, the counselor (who was supposed to be really good for gifted kids) was very...casual...saying she needed to code either anxiety (a "lighter" diagnosis to attach to the child's record) or depression. She said she usually recommended depression,even if the child wasn't clinically depressed, because looking down the road, with this on the child's record it was easier to go on disability when the child turned 18.

That didn't set too well with me, a child with obvious problems at school but none at home. It was simply my opinion but it felt too much like throwing in the towel too soon without exploring anything else, a better school fit etc. Anyway I did thanks but no thanks to that.

With homeschooling there weren't any issues.

We explored it this summer after 2nd grade, having been back in school, and some bullying issues but just got some advice which when applied seemed to work wonders, then a great summer vacation. No diagnosis. I'm not looking deeper right now until we do some more educational type testing. My DD is staying afloat besides just being very tired, possibly according to her OT from the amount of compenstations she's doing for 2E type issues. We need more info about that right now it's the priority to get the whole picture/framework to move forward.

So I'd ask outright about how the diagnosis works, and maybe ask about family counseling? Maybe she's really holding it together at school but letting things come out at home where it's more "safe" to do so and you could learn some ways to help and feel more secure about your support to your DD.

It's all a very personal decision but you're right to seek as much info as you can! Anyway good luck.

DS8 has been going to counseling for about a month. I'm not sure how much it's helping yet, but it's certainly not hurting. She focuses on practical things with him - how to calm himself down, breathing exercises, etc. She also talks through issues he's had that day or the previous - and helps him identify the choices he made and if they were good choices, or if not, what the better choice might have been.

There's nothing Social Security Administrative Law Judges like less than a diagnosis that is completely unsupported by clinical notes coupled with a lack of medication.

We have had therapy of different types since DS was in preschool. I was AMAZED at how effective it was. The therapists seem to have a way of talking and playing with our son that encourages him to open up and work out solutions on his own.

Seeing it in action, I have tried to use their techniques, but am not NEARLY as successful as they are. I do not know what the magic trick (ha ha) is, but it has worked very very well for us.

And we do not have any insurance coverage for any of it, but it is well worth the money for us.

(just so you know how serious it was, DS was making suicidal statements when he was 5 and the psychologist worked him through it. She has been our life-line ever since.)

Kate

Thanks JonLaw! I didn't know that but based on my gut feeling about it at the time (and also looking back) I threw it on the giant heap of really bad advice I've gotten for my DD over her young life.

Dd was having trouble in K --social difficulty at school -- she truly didnt know what to do on the playground--and some anxiety. I remember feeling so odd calling to set up a therapy appt for my 5 yr old. The therapist did say that she wanted to see young children--the earlier the intervention/ help the better.i look back on that experience as a fork in the road. It made a huge positive difference for my dd.

Our insurance has mental health benefits. We used a therapist "in network" and paid a small co-pay.

DD7 is in the beginning stages of therapy with a psychologist, though we're not calling it that. We do tell her he's a doctor who specializes in how people think, and that the purpose of going there is to help her deal with some of her negative emotions and help us advocate for her better at school.

She mostly spends her time there socializing and drawing, which suits her just fine. She enjoys going.

We hate our insurance company overall, but after we resolved their usual screw up they're covering this reasonably well, leaving us with a reasonable co-pay.

Re: Kate's "(just so you know how serious it was, DS was making suicidal statements when he was 5 and the psychologist worked him through it. She has been our life-line ever since.)"

That is very scary. I have an aquaintance whose daughter has stopped eating decently because she says she is fat...the child is only 6/1st grade and like a little toothpick (before she stopped wanting to eat).

Hearing these stories just makes me feel very sad for our society, what are we doing wrong...?

I get that school is better than it's ever been, but it may not be helping as much as it could. I would call a meeting with the teacher and let her know the results of the Pedi meeting and ask if you can do some kind of trial of subject acceleration or full grade accel just to see if it improves the observed symptoms of rage, tears, inflexibility, low self-esteem, and worry. They might be shocked to know what is going on at home if she is holding it together in school, and sadly, they might need to hear some same stories of the above behavior to get an idea of the level of importance making an exception might have to your family.

As for her being 'hard' since birth, well, yes, we see this. I love the book "Transforming the Difficult Child Workbook" by Lisa Bravo and will answer any questions about how to apply it. Like an IQ test, the CDI results don't change the child you have in front of you, only label her. She is still the same kid, so it's ok to try a few things, diet, exercize, the book before you try the therapy. I like to write a date on my calandar with a note like - are symptoms 70% improved, if not call (list the numbers)

Best Wishes whatever you try,
Grinity