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    Joined: Aug 2010
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    I wondered about whether she needs a diagnosis for therapy to be covered. The ped didn't mention it. I suspect they can code her as depressed if they need to. She scored a 13, which some people use as the cutoff, whereas others use 19.

    I think DD would like therapy. She likes adults, she likes to be taken seriously, and she is open and receptive to discussing her feelings. I also believe that on a gut level she wants to be helped. So all this is good, but then I do wonder about the expense and inconvenience.

    Grinity--I have considered asking for harder work. The interesting thing about DD is that she scored just a few points over this school's cutoff (130) but seems to still be pretty much way at the top of her class. Anyway, her numbers would likely not support acceleration, since she is of "average" IQ for this group, I'm sure. Her achievement in school is extremely high, however. She appears interested and engaged, with some occasional complaints about math being too easy.

    There is a question about suicidal ideation on the scale. She answered it with the "middle" answer--"I think about it sometimes but I would never do it." She has said "Fine, then I'll just kill myself!" (or "Since you hate me I just want to die", or something) once or twice in the extreme heat of the moment, then later has been remorseful and said she knew that was a very hurtful thing to say. I really don't think she is seriously sucidical, but that does give you a sense of the intensity of her emotions.

    I also think we might benefit from family therpay--we might suggest that. And I still wonder if we are missing an Asperger's or ADHD dx. The ped appeared very skeptical that either was at play, but she is just one ped.

    Last edited by ultramarina; 02/23/12 04:49 PM.
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    Originally Posted by ultramarina
    We recently had DD complete the CDI (a depression inventory) and the MASC (an anxiety inventory) through our ped. She scored within normal limits for anxiety and right on the borderline of diagnosable for depression. Daily issues include rage, tears, inflexibility, low self-esteem, and worry. .... She has always been a "hard" kid, from birth.

    DD's ped, whom I really like and who had GT kids herself, has recommended counseling (based on the screeners) and given me the names of a couple of counselors.

    Ultra, are you still planning to pursue neuropsych type eval, or are you stopping at this point? I ask because what therapy you choose depends on what you find.

    Based on our experience, I am not a huge fan of talk therapy for little kids. DS did a year of that, but the therapist didn't get far with him. She did give us the AS diagnosis and she shipped us off to someone who really could help, so I'm grateful to her, but talking alone wasn't going to solve his particular combination of issues, which included a hefty dose of anxiety.

    I am a huge fan of cognitive-behavior therapy. I think even a bright 6 year old can start understanding the principles, and using it to reduce anxiety. Far more effective IMO than most other kinds of therapy.

    I agree that if you're that frustrated, it is worth trying something.

    HTH,
    DeeDee

    ETA: for the sake of completeness I should mention that DS has had a hefty dose of ABA therapy (also based on behaviorist principles) and that this too has been very effective for him.

    Last edited by DeeDee; 02/23/12 04:53 PM.
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    The ped recommended against a neuropsych eval. I didn't feel like pushing it with her, so I'm instead planning to push for further evaluation with the therapist (I guess that means I am planning to call). On the positive side, the therapist she recommended does do CBT.

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    Originally Posted by ultramarina
    I wondered about whether she needs a diagnosis for therapy to be covered. The ped didn't mention it. I suspect they can code her as depressed if they need to. She scored a 13, which some people use as the cutoff, whereas others use 19.

    I think a psych would code either the anxiety or the depression, whatever works better for the insurance. Insurance is highly variable with regard to mental health issues.

    Originally Posted by ultramarina
    I really don't think she is seriously sucidical, but that does give you a sense of the intensity of her emotions.

    I hear you, but I'd still want to make sure a therapist was working on that issue. Even the idea of self-harm is not one to mess around with.

    Originally Posted by ultramarina
    I also think we might benefit from family therpay

    Anything that helps parents cope is good IMO.

    Originally Posted by ultramarina
    And I still wonder if we are missing an Asperger's or ADHD dx. The ped appeared very skeptical that either was at play, but she is just one ped.

    I wouldn't trust a ped's judgment on this. My DS has a glaringly obvious, almost stereotypical case of AS, and the ped (who is otherwise superb) thought it was just giftedness.

    As you know from our prior conversations, I see red flags for AS in some of her profile. If you can get the eval done, I think it may be helpful for ruling in/out.

    DeeDee

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    Originally Posted by ultramarina
    The ped recommended against a neuropsych eval. I didn't feel like pushing it with her, so I'm instead planning to push for further evaluation with the therapist (I guess that means I am planning to call). On the positive side, the therapist she recommended does do CBT.

    The therapist will know more than the ped; time will tell what all she can accomplish. This sounds like a good first step.

    DeeDee

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    I would consider myself conservative on the subject of counseling etc. and diagnosis due to how I was raised, and DH is worse, but when DD was 3 and her preschool music teacher said "don't let that child enter a public school without a diagnosis" and strongly advised, as a friend, sensory processing issues, I listened and learned about it. However DD's ped at the time would not "cooperate" and sign the required script/papers for the eval and sessions, and we muddled through.

    Anyway, long story short, we're at age 8 with 4 hard years behind her. She's a lovely kid blessed with a fantastic sense of humor, but it hasn't been fair on her. I haven't given up trying and I believe she knows that but it's hard on the family.

    I really respected that ped back then but it was not good advice.

    5 years later, she's in OT and it's great and better than not doing it, but it would have been great if she started when littler.

    And now we have a neuropsyche appt scheduled for the spring. Her current ped (third one since we moved to new state less than 3 years ago) readily admitted that he is a conservative ped but in some circumstances he is willing to listen, learn, grow, and DD's case is one of them. We spoke on the phone for 30 minutes yesterday evening...he called at home after 7 pm, and he is on board for anything that needs to happen based on her history and getting to the core of some of the reasons for the history.

    Anyway I probably went overboard with this post, but I agree with other posters that you can be friends with your ped and respect them for what they are, but you might be right back to the neuropsyche in a few years or so, and that's time wasted for your DD and a huge amount of stress for your family to go through.

    Best wishes...

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    I think therapy is a good idea if it is really needed...
    School sounds like it is the problem... because if it isn't school, is it home?

    I hope this doesn't sound too hippy-ish, but another thing no one has mentioned is nutrition and diet. I doubt hormones (like thyroid) are a problem at that age, but I know when I had hypothyroidism and was eating only processed food I had horrendous depression. Eating real food, making sure I take enough thyroid hormone and taking Vitamin D (or going in the sun enough) turns me into a completely different and pretty happy / content person. Do not underestimate what eating all whole foods can do for someone's mood and outlook on life. It is not all mental.

    Food allergies or intolerances can also affect your mood. If I start slipping on those things I get depressed and I don't even have an actual reason to feel that way.

    Last edited by islandofapples; 02/23/12 05:49 PM.
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    We discussed the possibility of blood tests, but I doubt there's anything. Ped suggested Omega 3s, which I'm fine with trying but won't expect much from.

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    Originally Posted by bzylzy
    I have an aquaintance whose daughter has stopped eating decently because she says she is fat...the child is only 6/1st grade and like a little toothpick (before she stopped wanting to eat).

    Hearing these stories just makes me feel very sad for our society, what are we doing wrong...?

    DD7 got the idea that she was ugly just by watching an episode of "Victorious," which as a Nickelodeon show tries very hard not to send the wrong messages. A repetitive theme has people remarking on the star character's beautiful cheeks... innocent enough... except that people with prominent cheeks are usually gaunt, just like the actress is. My DD decided she didn't have pretty cheeks, and therefore was ugly.

    The wrong message about girls and their appearance is so pervasive that it's just that easy for our kids to receive it.

    As a parent, I took it upon myself to immediately invalidate that message. We explained how everything she sees on TV and magazines is fake.

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    Don't forget regular exercise. Regular exercise (in kids and adults) can help prevent depression. Regular exercise can also help prevent Alzheimers long-term.
    In today's world, so many kids get very little exercise- they sit in front of the TV or play video games.

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