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    #123349 - 02/18/12 03:15 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: islandofapples]
    La Texican Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/10/10
    Posts: 1777
    Loc: South Texas
    The PBS answer is, "everybody that you meet, when you're walking down the street, has got an original point of view."

    I'm looking for the words to say, "baby. You're not crazy. I see it to. I prefer to call it... To be cont.'d
    _________________________
    Youth lives by personality, age lives by calculation. -- Aristotle on a calendar

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    #123351 - 02/18/12 03:17 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: Iucounu]
    La Texican Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/10/10
    Posts: 1777
    Loc: South Texas
    Originally Posted By: Iucounu
    Originally Posted By: annette
    If that means some people are offended, so be it.

    I rest my case.


    I truly hope ABQ mom doesn't end up getting ran off. I truly value the practical people.
    _________________________
    Youth lives by personality, age lives by calculation. -- Aristotle on a calendar

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    #123352 - 02/18/12 03:17 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: Iucounu]
    islandofapples Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/20/11
    Posts: 332
    Originally Posted By: Iucounu
    It's easy to get defensive when someone calls us on our use of offensive speech: "It's all in the ears of the hearer", "Some people just like to be offended and it's nobody else's fault", "There are possible interpretations besides the glaringly obvious hurtful ones", "You're making my point for me", etc. It's often easy to cut through such nonsense by simply putting oneself in the position of the specific hearer, and likely others as well.

    Might someone get offended upon learning that someone described her child as a zombie? Weird? Glazed (i.e. lifeless etc.)? Of course they certainly would-- any argument to the contrary is so ridiculous that it terminates any pretense at reasonable debate. It's pure bull****. (If you insert an offensive term there, it's your issue and not mine.)

    If any posters here saw a little of their own attitudes in my previous post, I hope it stings a little. The extent to which it does may be the extent to which they can easily change to become more kind and mindful of others, when discussing topics with such an obvious capacity for hurt feelings-- and with such recent evidence of the sort of backlash their attitudes cause against the parents of gifted children. There may be little hope for those who stick to their guns even after someone lets them know that they have been personally, directly offended to the point of leaving this site.


    Agree with most of that...
    If I am honest with myself, I'd have to admit that my own stance on just telling it like it is stems from an entire lifetime of being misunderstood, put down and treated badly. No one ever thought it was important to censor what they said to me.... yet, I was supposed to censor myself. I had to "dumb" myself down and avoid saying certain things.

    Most of us on here still do that, daily. So... we want more acceptance from people like "I hate hearing about your gifted kid" lady, so we need to model good behavior.. .
    OK. I like that idea, but I think that, in reality, there will always be people who feel bad or jealous of other people. It is human nature and not going anywhere. Trying our best to not offend someone else won't make them more tolerant of us. And I really, really think this thread has been quite tame.

    And I personally think I keep what I say pretty "tame". Other babies look "sleepy" to me. I don't know. I missed the gifted cut-off and I was apparently one of those "blanket babies" who behaved everywhere. Maybe I had a glazed look. But I am SO not offended!

    I used to agonize over it a bit more when I was younger (maybe even on this forum?), but now I know what my capabilities are (and aren't) and it is what it is. I accept where I'm at. There are lots of people in the world who look better than me and do things better than I do. I'm just somewhere on a spectrum.

    There are many many people who have not reached the level of acceptance I have about some things, but when does considering their feelings (these imaginary offended people apparently reading these words) get ridiculous? I can respect the feelings of my friend that I'm talking to, but it is nice to have the freedom to talk about things like this on an online forum... I can't control who drops in from google. Maybe the anonymity of forums is a problem, though... people are certainly more honest and even cruel online.

    I think the differing opinions on this also come from having different personality types. (Ex: MBTI.. F vs T)


    Edited by islandofapples (02/18/12 03:29 PM)

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    #123353 - 02/18/12 03:21 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: Iucounu]
    annette Offline
    Member

    Registered: 01/20/11
    Posts: 253
    Originally Posted By: Iucounu
    Originally Posted By: annette
    If that means some people are offended, so be it.

    I rest my case.


    Yes, I don't walk on egg shells so as not to offend the easily offended.
    That's called--being healthy!

    Do I occasionally offend without meaning to? Sure. So do you.
    That's different than being intentionally cruel and posting posts that I hope will "sting others."

    I rest my case. smile

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    #123354 - 02/18/12 03:22 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: La Texican]
    JonLaw Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/29/11
    Posts: 2007
    Loc: The Sub-Tropics
    Originally Posted By: La Texican
    I think we'd be talking about calling everybody in the world dull and lifeless by just looking at them at the supermarket. I didn't know we were talking about other people's kids we actually know & spend time with.


    I feel dull and lifeless right now.

    It helps that I'm drafting a legal brief.

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    #123355 - 02/18/12 03:24 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: annette]
    islandofapples Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/20/11
    Posts: 332
    Originally Posted By: annette
    Originally Posted By: Iucounu
    Originally Posted By: annette
    If that means some people are offended, so be it.

    I rest my case.


    Yes, I don't walk on egg shells so as not to offend the easily offended.
    That's called--being healthy!

    Do I occasionally offend without meaning to? Sure. So do you.
    That's different than being intentionally cruel and posting posts that I hope will "sting others."

    I rest my case. smile


    Yes @ the egg shells thing. If you have to do that, it usually means you are in an abusive relationship!

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    #123356 - 02/18/12 03:25 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: annette]
    Iucounu Offline
    Member

    Registered: 06/02/10
    Posts: 1457
    Originally Posted By: annette
    Do I occasionally offend without meaning to? Sure. So do you. That's different than being intentionally cruel and posting posts that I hope will "sting others."

    Maybe we simply don't agree on what the meaning of "is" is. In my universe, continuing on a course of action with known consequences = intent to cause those consequences. {shrug} We could engage in sophistry over whether avoiding terms like "zombie", "weird", "glazed", etc., which are insulting to so many people (read as: the entire ND human race) when applied to their children, constitutes "walking on eggshells", but I can't think of a more useless use of my time.
    _________________________
    Striving to increase my rate of flow, and fight forum gloopiness. sick

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    #123357 - 02/18/12 03:26 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: islandofapples]
    JonLaw Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/29/11
    Posts: 2007
    Loc: The Sub-Tropics
    Originally Posted By: islandofapples
    Yes @ the egg shells thing. If you have to do that, it usually means you are in an abusive relationship!


    Is it possible to be in an abusive relationship with an Internet chatboard?

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    #123358 - 02/18/12 03:29 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: JonLaw]
    Iucounu Offline
    Member

    Registered: 06/02/10
    Posts: 1457
    Originally Posted By: JonLaw
    Is it possible to be in an abusive relationship with an Internet chatboard?

    I saw an ad for something like that on craigslist. I don't want to talk about it.
    _________________________
    Striving to increase my rate of flow, and fight forum gloopiness. sick

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    #123359 - 02/18/12 03:35 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: Iucounu]
    La Texican Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/10/10
    Posts: 1777
    Loc: South Texas
    Originally Posted By: The Matrix
    Let me tell you why youíre here. Youíre here because you know something. What you know you canít explain, but you feel it. Youíve felt it your entire life, that thereís something wrong with the world. You donít know what it is, but itís there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what Iím talking about?


    See what I mean about Great Literature giving us better words to join the generational Great Conversation?
    _________________________
    Youth lives by personality, age lives by calculation. -- Aristotle on a calendar

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