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    I've been accused of being an avid thinker from time to time, among other related accusations. If you've met me in person, you'll understand. It is time for the Gifted population of this country, children and adults, to make a stand against the oppression and discrimination towards our potential. We were all raised to believe schools can help us towards our potential, but truth is, school is a place that teaches submission to authority even if they are wrong and unjust. Schools teach us how to be controlled by society. Independant thought such as idealism and theory is not tolerated and will be represented by the system as a poor grade or test score. This country is conditioning our children into a race of drones. If you are a gifted person, you've most likely spent your life rejecting this injustice of social control. And with sorrow, I also know you have paid the price for this fight. Freedom of thought, freedom of expression, freedom of speech,.... it's all an illusion. Ask yourself a few questions; where are all the the "smart" people you grew up with? What are they doing with their life? Where are all the popular people who had good grades that you grew up with, and what are they doing with their lives? You'll be suprised to find that the popular people are the bosses over the smart people. If smart people supposedly are so well off, then why do they drop out of school? Why are they working as laborers in factories? Fact: A gifted person is less controlable in society and are actively discriminated against because of this. Currently in our country, the only chance a gifted person has in persuing their potential is to be born into a rich family because the government and the education system refuses to acknowledge giftedness as being anything other than a social power-struggle. Do you agree/disagree with this? Want to comment on the subject? Send me a message or email me at colemjm1@hotmail.com

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    Well, you said quite a lot there. Some very profound thoughts and clearly passionate emotion in that post. Here's my thoughts:

    My understanding is that the US public education system developed out of a need for literate employees during the industrial revolution. So I would have to say that to some extent I agree with you that our education system is designed to "educate into submission" so to speak. While there appear to be exceptions here and there, I would have to say that by and large our educational system produces drones, or some version thereof.

    I've heard that teachers are often driven to control the gifted students in their class because they realize that the kids know more than they do. I believe this to be true. It takes a well adjusted, well educated and well informed teacher to teach gifted kids without becoming defensive or controlling. It is a rare teacher who knows how to "teach how to learn." Most only know how to teach facts. IMO

    Interesting comment from my adult son (who fits the description of gifted underachiever) regarding my younger son's acceleration to first grade by skipping kindergarten: "What's the difference, really. I mean, someday he'll be working for a boss who didn't learn to read until he was 6 or 7." Reflective my older son's frustration with the educational system or just reality? I don't know, I just thought it was an interesting comment.


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    I agree that approximately 85% of the time, the ones in charge are the popular people rather than the smartest people. This may be especially prevalent in the public school system. Many teachers consider themselves and their own children to be gifted. The reason is that they were successful bright students who received top grades. They were probably at the same intelligence level (bright to MG on average?) as their teachers who enjoyed them as students because they felt personnel and professional validation in teaching and training them at the right level at the right age.

    Our highly, exceptionally, and profoundly gifted children are not as well liked by many teachers. No one likes to believe that their effort and expertise has no positive impact. Others simple cannot acknowledge that a child may be more (potentially) intelligent than they are.

    Most of this problem is brought on by the education experts themselves by constructing artificial concerns and very real barriers such as lock step grades and refusal to create ability groupings because someone�s feelings might get hurt. I believe that they do have a very difficult time teaching to so many different levels within one classroom! That is why many refuse to accommodate their extremely smart and twice exceptional students. Their self-imposed barriers are the reason that many of us fail to commiserate.

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    Sounds like the trick to success in life is to be both smart AND popular. (wink)

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    I did the popular thing for two years, but I felt like such a fraud. I also still have people in my hometown that I should apologize to for my obnoxious behavior and/or treatment. Now I feel like an alien because I refuse to gossip about people. We have actually alienated ourselves from �friends� because I didn�t want my kids exposed to adults who were poor role models.

    This is a little editorial, but when I grew up, no self-respecting man would be caught dead gossiping about others. Now it seems quite common. Yuck!

    I wonder if I�m doing my children a disservice by the expectation that they treat everyone well and avoid and/or �call� people who step on others. I have actually wondered if I should lower my expectations of their character standards so that they can succeed in the world.

    I do believe that authentic people can be well respected and liked, but never popular.

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    I think popularity is like maturity. A really big bunch of conflicting concepts. So I would caution against passing judgement on "popularity." I'd rather unroll it and take it apart and judge each segment on it's own merits.

    I'll start by digressing. I remember as a school-aged child figuring out that the way to be popular around me involved picking on lower status children. I remember deciding that I wasn't willing to do that, even if it mean it wouldn't be popluar. ((LOL - even if I had been willing, I doubt it would have helped much!!))

    Later when I was pregnant, I decided that I had missed out on a lot of learning by sticking to my position, and that if my own child "got her hands dirty" in the popularity game, I would try to provide guidance without demanding she stick to my position. As an adult I just started to understand that part of the whole point of being a child, is that one isn't developmentally ready (usually) to "do the right thing." Even knowing what the right thing is, is hard enough!

    Then my son was born. I totally reversed my decision.

    He seemed to me to be developmentally ready to know and do "the right thing" from a very early age, and I hold him to that standard. There are limits on his ability to appreciate how some of his comments affect other people, and I make allowances for that, but he is just-plain-not-allowed to pick on the lower status kids. He's my only child, so I don't know if his Giftedness is what changed my view, or if I just don't really have the guts to say: Go ahead, This is part of normal development.

    Now, there is status, and there is sociability. I do believe that sociability is a good thing, and should be nutured, and taught outright when needed. I believe that an outgoing, cheerful, imaginative person could be popular, perhaps not with every one, but with a rather large number of people. Some authentic people are quite sociable and have a large, strong social network. Other authentic people are not that interested in such things, and naturally will have a smaller social network. The whole point of being authentic is that you honor what you are.

    Some ways of fitting in are silly and meaninless and don't violate anyone's integrity. I do activly encourage my son to pick up on those and enjoy them. Friendliness is also,a lovely quaility. I think that some of us can be true to ourselves and be respected, liked and warmly loved quite widely, for others it's going to be a small group of people. There are advantages and disadvantages all around.

    So Jeremy, no sour grapes allowed over popularity. It's wise to value whatever people have figured out to be good at (within reason) and to doubt ourselves whenever the "all or nothing" thinking starts creeping into our minds.

    OTOH - I've started to find it quite funny that Gifted kids are so often noted to have "poor social skills" and encouraged to make great efforts to "learn to get along" with "normal" children. I've never seen a curriula for "normal" kids to learn to get along with gifted and highly gifted kids. Although just mentioning is sends my mind reeling off into low budget graphic and Paulette Panda visiting Jimmy Giraffe and how she will find ways to play that are fun for both of them. Of course the point is that we don't expect normal children to be able to do this. I bet we are wrong, actually.

    Love and More Love,
    Trinity

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    Hey Trinity, LOL. I didn't mean to give the perception of sour grapes on popularity. What I really meant was that people in power(leaders), have the 'gift' of persuation. Usually over large groups of people. This type of person controls the crowd by pleasing the crowd. However, if the crowd disagrees with the person, then the person is powerless. So here is the paradox; the crowd controls the power of the person, the person uses the crowd as one voice. The crowd manipulates the person, and the person manipulates the crowd.

    So, when a person without the 'gift' of persuation is against the crowd and their leader because of an injustice, who wins? Definately not this person. The leader is not going to give up the power over the crowd in order to serve one person. Would Bush be our president if he made a proposal that 95% of this country disagreed with during the elections? In order to persuade a leader, we must first convince the crowd. Right now, our crowd is not large enough to be worth listening to. We need to set educational examples that baits the crowd. When we have a large enough crowd, the leaders will sacrafice power if they choose not to listen.

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    ((big grin)) Cousin J -
    So the power IS in the people, and we win, by winning over people, one by one. That means we practice our social skill and polish them daily. Just because it didn't come easy to us, doesn't mean it's not worth going there.

    And history shows that "at certain time" a leader who actually Leads can be very influential - for good or for bad. Would you want a world where it was easy and common for one person to spread their will over many?

    ((Hugs))
    Cousin T


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    >>Smiling<< Cousin T -

    Yes, social skill seems to be the side-effect of most gifted people. We not only need to teach these children how to use their gifts with precision, but also use them in an unselfish way for the greater good. As for me, I struggle with socialism every day and seems to be an endless battle. Though it is uncomfortable, I force myself to learn it.

    You have a point about leaders that I didn't see. I see it now and thank you Cousin T. I have always flustered the stresses of persuading a leader in my head. Cursing myself for not having the social skills to persuade. Cursing the leader for not accepting my proposals because it goes against what others believe. This is where you come in; If this/a leader was easily convinced, then spread that will over many, the world would be worse off. Bad people would use this leader for personal gain.

    I am gifted, and cursed the same. It is difficult to explain. I feel my gift so intensly that it keeps me awake at night and gives me headaches. The intensity of my drive is so high that it feels like a constant adrenaline rush. If this is not released in some way, I become irritable/frustrated and not very easy to get along with. And if my release is interrupted, these feelings become worse. This makes learning social skills very difficult. I have never been acused of being mean, just emotionless(not true). I just experience and project it differently. I have found that if I focus all of my energy in one area, such as the gifted community, I can accomplish many great things. But not without the help and input/constructive critisizm(LOL) of others.

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    >>Smiling<<

    Dear Cousin J -
    Well done dear. If you ever what to do what I did - try to find a local group of http://www.rc.org/ It only took me about 20 years, but just think where I'll be in another 20. I tell DS10 that if he works hard at it, I expect him to be able to "boss with great love" after about 20 years of hard work. Actually I'm expecting he be there in only about 15!

    FWIW - I have to live very simply to stay on an even keel - regular excersise, no caffeen, no alcohol, soft clothing, no romantic movies for many years. I am so glad you are here with us.
    Trinity


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    Thank you SO much Cousin T,

    I visited the site and read everything. Maybe you see something in me that I don't. Through self-reflection I found that I already do these things with realizing what I'm doing(RC). My single largest frustration with "RC" is trying to help those who don't want it. I have tendancies of recognizing potential in other people, and I am deeply emotionally affected when a person wants to ignore or throw it away. What is "FWIW"? I wish I could say the same for myself....I tend to use caffeen when I'm down in the dumps. I use nicotine to keep my overactive mind at bay throughout the day so I don't those philosophical headaches. I use alcohol to slow my thought process enough in order to sleep, without it I suffer from severe insomnia. Wanna hear something funny? The movie "Good Will Hunting" disturbed me pretty bad. I teared up many times throughout the movie and was an emotional basketcase for weeks afterwards. I envied his opportunity, and I am like his character in many ways. I hate the movie because of its accuracy to my life and refuse to own it. All that over a movie? LOL. But in real life experiences, I rarely project the expected level of emotion in a given situation. I haven't shed a tear in 8.5 years from a 'real' situation, but a movie, short story, book or poem can jerk those tears right out. The Psy. Dr. I was seeing 4 years ago tried to understand all this. He told me that I was good at repressing things in my head, and I need to confront them. For the life of me I'v tried to. I just can't seem to remember. What do you think?

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