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    #123373 - 02/18/12 05:20 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: deacongirl]
    islandofapples Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/20/11
    Posts: 332
    Originally Posted By: deacongirl
    Originally Posted By: islandofapples
    We could just tell the truth.
    "You sometimes learn things more quickly than other children. Yes, that means they take longer to learn things and may seem slow to you, but it isn't polite to say that out loud. You should try to be patient with other children like that. If you tell another child that she is "slow", you'll hurt her feelings."

    I would love if my child was more tolerant than I was of the slower children, but most of the time they drove me nuts. It wasn't just that they played games "wrong"... most of my frustration stemmed from the slow pace of school. I'm hoping homeschooling and introducing her to kids of all ages will help with some of that.


    Well, you can actually explain it that way without calling someone slow. I tell my son and his friends that it may take him longer to learn things, and he has to try harder. So yes, he is slower to learn, but if adults on this forum don't get that the connotation of calling someone slow is different than that I don't know how to explain it.

    And yes, I felt the same way about the slow pace of school as a kid.


    What I mean is that the child is likely to come to the conclusion that the other child is "slow" or "slower" and I think I need to explain we shouldn't be telling other kids if we feel they are slow.

    Feeling frustrated with a slower pace or a peer who doesn't get something is an understandable feeling, you just shouldn't be sharing it out loud with the child you think is slow or talk about that child, specifically, with someone else.

    Top
    #123376 - 02/18/12 05:42 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: islandofapples]
    La Texican Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/10/10
    Posts: 1777
    Loc: South Texas
    Originally Posted By: islandofapples


    If someone stumbles in from google and doesn't get it or gets offended... then they are having a different experience in life and that is just fine.

    (I've been enjoying a glass of Sangria, so I hope this comes out right.)

    I just sipped my valentines bottle of Patron coffee bean Tequila . Um.., glass of wine too.  Annette and Island, I was going to talk to you guys too, because we're the main ones posting in this thread that are Native to the preschool forum.  Annette. I wanted to say your posts sounded just like mine when I was a new-to-the net mommy the year before last... I was all ..."and how can y'all tell me to be nice when y'all ain't being nice to me..and practice what you preach". 

    Just commiserating.  Only mine wasn't here it was at what I thought was a kind hippy mamma forum.. Eek!  Not to other mothers (me) they weren't kind.  Turned out not to be hippies either.  Just offering you a little sympathy when everybody's rudely telling you your opinion's rude.  Also, I 've posted recently that I resent how  other people's Faults are OK, but mine aren't.  I'm not sure if that's because of the global tradition of, "you're smart, so you know better but other people don't (have to).". Or if I'm over-reacting and taking it to heart too much, ie, the pain of perfectionism.   
    oMg!  I just admitted all the nonsense from my posts previous to this point were not wine-induced because they were before the nightcap.  .

    How was Y'alls Valentine? I got a basket floral arrangement with various flowers plus some roses in it. I teased the hubby- look. I got old married lady flowers. I showed him on Facebook a newlywed relative's bouquet, all red with a red balloon. Look. She she got a new wife's bouquet.
    _________________________
    Youth lives by personality, age lives by calculation. -- Aristotle on a calendar

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    #123377 - 02/18/12 05:54 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: La Texican]
    JonLaw Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/29/11
    Posts: 2007
    Loc: The Sub-Tropics
    Originally Posted By: La Texican
    I just sipped my valentines bottle of Patron coffee bean Tequila . Um.., glass of wine too.


    I'm on my third pot of coffee for today.

    Not to worry, coffee has no impact on my ability to sleep. In fact, as I sip this coffee, I'm getting sleepy. I'm going to go home and go to bed soon.


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    #123379 - 02/18/12 06:08 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: islandofapples]
    MumOfThree Offline
    Member

    Registered: 04/07/11
    Posts: 1694
    Loc: Australia
    Island of apples - I am not dumbing down my day to day experience with a gifted toddler, it's not fun, I don't enjoy it, its utterly grueling, third time round has pretty much broken me. It's isolating, difficult and unpleasant, I am not saying "look we have problems too" and trying to fit in with the other mums - my child prevents me from having any opportunity to do fit in. I never get to talk to them and discover that we have nothing in common. I am just saying I do notice she is different and regularly wish she wasn't, although rationally I know her difference will serve her well in the future.

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    #123380 - 02/18/12 06:15 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: MumOfThree]
    deacongirl Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/03/10
    Posts: 948
    Originally Posted By: MumOfThree
    Island of apples - I am not dumbing down my day to day experience with a gifted toddler, it's not fun, I don't enjoy it, its utterly grueling, third time round has pretty much broken me. It's isolating, difficult and unpleasant, I am not saying "look we have problems too" and trying to fit in with the other mums - my child prevents me from having any opportunity to do fit in. I never get to talk to them and discover that we have nothing in common. I am just saying I do notice she is different and regularly wish she wasn't, although rationally I know her difference will serve her well in the future.


    I feel your pain...thankfully mine like that is 4 and it is better now. Utterly grueling is how it was for me too. I think you can love your child uncondtionally and still be absolutely worn out from the demands of a kid like this. I know how hard it is.

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    #123384 - 02/18/12 07:07 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: La Texican]
    islandofapples Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/20/11
    Posts: 332
    Originally Posted By: La Texican
    Originally Posted By: islandofapples


    If someone stumbles in from google and doesn't get it or gets offended... then they are having a different experience in life and that is just fine.

    (I've been enjoying a glass of Sangria, so I hope this comes out right.)

    I just sipped my valentines bottle of Patron coffee bean Tequila . Um.., glass of wine too.  Annette and Island, I was going to talk to you guys too, because we're the main ones posting in this thread that are Native to the preschool forum.  Annette. I wanted to say your posts sounded just like mine when I was a new-to-the net mommy the year before last... I was all ..."and how can y'all tell me to be nice when y'all ain't being nice to me..and practice what you preach". 

    Just commiserating.  Only mine wasn't here it was at what I thought was a kind hippy mamma forum.. Eek!  Not to other mothers (me) they weren't kind.  Turned out not to be hippies either.  Just offering you a little sympathy when everybody's rudely telling you your opinion's rude.  Also, I 've posted recently that I resent how  other people's Faults are OK, but mine aren't.  I'm not sure if that's because of the global tradition of, "you're smart, so you know better but other people don't (have to).". Or if I'm over-reacting and taking it to heart too much, ie, the pain of perfectionism.   
    oMg!  I just admitted all the nonsense from my posts previous to this point were not wine-induced because they were before the nightcap.  .

    How was Y'alls Valentine? I got a basket floral arrangement with various flowers plus some roses in it. I teased the hubby- look. I got old married lady flowers. I showed him on Facebook a newlywed relative's bouquet, all red with a red balloon. Look. She she got a new wife's bouquet.


    I've found that forums with lots of moms generally have lots of judgment and other stuff flying around... but then, so do other forums I've seen. People just feel free to say things online they wouldn't say in person or in a crowd of different types of people.

    I lol'd about the newlywed roses. My bouquet came from the grocery store and includes no roses, but I don't mind. It has all my favorite colors. I cleaned a few rooms in the house for my husband's gift. He was very happy. As you know, I'm no Flylady. We're so romantic haha.




    Edited by islandofapples (02/18/12 07:07 PM)

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    #123385 - 02/18/12 07:13 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: La Texican]
    annette Offline
    Member

    Registered: 01/20/11
    Posts: 253
    Originally Posted By: La Texican
    Annette. I wanted to say your posts sounded just like mine when I was a new-to-the net mommy the year before last... I was all ..."and how can y'all tell me to be nice when y'all ain't being nice to me..and practice what you preach". 


    I prefer others to inform me when a post offends. When that has happened in this forum (and it did once), I apologized, changed my post, and the person who complained told me later that it was her own insecurity that led her to take offense.

    In this thread, I don't need to apologize, because my statement should not have been offensive to anyone with a decent vocabulary. Infants do have glazed eyes. I think it's perfectly acceptable to comment on typical development because typical development is perfectly acceptable.

    From the University of Iowa's hospital website:

    "In this state, your baby has smooth body movements and mild startles. The eyes may open and close and appear heavy lidded, dull, and glazed."
    http://www.uihealthcare.com/depts/maternitycenter/newborninfo/signals.html

    Wow. How did that get past the censors! ;p

    Was it really necessary to make a bunch of posters feel bad about their posts? I don't think it was. I think it was mean-spirited and insulting. If the complaint itself had been polite, sensitive and non-judgmental, then I wouldn't have responded. What can I say? Hypocrisy irritates me.





























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    #123386 - 02/18/12 07:15 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: deacongirl]
    annette Offline
    Member

    Registered: 01/20/11
    Posts: 253
    Originally Posted By: deacongirl
    Originally Posted By: MumOfThree
    Island of apples - I am not dumbing down my day to day experience with a gifted toddler, it's not fun, I don't enjoy it, its utterly grueling, third time round has pretty much broken me. It's isolating, difficult and unpleasant, I am not saying "look we have problems too" and trying to fit in with the other mums - my child prevents me from having any opportunity to do fit in. I never get to talk to them and discover that we have nothing in common. I am just saying I do notice she is different and regularly wish she wasn't, although rationally I know her difference will serve her well in the future.


    I feel your pain...thankfully mine like that is 4 and it is better now. Utterly grueling is how it was for me too. I think you can love your child uncondtionally and still be absolutely worn out from the demands of a kid like this. I know how hard it is.


    I feel your pain too.

    Top
    #123388 - 02/18/12 07:44 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: annette]
    annette Offline
    Member

    Registered: 01/20/11
    Posts: 253
    Originally Posted By: annette
    I think it was mean-spirited and insulting.


    Rethinking this statement, which I admit was very judgmental.
    Hah. My own hypocrisy irritates me too. ;P


    Top
    #123390 - 02/18/12 08:11 PM Re: Your perception of other same age kids? [Re: annette]
    islandofapples Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/20/11
    Posts: 332
    Originally Posted By: annette
    [quote=La Texican]

    From the University of Iowa's hospital website:

    "In this state, your baby has smooth body movements and mild startles. The eyes may open and close and appear heavy lidded, dull, and glazed."
    http://www.uihealthcare.com/depts/maternitycenter/newborninfo/signals.html

    Wow. How did that get past the censors! ;p



    Ha! I can't believe I didn't google for that. Interesting. We are observing sleepy babies!


    Edited by islandofapples (02/18/12 08:13 PM)

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