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Hi Master of None,

Highly charged children, I have to smile you are talking my language. My youngest daughter is five and sounds very similar to yours. We are definately having a confidence issue with her right now. And everything you have said about your DD applies to mine.
First, yes, I think you should have her tested if you are so inclinded. Both of our daughters were administered IQ tests (wisc for DD8 when she was 7, wppsi for DD5 when she was 4) and by a psychologist who specializes in gifted kids. I think this specialization may be important for you DD because what you are describing can be confused as ADHD in gifted children.
I think this is the best, but most expensive option. However, you can check with insurance to see if it is covered. If you lean in that direction, PM me and I will give you details on how I approached it with the insurance company.
My DD has what is called overexcitabilites. I hesitate to post just one link because there is tons of info and it might be helpful to look through it yourself. Try googling overexcitabilites, Dabrowski. Maybe you will see some descriptions that remind you of your daughter. It can be difficult for kids. I kind of liken my DD5 as a tricycle with a race car engine.
I actually have her see the child psyd. who tested her twice a month to help her learn to cope with these excitabilites, she can be quite intense and I want her to have more help than I had when I was her age.
Her test scores combined with the fact that she is getting help outside of school has really helped with the school.
I started with her teacher who basically ignored all attempts to help her in class. Finally we had a meeting with the principal, school psychologist and teacher. That's when I really feel we have started to make progress.
They were all very professional and expressed a desire to help her. We all came up with a plan that will be reasonable for her and I found them to be very accomodating.......I'm waiting to see how it all pans out.
One step at a time, I'd test to see what you are dealing with. You can't tell the future, you can't always predict if will be a crisis child. Just follow your instinct and try to help her the best you can...I can tell you there is a light at the end of the tunnel, I can see it myself.
Keep us posted and much good luck to you!!

Incog

Hi master of none!

I have two kids also:

My highly sensitive DD8 who is in 3rd grade, and my DS5 who is in 1st. It is tricky when your younger child is a huge Star Wars fan and your older one is overwhelmed by watching a Winnie the Pooh movie...

Welcome, master of none. I'm sure you'll find this forum helpful.

And Cathy A - your story reminds me of DS, who now is a huge Star Wars fan. However, at age 2, we had to leave Piglet's Big Movie (DSthen2's first movie theater movie) after the opening credits b/c DS was sobbing uncontrollably. People stopped us in the hall asking what's wrong, thinking something awful had just happened. The problem was that Piglet's Big Movie was too sad - don't remember exactly why - either it appeared that the Pooh Gang didn't seem to want to be friends with Piglet anymore, or the song the birds were singing was a sad song. (Which fit with a boy who would sob at the end of the book Good Night Moon -- maybe he thought the bunny was dead? What a cruel mother to read such a book to a baby!)

Hello master of none - I'm pretty new here too, but you will find there are many experienced and helpful parents who can probably relate to whatever situation you throw at them. My DS4 is not yet in school, but i found private testing to be great for helping us know what we're going to be up against when DS does go to school. Also, since we saw a gifted education specialist, we got very specific information and counseling about our HG+ kid.

questions - your story re: good night moon reminds me of our DS as an infant. If anyone sang "rock-a-bye baby" to him, he would start tearing up and then sobbing. When he was old enough to talk, and we heard the lullaby somewhere (certainly not from us!), he asked, "why does the baby have to fall?" So we're thinking that he understood the words even as an infant!

"DS-then-about-6/7 "This is the BEST DAY of my life!"
DD-the-about-8/9 "WE'RE GONNA DIE!!!!"-Dottie


Pretty much sums it up around here!!!!

By the way, I'm of the best day of my life variety and some of those Winnie the Pooh movies still choke me up a bit.

I

Elmopalooza was the movie to avoid in our house. I think someone does something wrong and gets their feelings hurt. I don't remember what the trigger was since we only were able to see it once even though we owned it. DS would start crying just at the name!

Welcome here.

Individual IQ and achievement testing is the way to go. It will give you more data and you will sort of know what you are dealing with I would definitely try to get one on one, see if the school will provide it for you, if not and you can afford it, have her tested. The data may help you to get more accommodations from the school.

If your teacher is cooperative and you are able to find a plan which works even if it's for 6 weeks only, then may be you and the teacher should agree to meet every 2 months to re-evaluate the situation and try to find new solutions.

Good luck and again welcome here

I've had these same thoughts, master of none. And that fear of taking those things away from my DD6 is HUGE. I'm not where you are (yet?) because my DD6 seems happy right now and isn't complaining. Confidence has been an issue for us, too, as well as overexcitabilities, but her teacher makes her feel like she's the most important kid in the class. DD6 has blossomed in certain areas because of her teacher, although I don't think she's being stretched in any subject other than maybe her reading & writing.

But I think about HSing every single day, especially because we have a university model school in our suburb that's becoming very popular. There DD6 could choose certain classes and pay for them by the class, just like in college. Elementary-aged kids go T/Th, then are home on MWF to do their work, projects, independent study, or whatever. When kids are older, they can participate in sports and activites, competing against other private schools here in Texas. So it's many of the benefits of regular school with lots of time with me for extras. It sounds pretty good, right? Yet I'm still not "there."

If your DD doesn't get what she needs, though, then certainly that fear won't hold you back in the end. You know her best, and I have no doubt that you'll make the right decision after you've balanced everything. Certainly if you decide to homeschool, there are some amazing people on this board who will be very glad to help you. And fortunately there are also a lot of amazing people who have navigated the waters of public school accommodations who can help too.

Master of none, can we get you a shorter nickname?

I'm glad you feel welcomed here, you certainly are!

Just remember, no plan you have has to be fixed. You can make changes at anytime. I haven't totally ruled out HS and things are going okay right now.

Amy,
your model school sounds really great, let us know what it's like if you decide to look into it. It sounds very progressive, which I like very much.

Incog

Jack?

Hi Amy EJ,
I don't want to push you or anything, as schools really don't always turn out to be like they say and all... but thanks for sharing that image of how school 'could' be.

((electic sparks from drooling on keyboard))
((sigh)) If this school was availible without having to move, DS would be there right now!

Grinity

Hey MON,
Don't forget to test big brother! (If you can afford it.) I say: Test one, test them all!

And about 70% of folks who take my advice are amazed and think I have special psychic powers. Hee Hee.

Are you going to be ok with the money part for testing both? Will you be able to find a tester who is exerienced with gifted kids?


Some kids are more intense- but that doesn't mean that the efforts you make are not acutally helping, KWIM?

Smiles and Welcome,
Grinity

Hi MON! I told you you'd like it here - lots of great people! (it's doodlebug from SENG)

I think I've already said, on another forum, that you should test if the testing will answer specific questions you have about your child. And it sounds like you have questions.

We did IQ, achievement and out of level testing. I think that the out of level testing is what really got the school's attention, even more than the IQ score or 98-99th% achievement scores. When you can document that your "still not in K" child is able to do some of the work that is expected of "end of the year high achieving first graders" (the description of the test that was used)it really shows that they should skip K! Perhaps that would help your school's staff really see just where your daughter is educationally.

Glad you came over!

Welcome MON!

I'm not able to offer the kind of personal advocacy experience you need. However, it sounds like you're feeling low and that's something I can relate to. Please know you're more than welcome to vent here. It's nice to have people, who are removed from the situation, contribute different perspectives. As someone who researches the heck out of something, before making a decision, I appreciate this.

If it helps to cheer you up -- I'm also a painstakingly slow eater and reader. + I like to put french fries in bean burritos and dip it in BBQ sauce.

I understand questioning your perception of your child's abilities (i.e. is he/she really that smart?), but I'm willing to bet your gut instinct is right about your child. Sometimes you have to turn down the background noise >>"Those parents are sure of themselves, and they don't see my kid as all that special."<<

I'm also sorry that you may have to gear yourself up for an advocacy challenge. This is where others here can really help (e.g. brainstorm questions, try a dry-run of your advocacy plan/speech, etc.).

Best Wishes!
Ann

No wonder you hate facing this! Sounds dismal! Is this a public school or a private one?

My feeling is that it's your job to keep the school informed of your daughter's emotional state, and their job to figure out some solutions. Obviously go to the classroom teacher first, but my guess is that you'll have to go higher right away!

Best Wishes,
Grinity

Ann's right. Use this forum and the wise and experienced people as thoroughly as you can. Write something up, gather input here, and then practice so you sound like you are more confident than you feel. School adminstrators smell insecurity and pounce on it!

Great help here!

MoN,
Welcome

Good to hear that your persistance (Not nagging) paid off on the math. I understand your feelings of whether your child is really THAT gifted and needs the special treatment or if your are just being pushy. I'm there myself on any given day. Even with the private test results, they are still not a clear cut answer to our question, but are a great place to start.

I really liked the idea of having DS make a list of his ideas and feelings to take to my next school meeting. It is coming up in about 3 weeks. I can already feel my anxiety levels rising and my stuttering getting worse...

Again welcome!

Congratulations MoN,
A Math adjustment after an email? Do you know how lucky you are? Congradulations!

I'm so praying that you get a little chance to enjoy the peace and coast, but I will reccomend that you sign your children, (both) up for IQ testing. Compared to the unusually gifted kids, there are lots of moderatly gifted kids and tons of bright ones - and your daughter's personality is such that it really really matters to her that you and the school get it right. So - use your period of calm to scrape those pennies together and get an appointment with a tester. Sure, theoretically, if the school is flexable enough, you don't need testing, but I think that there is a good chance that you will be able to move forward more comfortably as a parent after testing than without it!

If you want, send me a Private Message about where you live, and I'll see if I have 'heard good things' about any private testers near you.

Much Love and Luck,
Grinity