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    #121790 - 02/02/12 09:07 PM Re: What strangers say? [Re: sunday_driver]
    laineylewy Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 01/09/12
    Posts: 12
    Picked up our four year old from church the other day and the Sunday school teacher asked if we knew he does multiplication----um yes. Its difficult knowing how to respond. I want to say... don't they all? But obviously I don't.

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    #121794 - 02/03/12 12:49 AM Re: What strangers say? [Re: Mamabear]
    Madoosa Offline
    Member

    Registered: 02/20/11
    Posts: 710
    Loc: South Africa
    Originally Posted By: Mamabear
    You know, most often I try to use generic responses like, "She is a busy girl" or "She keeps me on my toes", but there was an incident a couple of weeks ago when a lady made a snide comment about my dd reading her kindle as we were walking in a store. I had to remind dd a couple of times to pay attention so as not to run into other people. Well, she did bump into a lady. She said excuse me and started to move on (again with the book in her face)and the lady said to me,"You really shouldn't allow her to be so interested in books!" I said, "Yeah, I know...someone should call CPS." Forutnately, the remark took her off guard and she turned and walked away.



    this had me laughing out loud!! lol
    _________________________
    Mom to 3 gorgeous boys: Aiden (8), Nathan (7) and Dylan (4)

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    #121795 - 02/03/12 01:01 AM Re: What strangers say? [Re: laineylewy]
    Madoosa Offline
    Member

    Registered: 02/20/11
    Posts: 710
    Loc: South Africa
    Originally Posted By: laineylewy
    Picked up our four year old from church the other day and the Sunday school teacher asked if we knew he does multiplication----um yes. Its difficult knowing how to respond. I want to say... don't they all? But obviously I don't.


    bwhahaha! I also often feel like that. yesterday at school the assistant in Nathan's class told me - did you know he can read? I was like, umm is this not a school for gifted kids?? lol but yeah I just smiled and said "it's cool hey?" she was very enthusiastic and agreed totally with me
    _________________________
    Mom to 3 gorgeous boys: Aiden (8), Nathan (7) and Dylan (4)

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    #121799 - 02/03/12 05:17 AM Re: What strangers say? [Re: sunday_driver]
    kikiandkyle Offline
    Member

    Registered: 01/23/12
    Posts: 83
    I usually just say 'no idea where she got that from', same as when strangers think its ok to come over and start talking to her about her red hair, or her being tall, or whatever thing it was today that they thought they needed to tell me. What is it about stranger danger these people don't understand?! Go talk to your own kids!

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    #121800 - 02/03/12 05:31 AM Re: What strangers say? [Re: sunday_driver]
    sydness Offline
    Member

    Registered: 06/07/11
    Posts: 259
    A stranger in a bookstore was talking to my the 2 year old girl and her own 5or 6 year old. She asked my dd what grade she was in. I was within earshot and saw my dd get quiet. The woman kept asking. My dd told her she was two. The woman laughed really hard and found me. She said "your dd told me she is two!" I was annoyed and said "she is two". The woman frowned and mumbled something about why people lie about their ages. I do have to mention my dd was extremely tall and verbal, mature and friendly. Lol. And here the woman thought she had found just the right friend for her dd!

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    #121916 - 02/04/12 02:27 AM Re: What strangers say? [Re: sunday_driver]
    MumOfThree Offline
    Member

    Registered: 04/07/11
    Posts: 1694
    Loc: Australia
    Mmmm, yesterday I had someone ask me if #3 was three, I can't remember how she worded it but her question was clearly "how much past three?". She boggled her eyes at me when I said "two at the end of the month".

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    #121937 - 02/04/12 08:43 AM Re: What strangers say? [Re: sunday_driver]
    bgbarnes Offline
    Member

    Registered: 01/29/10
    Posts: 72
    My ex- SIL was an expert in reading- in fact wrote reading curriculum for a school district. Eventually my parents and I had to edit all of our conversations and be super careful about anything related to my son around her but I can't stop my son from being who he is and would never want to. My ds is a prolific reader( bordering on obsessive- he has to have book with him at all times :)). He reads way above his reading level, as I'm sure most of your kids do- we realized we had to censor around her when I asked my SIL for reading suggestions for books that are at his level but content appropriate her response was- you should really just keep him reading what his peers read for fear of social implications. Seriously from a reading expert and curriculum writer in my own family??? Needless to say we stopped talking about reading with her or anything to do with his accomplishments with her. Before i knew we should not ask her- there was one book he was dying to read- I asked her about it- she said- I know he is smart but there is now way he will understand that book- she said- that is a junior high book and he is only 7....I decided not to listen to her let him read it because I listened to my Mommy gut- her "social implications" comment came shortly after that one. I realized she was not going to understand or be helpful. The look on her face at the next family function when he went on and on about his anew favorite book that he had read a couple times by that point ( the one she said he would not understand) was priceless. On a positive note, recently a junior high teacher saw him at a book store( half priced books is our friend) and initiated a conversation with him as we were discussing books. He is rather passionate and remembers every detail of every book he has ever read- so I am sure to hear us is entertaining. She asked him all sorts of questions and got book recommendations for her 7th and 8th graders( ds is in 3rd) She said she hoped to run into us again and wishes she had the opportunity to teach someone like him. She even told me- you know ther are schools where you can have him graduate high school early and go to college in high school- right? It was so refreshing to run into someone who wanted to nurture his intellect!!!! She was so positive and excited about his reading and intellect. She told him your a little genius aren't you. My ds immediately started spouting statistics about the percentage of the population that are truly "geniuses". She laughed and said and I believe you are on of them- he smiled and made his day. Amazing what a stranger can do how a family member can attempt to shut you down.

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    #121945 - 02/04/12 10:44 AM Re: What strangers say? [Re: sunday_driver]
    triplejmom Offline
    Member

    Registered: 07/30/11
    Posts: 131
    A couple of parents I know were talking about changing curriculum of prek/k standards that is about to arrive in the school and how the expectation of reading shortly into the K year was a bit much. I asked them why they thought the expectation was too much for that age group and their response was "just because your children are weird and can doesn't mean the rest of the normal population should be expected too"

    Yet strangers at the bookstore who see my DS8 in the adult section picking up books think its great and say nothing bad about it at all. They have been known to sit and talk with him about the book selections and then after comment how it was like talking to another adult ( but not in a rude way that bus parents would comment about it )

    I've gotten the " he will never understand that book " comment many times bg. Especially from school librarians! Normally I just smile and say, all those AR points didn't come from reading Cat in a Hat wink

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    #121950 - 02/04/12 11:29 AM Re: What strangers say? [Re: triplejmom]
    aculady Offline
    Member

    Registered: 12/31/10
    Posts: 1040
    Originally Posted By: triplejmom
    A couple of parents I know were talking about changing curriculum of prek/k standards that is about to arrive in the school and how the expectation of reading shortly into the K year was a bit much. I asked them why they thought the expectation was too much for that age group and their response was "just because your children are weird and can doesn't mean the rest of the normal population should be expected too"


    I think they may have this attitude in this specific situation because if the standard is that kids should be doing this at age 5, and their kid isn't, it means that either they did something wrong as parents, or that their child has a problem. No parent wants to believe either of those things (even if one or both are true), so some defensiveness is, perhaps, understandable. They absolutely shouldn't have referred to your child as weird, though: that was totally uncalled for.


    Edited by aculady (02/04/12 11:30 AM)
    Edit Reason: Davidson doesn't use the same formatting codes as reddit.

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    #121952 - 02/04/12 11:42 AM Re: What strangers say? [Re: Dude]
    Cricket2 Offline
    Member

    Registered: 05/11/09
    Posts: 2172
    Loc: Colorado
    Originally Posted By: Dude
    Originally Posted By: ABQMom
    I think the one I find most annoying is when someone describes any of my kids as "freakishly smart". A compliment and insult all in one.

    I have found that other parents, strangers and kids are much more comfortable with the extreme talents with my 2e son than they were with my high gifted son who was gifted in all exceptionalities tested. Seems human nature is more willing to embrace superiority when it is also served up with struggle in something else. It's ok to be able to recite from memory, including side effects, complete audio books at the age of three if that same child has a speech disorder.


    A popular defense mechanism is for people to generalize all HG+ individuals as severely handicapped in some other way... ie "Rain Man," "Revenge of the Nerds," etc. They accept the genius of Stephen Hawking because he's in a wheelchair. Einstein flunked math. Da Vinci hacked off his own ear. Etc, etc.

    So yeah, if you're not showing off the ways in which your child is tragically flawed, you're threatening their view of the universe, and people don't tend to like that very much.

    Yes, and we've seen the unfortunate playing out of this in using one child in the family who is less obvious about her giftedness being downplayed to make the other child okay. For instance, my 2e dd isn't as obvious about her gifts and isn't grade skipped so I've had parents who are rather competitive downplay her as lesser than her sister. It seems to make them feel okay that one of my kids is smart if the other isn't that far out there (although dd11 may actually be more able). That is really hurtful understandably.
    _________________________
    Study Strategies for Accelerated Learners

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