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    #117218 11/29/11 07:07 PM
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    So.....how do you all handle the very tricky Santa situation?? My 6 year old is on the fence.... All questions point to disbelief.... "how come there is no North Pole flag in my flags of the world book" "why don't people just go to target, if Santa goes there?" and on and on......
    I want to keep the magic alive!

    Lukemac #117223 11/29/11 07:18 PM
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    DS then 5 when asked what he thought about Santa...

    "I choose to believe!"


    Shari
    Mom to DS 10, DS 11, DS 13
    Ability doesn't make us, Choices do!
    Lukemac #117224 11/29/11 07:19 PM
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    I think that is what is happening here.... Time to bust out The Polar Express!!!!

    Lukemac #117228 11/29/11 08:17 PM
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    My DS8 says " While you know I don't believe in Santa, I'll say he's real if I get presents from him under the tree still. I wouldn't want to get less than my little brothers just because I don't believe in Santa " lol Same goes for the tooth fairy...if it means he'll wake up with a buck under his pillow, he'll say anything wink

    Lukemac #117230 11/29/11 08:36 PM
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    DS7 adamantly doesn't believe in the tooth fairy. ("I know it's you, Mom!") That doesn't keep him from enjoying the experience of putting a tooth under his pillow at bedtime and getting a dollar in the morning.

    When he was three, and asked whether fairies were real, I said they aren't (take THAT, Tinkerbell!). Like a good giftie, he extrapolated that to the tooth fairy.

    We're Jewish, so Santa isn't an issue for us.

    Lukemac #117231 11/29/11 08:44 PM
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    I am pretty sure dd5 has figured it out as she's hesitant when she speaks about Santa. However, we took her to see Arthur Christmas last week - it's a new English movie, I assume it's on in the States? It gives a wonderful account of how the current Santa (there is of course generation after generation of the Claus family...) gets the job done - complete with a ninja elf army and ingenious gadgets. Dd LOVED it.


    "If children have interest, then education will follow" - Arthur C Clarke
    Lukemac #117237 11/29/11 10:15 PM
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    We saw Arthur Christmas last week too and I enjoyed it much more than I expected. The part I really liked regarding the Santa issue though, was Arthur's determination to get the little girl her gift and says several times, it doesn't matter who brings it, it just matters that every child gets a present from Santa. I thought that was a very clever way of putting it.

    DS8 is still dedicated to the idea of Santa, although I fear the days are numbered. He said to me the other day, "You know how I know that Santa is real? Because we can see him from the satellites." NORAD has a website that "tracks" Santa that I showed him when he was little. The fact that he was searching for evidence suggests to me that perhaps is on to it but doesn't want to admit it. But now I have two myths to deal with: Santa and the idea that one can trust information that comes from the government. wink

    When I was a child I found my Santa letters packed in a box in the garage. I was probably 7ish. But I never told my parents I found them and continued to pretend for several years after that. I just loved the Christmas magic and still do! smile

    Lukemac #117238 11/29/11 10:29 PM
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    With two older siblings, my youngest never had the whole believing in Santa experience. The year the movie Elf came out, he was still pretty little but loved the film. The next day we were in the mall, where he spied Santa with a row of kids lined up to sit in his lap. Before I could stop him, my son pointed at Santa and blurted (quite loudly), "You are not the real Santa. You are a fake! You smell of beef and cheese!"

    I will never forget the looks of horror from parents as they clapped their hands over their kids' ears.

    I think we sowed seeds of doubt in quite a few kids that year.

    Lukemac #117239 11/29/11 10:37 PM
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    Although we didn't have Target when I was a kid, that concept is what did it for me - obviously Santa's elves couldn't make the exact same gift basket I wanted at the store. If your DS is figuring out that "Santa" goes to Target and there's really just an ocean under the North Pole, I say it's time! I remember being quite proud of myself for figuring it out. And the magic of Christmas was still there, even though I no longer believed. My DS6 quizzed me about the tooth fairy (I can tell he knows deep down it's not true), but as I quizzed him back, it became obvious that he DIDN'T want to know the truth. So I didn't tell him. It sounds like your DS really wants to know the truth; he can still have magical Christmases even without Santa.

    Lukemac #117240 11/29/11 10:51 PM
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    It is funny to me, though, how often they avoid asking the question straight out. They ask all kinds of other questions, but lots of times don't just come out and ask you "Is Santa real?" This suggests to me that they do want to keep it going.

    My DS5, however, has already straight out asked me about Santa (in the middle of Arthur Christmas actually!) but I just avoided the question for now. Not sure what I'm going to do with that one because he is my overly imaginative kid who has on occasion worried me that his fantasies are so real to him he can't tell the difference. Lately, though, he has started asking about whether (usually scary) things are real as a way, I think, to ground himself. I unequivocally denounce vampires, zombies, and werewolves as made up stories because he was terrified. He was also completely freaked out about leprechauns at one point (which are creepier than they are given credit for!) In this context, the whole Santa question is more complicated for me.

    Lukemac #117246 11/30/11 06:27 AM
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    I am Jewish and my husband is not. We celebrate both Hannukah and Christmas. As a kid I knew Santa didn't visit my house but he did my best friend's house. I would look out mu window watching for him! Both my kids dd8 and ds6 (today!) still believe in Santa and the toothfairy. Neither has asked questions. They know that the Santa's they see at the mall are Santa helpers. I even set u videos last year and this year from Santa at this website http://www.portablenorthpole.tv/home .

    Lukemac #117248 11/30/11 07:35 AM
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    Ds8 has said a few times that Santa isn't real- but he doesn't push the issue. I reply with a "Really?", and that's as far as it's gone so far. I think he likes to pretend that he believes, just to keep me happy wink

    Lukemac #117254 11/30/11 07:59 AM
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    Wow. How timely. Just last night DD6 cornered me on the issue of the tooth fairy. She said, "Tell me the truth." She said her cousin had told her there was none and that his mom had shown him a booklet full of his old teeth (ratcheting up the SIL several levels of creepy). Honestly, I couldn't stop chuckling, so that might have been enough answer right there. But I asked her, "What do you think?", and she decided the tooth fairy was real. Then I changed the subject.

    This came maybe a week after she had confronted me on Santa (but not with "Tell me the truth" earnestness), saying she'd heard it from her friends, one of whom is 10. On that occasion, I told her a bald-faced lie.

    DW and I talked about it last night after the tooth fairy conversation, and we've decided to break the news to her. She looks to us as her reference for what's what, and I don't want to lose that trust. DW is also worried that she's having arguments with her friends about this stuff that will make her feel foolish later.

    But I'm also confident that DD doesn't really want to know. I've always told her "There is no magic, only tricks." And time and again when she has questioned the nature of Santa, and I explained it away as magic, I could see her confronting the two conflicting pieces of information, and I was totally prepared to hear her blurt out her disbelief. But when that moment of decision arrived, after several minutes of Q&A, and the conflict was written on her face, she'd abruptly change the subject. She's perfectly happy to accept a little cognitive dissonance for the magic of Santa.

    Last edited by Dude; 11/30/11 08:00 AM.
    Lukemac #117255 11/30/11 08:06 AM
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    LOL- this IS timely!

    Yesterday DS4 started in on doubting too- He said that Santa's sleigh couldn't really fly, that it must just run along the ground, as reindeer really couldn't fly, could they? He's also started saying that Santa couldn't really get down the chimney either,....he's not really denounced him yet, but I'm kind of expecting it...

    FWIW, I was the horrible neighbor that told the other kids next door at age 5 that it really was your parents, not Santa. Uh oh.
    I remember not feeling surprised when I figured it out, just more like I knew it was 'pretend' all along in the name of fun. Oopsie to ruining the neighbor's fun! urk.

    Lukemac #117257 11/30/11 08:10 AM
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    When ds7 was around 4 or 5, he asked me outright if the Easter Bunny was real. I suspected that he knew the truth, but was simply looking for confirmation. I told him that I would always tell him the truth, and would about this too, but that he had to be absolutely sure he WANTED the truth before he asked questions like this. He said that he wanted the truth, so I told him that the Easter Bunny was not a real. He broke out with "I KNEW it", and never looked back.

    Speechie #117261 11/30/11 08:18 AM
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    Originally Posted by Speechie
    FWIW, I was the horrible neighbor that told the other kids next door at age 5 that it really was your parents, not Santa. Uh oh.
    I remember not feeling surprised when I figured it out, just more like I knew it was 'pretend' all along in the name of fun. Oopsie to ruining the neighbor's fun! urk.

    I had two older brothers, one by four years, so I honestly don't remember a time when I believed in Santa. But I am the kid who sat down in Santa's lap at the kids' Christmas party at the local American Legion, and let out a loud and surprised, "HI, Uncle Kent!"

    Lukemac #117265 11/30/11 08:29 AM
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    We've always told our kids the 'Santa' in the mall isn't the Real Santa. That the Santas in the malls are helpers, since the real Santa is very busy getting ready for Christmas.

    I'm coming to the realization that we've setup Santa a little to realistically! DS7 is still 100% a believer. I am afraid this year I might have to tell him the truth. He's totally convinced he's going to get something rather expensive for Christmas, and I'm not sure how else to explain why $$ would matter to Santa.


    ~amy
    Lukemac #117270 11/30/11 09:59 AM
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    The other day I sat down with my kid and said that adults have imaginary friends, too. That we get so excited about our imaginary friends that we work really hard to make it seem real. And he thought that was really neat (he loves his imaginary friends and was delighted to learn that we have them, too).

    So then I asked, "What is more likely: that there is a man who never dies who lives at the North Pole, and who flies on a sleigh pulled by reindeer, and comes down one's chimney (without being burnt) and leaves gifts--or that it pretend?"

    And he laughed, and said, "Obviously it's more likely to be REAL!"

    So I did a quick recovery and laughed with him, and then told him about an imaginary friend we (his parents) have.

    Guess he doesn't want to know, and so onward with the magic of pretending!

    Lukemac #117284 11/30/11 01:24 PM
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    Just another point of view: "Why Yes, Kiddo, There Really Isn�t a Santa Claus"

    http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/parents/?p=174

    As a non-Christmas family, we don't have any attachment to Santa, but I'd like to believe that this is how I'd answer the question.

    Lukemac #117289 11/30/11 01:47 PM
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    When DD8 asked at age 6, we told her that Santa was a special kind of thing and that he was real if you believed in him. We were trying to find a compromise between telling her the truth and letting her still believe if she wanted to.

    Her response: Okay, then I don't believe in Santa but I AM going to believe in magic. (She was deep into Harry Potter at the time.)

    Lukemac #117291 11/30/11 02:05 PM
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    My Mom was extremely creative at explaining away the inconsistencies in the Santa theory.

    BUT...

    In 3rd grade the music teacher at my school asked a mixed class of 3rd and 4th graders "Who still believes in Santa Claus?" I started to put my hand up, but considered the implications of that question as I did. Then I put my hand back down.

    I do remember reasoning that in case Santa didn't exist, when I had a child of my own I would put presents under the tree for them "from Santa" for their first Christmas. Then I'd know the truth for future years based on whether there were presents under the tree that I didn't put there.

    Lukemac #117337 12/01/11 02:23 AM
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    I got asked the question last week from DS4 and despite a bit of hedging and asking what he thought he kept saying "but is Santa really real. Tell me mum". So in the end I said no he is not but explained that lots of kids believe he is and if we join in and pretend he is there will be more presents under the tree. He was happy with that. This week he is talking about putting carrots out for the reindeer so the magic lives on...(phew)

    epoh #117347 12/01/11 07:09 AM
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    Originally Posted by epoh
    We've always told our kids the 'Santa' in the mall isn't the Real Santa. That the Santas in the malls are helpers, since the real Santa is very busy getting ready for Christmas.

    I'm coming to the realization that we've setup Santa a little to realistically! DS7 is still 100% a believer. I am afraid this year I might have to tell him the truth. He's totally convinced he's going to get something rather expensive for Christmas, and I'm not sure how else to explain why $$ would matter to Santa.

    This time of year always makes me a little sad, to hear so many don't believe in the magic of the world. There ARE so many things science cannot explain and, in a humanistic sense, I believe science itself is magic. Life is magic to me. So I believe in ALL KINDS of "magic" and encourage my children to do the same. Now, plants don't grow by magic, they use choloropyhll...but there ARE magic people and I wish other people who don't believe, would keep it to themselves and not tell MY kids, lol!

    DD8 and DD4.5 know ALL about Santa. The Elf on the Shelf comes to visit us...we watch The Polar Express a bunch of times...We also echo the "mall Santa is a helper" philosophy. As the holidays approach, I point out white bearded men and tell my kids that might be the REAL Santa, in disguise, out getting toy ideas. Target and other stores have the same things as Santa because sometimes Santa contracts with the original manufacturer, like generic cereals come from the same factory...Santa doesn't ALWAYS bring EVERYTHING you ask for, moms and dads talk to Santa and ask if it's ok to bring you expensive or living things, like puppies. In our house, Santa only brings one gift per child, it's not wrapped (so no matching paper problem). Santa tends to bring something they REALLY want (and asked him for) that is not overly extravagant but something maybe I've said no to a dozen times when asked previously. Santa and parents together decide what you really need, not just want...hth epoh wink

    I think it really comes down to a question of whether you believe in magic or not. I have no problem admitting I do. My kids do too. Butter is waiting for that Hogwarts letter, they build fairy houses outside at every opportunity and wouldn't DREAM of touching the elf. They also believe (but are not scared of) witches, werewolves, vampires, zombies, etc...I think a fantasy life and magic are just as important as other things we fill our children with, that their creativity and imaginations need nurturing too...

    Oh and of course, Santa's workshop, etc are all hidden from view by a cloaking device type thing, which only had to happen fairly recently, with planes and all.


    I get excited when the library lets me know my books are ready for pickup...
    Lukemac #117354 12/01/11 08:22 AM
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    DD has seemed to know that Santa is a fiction since about 5, but prefers to still pretend. I know this because for a while she was begging me to tell her the truth, and when I finally caved and said "Okay, do you REALLY want to know? He..." she hastily cut me off and said "Okay, okay, don't tell me after all."

    2giftgirls #117363 12/01/11 11:19 AM
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    Originally Posted by 2giftgirls
    [quote=epoh]
    I think it really comes down to a question of whether you believe in magic or not. I have no problem admitting I do. My kids do too. Butter is waiting for that Hogwarts letter, they build fairy houses outside at every opportunity and wouldn't DREAM of touching the elf. They also believe (but are not scared of) witches, werewolves, vampires, zombies, etc...I think a fantasy life and magic are just as important as other things we fill our children with, that their creativity and imaginations need nurturing too...

    My mom believes in ghosts, and demons, and angels, and just about anything else you can think of (UFOs). As a child, I also believed; and for me, it WAS scary. I appreciate the magic of Christmas, but I don't see a benefit to pretending fake scary things actually exist. I certainly would have preferred to grow up more founded in reality.

    Also, when my bipolar sister began cutting herself as a teenager she told my mother that a demon cut her in her sleep. My mom believed her, and thus my sister didn't get the help she needed as early as she should have.

    Lukemac #117369 12/01/11 12:37 PM
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    Yeah, I don't see a happy fantasy life and a grounding in reality as in conflict with each other. The whole point of fantasy life is that it's fantasy. If you really believe it, it's not fantasy, is it? It's your reality.

    We've always been quick to help DD sort out what's real and what isn't, with the only exceptions being Santa and the Tooth Fairy (and the latter officially ended last night), and honestly, I think it removes a TON of anxiety on her part. Yet despite having known for years that there's no such thing as magic, she still loves Harry Potter (and made a darling Hermione Granger on Halloween).

    Last night her imagination was on a roll, as she proposed a "realer" (a machine that takes in fake things and makes them real) and having a "future brain" (sees the future) within about 10 minutes of each other.

    So yeah, the fantasy realm is alive and well in her brain. DD is also happy to entertain the ideas of werewolves, vampires, and zombies, but there's no reason to even suspect there's any fear involved, because she knows full well they're all imaginary.

    DAD22 #117380 12/01/11 02:49 PM
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    Originally Posted by DAD22
    My mom believes in ghosts, and demons, and angels, and just about anything else you can think of (UFOs). As a child, I also believed; and for me, it WAS scary. I appreciate the magic of Christmas, but I don't see a benefit to pretending fake scary things actually exist. I certainly would have preferred to grow up more founded in reality.

    Also, when my bipolar sister began cutting herself as a teenager she told my mother that a demon cut her in her sleep. My mom believed her, and thus my sister didn't get the help she needed as early as she should have.

    Part of the problem in life is being able to figure out which real scary things exist and which fake scary things don't exist.

    Lukemac #117382 12/01/11 03:15 PM
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    My oldest did not go for the idea of Santa and soon started writing letters to the tooth fairy, "Dear Toothfairy (Mom) please can I keep my tooth." It was difficult as a mom with other parents whose kids were all into it. My kiddo has always been the logical one. She would state all the reasons why there could not be a Santa. Parents were mean about it and expected my youngster to be silent. I did not. I am not sure how you bridge that gap but logical kids have the right to their opinion. She had quite the slew of imaginary friends, but never believed them to be real. I also do not equate the belief or non-belief in Santa or the toothfairy with the scope of imagination. I do subscribe to honesty with my kid and securing her trust that I answer her questions honestly. As far as I can tell it has paid off for the big questions of middle school, which I still answer honestly. She brings them to me. Those are life and death kind of answers that she needs the correct information, not what her peers tell her, and they tell her some pretty off the wall incorrect stuff!

    Lukemac #117386 12/01/11 04:42 PM
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    When DD had a friend say she didn't believe in Santa I made sure she knew that *I* do believe in him. Of course there had to be a bit of logic worked into the story. I explained his complicated delivery system (a series of chutes running through the center of the earth with distribution points all over the world. The elves have to make sure all the chutes are filled with toys and gifts - this is even more important than making the toys because if necessary Santa can buy them in stores) and the mechanism that makes it look like Santa's Village is just covered by a sheet of ice in case any spy planes come looking for it. DH and I have told her that we think Santa and Mrs. Clause have the best jobs in the world and I REALLY wish I could have Mrs. Clause's job - baking cookies and just trying to make people happy. What could be better than that? When we saw "Santa's Reindeer" at a winter amusement park a couple of days after Christmas we explained that they were there on vacation recuperating from Christmas. They only had a couple of weeks off, though, and then they all have to head back to the North Pole to get started on next year. "It takes most of the year for the elves to fill those chutes you know."

    Anyway, DD has a great imagination so I may never know if/when she stops believing because I am sure she will continue to play along, just as we play along with her. When she recently found a bag with tiny teeth and a couple of gold coins she asked DH if they were her teeth. Without missing a beat DH said "They can't be yours - the Tooth Fairy took yours." I thought that was the end of all of this fun but nope - she happily put her next tooth on her bedside table for the Tooth Fairy. Maybe it was that gold pixie dust sprinkled all over that convinced her the Tooth Fairy really came...

    Oh - and she decided this summer that DH must secretly work for the Easter Bunny. Not sure how she came to that conclusion but we are playing along. This age doesn't last forever and once the magic is gone it will be gone for good. I want her - and us - to enjoy it as long as possible.

    Lukemac #117388 12/01/11 05:09 PM
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    I think too that it really depends on the kind of kid you have as to how and when you tell. My dd is very rational and logical. She likes the idea of magic, but she's said since she was 3 that she doesn't believe in it. She told me at 4 she didn't believe in the tooth fairy after her second tooth fell out and demanded I let her know who it was. She's seemed doubtful about Santa for the last couple of years, but she's tentatively going along with it for now. Every now and again she lets slip about what my husband or I might be getting her for Christmas when in the past all her presents have come from Santa (which is what happened in both my husband's family and my own - wish I'd known about this one gift from Santa thing!) When dd asks outright about Santa, I will tell her.

    If I had a different kind of kid, one who loved that kind of deep fantasy stuff, I'd happily play along for as long as they seemed to want it. In our case I think dd's too excited about the how facinating (and 'magical') the 'real' world is. We've talked about the fact that other kids her age do believe in the tooth fairy and she is very sensitive to that (and seems to understand that adults like to think she believes in the tooth fairy too). As an early and liberal shedder of teeth I've watched her play along with the whole tooth fairy thing many times.

    Flower I love 'Dear Toothfairy (Mom)...' - hilarious! I completely agree with you that not believing has anything to do with imagination. Dd has an extraordinary imagination - she just knows it's, well, imaginary.

    Last edited by Giftodd; 12/01/11 05:10 PM.

    "If children have interest, then education will follow" - Arthur C Clarke
    Lukemac #117400 12/01/11 09:21 PM
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    absolutely everyone has the right th their belief, even the non believers wink I don't expect kids to be quiet exactly, but I guess I wish parents would stress that everyone has different ideas about it, that's fine... My kids believe...I guess I wish other kids would just say "I don't believe" and not things like "Santa is your parents." Just like I don't argue with religious people...

    Butter told some friends last year that God was boring and they should go back to worshiping the Greek gods, who are more interesting...I DID tell her to not say things like that because I actually thought it was a little disrespectful/dismissive of her friend's beliefs...initially they were just curious why she didn't go to church with them...but I was worried that if their religious belief is literal (as mine was at that age) they would be anxious about not seeing her in heaven when they die...it caused quite the stir in the classroom...

    Also, she has never had a fear of the magical scary type things. Now she believes vampires are real, but Frankenstein is a made up story...either way, she's not afraid...I agree, if there is fear involved and your child is more of the kind, I guess some want to say logical...I want to say concrete, but I think that implies a lack of imagination, which I agree, is NOT a prerequisite to creativity or imagination...maybe literal is the word?

    I can't go back and see who had the bipolar sister...obviously that is completely dysfunctional and I would say not representative of my child's perceptions. That's really sad actually and I wonder if your mom might have had undiagnosed mental illness as well. There are still people who seek exorcisms for things like epilepsy...


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    Lukemac #117407 12/02/11 01:49 AM
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    Ohh the God discussions in school were really difficult. My kiddo was told she was going to go to hell and all the terrible things that were going to happen to her. She retaliated with a lot of logical reasonable answers but she was hurt. Her friends were really scared for her and it was a terrible time for a bit in the classroom. The Santa thing is so hard. I think respect has to be in every conversation, but kids are kids and are needing to learn how to do that...from both those who believe to those who don't. The kids I think get to battle it out between themselves if it is respectful. I have found some parents astonishingly disrespectful to my child's innocent respectful statements that I think their behavior only further confirmed my kiddos beliefs. I think bright children are often asked to be quiet. "let the other kids have an opportunity to answer..." or their answers are to complicated for the kind of question asked. I think there is a difference between a religious difference and the difference about something that ultimately will be discovered to not exist. If the kids get to spend time talking about Santa this and Santa that... a non-believing child should not have to be dishonest about their views. IMHO if my kiddo can influence a child not to believe then that child was ready not to believe. I am not advocating for my child or a non-believing child to go on a crusade to convert kids, but just equal space in the dialogue. I am also talking about kids that are around the same age and are interacting as peers.

    I love what Butter said about the Greek Gods. My kiddo went through a time that she would have said exactly the same thing. She really wanted to believe in the Greek Gods for a bit and Hogwarts and and and....

    2giftgirls #117408 12/02/11 01:50 AM
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    Originally Posted by 2giftgirls
    absolutely everyone has the right th their belief, even the non believers wink I don't expect kids to be quiet exactly, but I guess I wish parents would stress that everyone has different ideas about it, that's fine... My kids believe...I guess I wish other kids would just say "I don't believe" and not things like "Santa is your parents." Just like I don't argue with religious people...
    Well, this is a tricky area. What you have to understand is that what some of us believe is that truth is important. I don't go out looking for arguments with religious people, but if they ask, or if they make an assertion in front of me that I don't agree with, I'm going to say what I think and I'm not going to hedge it round with "but your views are equally valid" if I don't think that. In this case, there's really no doubt about the truth - "Santa" is your parents, and the kids who are being brought up to think otherwise are being lied to. Now, in our society, this kind of lie falls in the category of things that parents are legally permitted to do to their children. That doesn't mean, however, that other parents have to think it's OK, morally. There are many things that parents are permitted to do to their children that I personally think are morally wrong, and actually, this is one of them. This is why, while I have tried - for his sake and his friends' sakes - to make sure that DS is aware that other people's parents may have lied to them, and why, and that they might be upset if he told them the truth, I'm not willing to go further than that to accommodate those people.


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    flower #117420 12/02/11 07:36 AM
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    Originally Posted by flower
    Ohh the God discussions in school were really difficult. My kiddo was told she was going to go to hell and all the terrible things that were going to happen to her. She retaliated with a lot of logical reasonable answers but she was hurt. Her friends were really scared for her and it was a terrible time for a bit in the classroom.

    DD6 kept going round and round on this with the kid across the street, who goes to a Catholic school. I finally told DD that the two of them didn't really know anything on the subject except what they'd been told by their parents, so until she'd had time to learn more and make up her own mind, it's best to let it go for now. And I topped it off by telling her that my mom had told me something very different, and I'd later decided she was wrong... much, much later.

    Lukemac #117422 12/02/11 08:25 AM
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    We live in an extremely diverse area and DD has friends of literally every race and religion I can imagine. I have explained to her "Different people believe different things and that's ok. It doesn't mean one person is right and one person is wrong - just that they believe different things. When you get older you will decide what you believe in and that's fine too." This has come in handy over and over again - why does this friend's mother wear a hijab or that one's father wear a yarmulke, why are these 2 women married to each other, why does that friend wear a cross and talk so much about Jesus, etc. And yes, she most certainly understands that not everyone believes in Santa - and that is ok too. She doesn't try to change their beliefs and is being raised to respect the differences in people.

    On a similar vein to debunking Santa DD has become a "little sister" to one of the teams at DH's university and has grown up with the team mascot. A couple of years ago an older friend, probably 8 at the time, told her he was "just a guy in a costume." DD was sad at first but then started telling other little kids the same thing. I asked her not too - it was much more fun for them if they could just think of him as a big, friendly bobcat. She understood and never told another kid. I have to say the only time I ever really got offended was when a ballet teacher asked her to "kiss Jesus" when DD asked about the crucifix she was wearing. That was an adult disrespecting whatever our family may or may not believe in - not a child passing along "grown up information."

    ColinsMum #117429 12/02/11 09:22 AM
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    Originally Posted by ColinsMum
    Well, this is a tricky area. What you have to understand is that what some of us believe is that truth is important.

    Truth is also catastrophic (as in catastrophe theory).

    Just remember that you may "cause equilibria to appear or disappear, or to change from attracting to repelling and vice versa, leading to large and sudden changes of the behaviour of the system."

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catastrophe_theory

    Lukemac #117461 12/02/11 06:02 PM
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    I am sure DS7 has been stringing me along for years. He always asks me if Santa will give him a particular item before writing to Santa. And this year he refuses to go see Santa.

    Oh, well. I tried.

    Lukemac #117526 12/04/11 03:42 PM
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    My kids still believe in Santa, though my just turned 6 year old is starting to question it. I still believe in Santa sort of. I believe along time ago there were several men who were kind enough to give out presents to kids for the holiday in thier country that is like Christmas. I also believe in the giving spirit of the holidays. But I try to let my kids know that even if we think someone is wrong that we should still be nice to them and not throw it in thier faces. Hopefully in the coming years they will show they have learned this. Being in a military family they are around different cultures all the time so that will help too I think.

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