Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy HG+ -- now what?

My DS4 took the SB-V last week. We wanted advice on whether he should go to kindergarten a year early, and in our district you need to show IQ of 130 to be considered. Sitting in another room while DS4 took the test, I wondered if maybe he's just a smart kid, and we were wrong to bring him in for testing. Well, here's what our report said: His full scale IQ on the SB-V is in the profoundly gifted range at >99.9th percentile.

My first reaction was "oh crap." I emailed a friend whose son is HG+, and she responded jokingly with, "I'll go out and find a hallmark card that says "so sorry to hear you kid is profoundly gifted..." Also, kimck was immediately available with support (thanks!).

After meeting with the psychologist and getting lots of information and resources, DH and I have sort of come to terms with the whole thing, and we think it might be kind of a fun adventure. We have lots of choices, which is nice. And we got one solid piece of advice that we plan to follow: Don't start kindergarten early, let him play another year. We don't know yet how our district will react to our son once he gets there, and we may end up half-homeschooling/public school for less educational stuff. We'll just have to wait and see. It seems like it won't matter which kind of school we choose while he's young, since he would need accommodations even if there were a gifted school near us. My DH said "I think taking a sabbatical and living in a different country during middle school would be great!"

But whatever we do, I just want to thank everyone here for support you have given us (even if you didn't know you did). Reading the posts here has been extremely helpful to me. Also, seeing how many different kinds of HG kids there are was an eye-opener. I always thought profoundly gifted were those kids that you read about in the paper (going to college as kids). Although I have a really early reader, my kid does not seem like the idea of profoundly gifted I had in my head. And learning that homeschooling is not just for "out-there" families has been a real plus!

Because the results were not what I expected (I thought moderately gifted), I am extremely happy that we found out so early. Now we can be a little more prepared for the obstacles ahead. So, after having a little cry over the fact that our son will not have a "normal" childhood, as I learn more about this whole giftedness issue, I will be happily returning to this great supportive online community to help me on my journey. Thanks!

And here's a funny from the day we got the news. When we were leaving my mom's house, DS insisted on running on her icy sidewalk. Of course he fell into a snowpile. He got up screaming "my pants got wet! my pants got wet!" [Whenever his clothes get the least bit wet, DS can't stand it and usually strips them off immediately.] My mom said, "Hmm. So that's what profoundly gifted looks like."

Welcome to the PG world. It is fantastic that you found out early and have time to research all the educational options available to your son. It takes a while for it all to seem real.


I laughed when I read this because my husband is considering applying for an overseas position within his company that would move us to the other side of the world as my dd enters middle school.

Wow St. Pauli Girl,

I have to think that you were a least a little bit suspicious that he was HG+ or else you wouldn't have been hanging out on this board for the last 6 weeks. I imagine that a lot of parents of MG kids check in here, maybe read some stuff (I hope it's helpful), but then move on because our stories and experiences don't feel like "home" in the same way they do for parents in the HG+ category. So I think that somewhere in your mom's instinct you knew something was up.

We did not early entrance our DS into K. And we had such a fun year--we took several family trips and at 5 DS was able to get a lot out of them. We also sent him to live with his grandparents on a farm for 2 weeks while DH and I went to England. I loved the flexibility of not having him in school, but the independence of not being a toddler. I'm so glad we didn't early entrance him.

I think he's old enough now that he would let me report (thinking of your DS's wet pants) that DS loves to laugh very loudly and very dramatically and that this has always posed a bladder issue for him. It's one of the reasons we never thought of skipping him--his academic abilities were several years ahead but his bladder abilities were delayed. No one needs that in middle school! But it has finally caught up and we are all very grateful.

This was me back in September. I knew we needed to test DS4 but once he was actually taking the test I panicked--I spent the whole 2 hours thinking I shouldn't have brought him for testing.

Welcome to the group--there should be a membership card or at least a secret handshake.

ETA: In regards to K early we were not able to do this since testing occurred after the school year started. We have just started the process of 1st grade early since I think DS may have gotten all he can out of his 3-6 yr old Montessori school. I think a lot of factors need to be weighed. If I didn't work and money was not an issue I probably wouldn't be pushing for him to start public school early. Another year of fun sounds like a good plan but leaving my son in a "play" daycare did not work out well for him. He needed the academic stimulation of Montessori to make him happy.

Perhaps deep down I might have suspected he was more gifted, but really, I was thinking he would be in the 130's somewhere. Honestly! He isn't like some of the kids I read about here who seemed so amazing, probably the ones i'm thinking about were more math-minded. But obviously, what do i know! Even knowing that DH and I were both in gifted programs as kids (what they had, anyway) didn't mean much to me, since neither of us considered ourselves gifted.

I'm glad to hear you had a positive experience not early entrancing your son. I hope our year is as fun as yours. (hmmm. shipping off to grandparents; sounds like a plan!) For me, hearing the advice to keep him out of kindy was like a weight off my shoulders. I really thought that would be our best option (thinking that he wasn't all that gifted). But I think it would have been disastrous.

I missed a couple early K comments. Dottie - I'm glad it worked for you. I commented that it would be disastrous for our son, because he is really stubborn, doesn't like to sit still, runs around when he's excited about anything, and argues constantly. He has been home with me all along (hmmmm, i wonder how he got these discipline problems?!) And crisc - we are lucky enough that I can stay home with him and do some side projects, otherwise I would fret more about early k. (DH would i'm sure prefer that I was working too, but really, clothes really do last a long time, and I know how to sew on patches!)

I'm just so happy this support group exists, though. There are really very few people we can talk to this about, and just venting helps.

I have fallen into the trap of noticing all the "normal" annoying things my kid does (losing things, not picking up after himself, not eating over his plate, not paying attention etc) and thinking that those are representative of his intelligence. The discussions we had about the nature of God when he was 4, well, that's just why I like being his mom. I didn't know that was special. So I tended to take the HG discussions for granted and focus on the normal kid stuff (because that is what took my emotional energy), and as a result I missed the clues.

My DS does not scream HG+ either to the general public. He just learns completely without effort. He loves to play with kids of most ages. He would have been right next to your DS in the snowbank whining about his wet pants.

And I don't think every HG+ kid is necessarily ready to sit in a kindergarten (especially all day) with kids more than a year older. Especially, if you're thinking of a partial (or whole) homeschool option anyway. My DS had a WONDERFUL year the year before kindergarten, and he was old for grade. He is high energy. We had so much fun that year and he learned a ton. We also started him on piano that year (which was actually the first inkling we had that something was up with him). Our kindergarten was very "first grade like" in terms of behavorial expectations IMO. Just caught your post on your DS's behavoir. Ummm yep ... sounds familiar!

And I'm right there with you on the travel! My DH might have some 1-2 year overseas work options that I'm strongly encouraging. And middle school age would be nice. We also may be able to travel 3-4 weeks at a time and he can work remotely. This is definitely part of my draw to homeschooling since we are able to swing it right now!

Anyway - vent away!

i'm not too scared yet. If math turns out to be his thing, I won't realize it anyway, because it's not my thing!

Thank you for this post st. pauli girl. It has some valuable anecdotal stuff for those of us in similar situations with 3 year olds wondering how they fit the milestones and comparisons.

And thank you everyone else for your posts on the early entrance, something that was lurking in my mind but now don't think is appropriate for a bunch of reasons.

Ren