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    Hi,

    I've seen so many times now posts and articles that say that the gifted child must be challenged or they will not acquire a work ethic, study skills, etc, that I feel the need to play devil's advocate.

    I'm MG, maybe HG, but certainly not PG. I coasted all the way through school, a bit of challenge in later high school but it was not a hard high school, I was a big fish in a little pond. My parents thought it was important to do okay but they didn't care about a top grade, they didn't go to parent conferences, volunteer, etc. They didn't seem to think that my performance was something they could affect beyond asking me if my homework was done. They did themselves value learning highly, which showed in career choices, the games we played (trivial pursuit, complicated card games), trips we took, etc -- but they didn't expect school to provide or reinforce a work ethic.

    Very selective college, I worked hard for sure but still crammed before exams. Post graduate got too hard for cramming to work and the first fall I got a D before I realized the amount of continuous effort required. A teacher asked me if I might have a learning disability. In response I joined some study groups, got organized, and did great after that.

    In fact I think the coasting helped me. It let me see school as something apart from my self-identity. It minimized me feeling like I need someone else to instruct me. I did a lot of other things as a kid, played a lot, read a huge amount, built a lot of things, was pulled out of school regularly for trips or minor illness. In post graduate work I wasn't afraid to skip some of my school's class-time to take some outside classes, giving me a breadth that later served me well (it seemed to shock my classmates at the time, skip class, what if my gradepoint average dropped?)

    I think one really has to look at the family's characteristics and child's temperament before deciding a child needs to work hard at formal schooling from the age of 5 in order to succeed in life.

    It seems like sometimes a need for challenge to build character or study skills is used as an excuse to get appropriate level work. Which is fine as long as one realizes that at least occasionally this is just an excuse. For truly PG kids perhaps more often a necessity, as they might not encounter challenge any other way.

    I'm trying to figure out what the specific characteristics are that let me coast without damaging my ability ramp up my effort when needed.

    One thing may be an ability to deeply focus on something one is interested in. If I get interested in something I could do it for days straight (that's now, more for hours straight as a 5 year old). Another is perfectionism or self criticism, so that I'm very aware of the quality of what I'm doing and even if I start something the night before I don't settle for pretty good. (I have a teenage relative right now hitting a wall academically because he's so un-self-critical he doesn't care to turn in work that is excellent if he can get by with work that is so-so).

    To other successful coasters out there... what was your family like or what about you made it fine to coast? Do all gifted 5 and 6 year olds need to be academically challenged by their classwork?

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    I coasted. My parents were working class, we lived in rural Appalachia, and I went to public school.

    I remember refusing to do chalkboards full of arithmetic problems in first grade because I already knew how to do them. Over the next several years, I learned to keep my head down, hide my book under the desk, retain the last sentence spoken by the teacher in short-term memory without actually listening, stare at the teacher while daydreaming, do my homework during the roll call, and count to three before asking a question to give everyone else a chance to answer.

    I never made the honor roll in high school. The closest I came was in sophomore year, when I made 5 As and a D in PE. My parents never hassled me about my grades. My dad would look at my report card and sign it without comment, whether my grades were good or bad.

    I was the one who wanted to attend a selective college, 150 miles from home geographically, but light years away socially and philosophically. I remember coming home to an empty house from a field trip the day after I received my financial aid offer. I wondered briefly, as you always do if you're growing up in fundamental Christianity, if everybody else had been swept up in the Rapture.

    But soon my mother came home and told me that I was going to that college I wanted, that a friend of the family had given us the security deposit instead of giving her tithe to the church that month. I didn't know about the friend, but I'd already decided I was going to find a way, somehow. I patted my mom on the arm and said, "I know."

    Fast forward five years, and I'm sitting in the chapel, about to graduate. The choir is chanting a psalm, and I'm looking up into the chancel, where the faculty are sitting in pews that face each other. Some of the professors are craning their necks to look at...us! For the first time, it occurs to me that they are actually proud of us. I remember all the sloppy papers-- essentially first drafts--that I slid under their doors at midnight. And I start to cry for all the missed opportunities to do really good work.

    Honestly, I've never been motivated by things like money and grades. When I did well in graduate school, it was because I enjoyed the subject. When I did poorly in graduate school, it's because I was also teaching children at the time, and I tended to prioritize their lessons over mine. And I have often chosen jobs that were interesting to me over jobs that pay well or offer steady employment.

    The same 6th grade teacher who told my mother I was "sharp as a whip and lazy as a dog" recently told me to quit working so hard on the furlough days. My state decided they didn't have enough money to pay teachers for some of the days we prepare classrooms, lessons, and report card grades.

    My adviser in graduate school said I didn't want to bother with things I didn't think were important, and he was right about that, too. When I got my MA just in time for the tech bubble to burst and the job market to tank in the last recession before this, my host wanted me to wear pantyhose to interviews. I remember thinking that any boss who cared whether I wore pantyhose wasn't a boss I wanted to work for. And that distaste for jumping through hoops, I developed while coasting in school.

    When we talk about underachievement, we never seem to say that gifted kids often do not get good grades or good jobs because they do not recognize report card grades, GPA, or a high salary as a valid measure of achievement. And that's part of what coasting does to you, too.

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    Originally Posted by Beckee
    I remember refusing to do chalkboards full of arithmetic problems in first grade because I already knew how to do them. (or any other work my DD feels like not doing) Over the next several years, I learned to keep my head down, hide my book under the desk, retain the last sentence spoken by the teacher in short-term memory without actually listening, stare at the teacher while daydreaming, do my homework during the roll call, and count to three before asking a question to give everyone else a chance to answer.

    My adviser in graduate school said I didn't want to bother with things I didn't think were important, and he was right about that, too. When I got my MA just in time for the tech bubble to burst and the job market to tank in the last recession before this, my host wanted me to wear pantyhose to interviews. I remember thinking that any boss who cared whether I wore pantyhose wasn't a boss I wanted to work for. And that distaste for jumping through hoops, I developed while coasting in school.

    When we talk about underachievement, we never seem to say that gifted kids often do not get good grades or good jobs because they do not recognize report card grades, GPA, or a high salary as a valid measure of achievement. And that's part of what coasting does to you, too.

    My DD is only EIGHT and is ALREADY like this! Except she hasn't learned to keep her head down and the other kids notice her reading, so she gets in trouble for it, when she is probably turning to books to keep herself from acting out more *sigh*
    We have tried SO MANY reward/consequence systems and nothing ever seems to make a difference. My DD seems to be completely INTERNALLY motivated, by what, I don't exactly know...but her current interest in "brain games" shows me that she enjoys challenging HERSELF and looks only to herself for that need to be filled, leaving her contemptuous and disrespectful of a person whose JOB IT IS to challenge her and TEACH her things. How is she supposed to react if she feels NO (or very little) new information is being presented? What a sad life my child is living right now, to not feel the joy of discovery, the excitmement of sharing something fascinating with peers...
    Life shouldn't be a coast. It should be filled with highs and lows, excitement, sorrow, joy, disappointment. Even the painful things teach you something. The middle of the stream is safe, but boring. And if she goes to regular school, she spends the majority of time there, where is she supposed to fill herself with the other things that make her complete? If you are used to coasting, what do you do when you hit the rapids? I want my DD prepared for that. Olympic athletes don't coast...they challenge themselves and stretch and practice and grow. My child is getting NONE of that with these DISMAL standards and, what's more, is being held back, told to not work ahead or shine too hard academically because it might make others feel bad...

    That's what coasting is doing to our family, right now frown


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    Originally Posted by 2giftgirls
    If you are used to coasting, what do you do when you hit the rapids?

    Partial or complete decompensation?

    Becoming a danger to others?

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    Originally Posted by Beckee
    When we talk about underachievement, we never seem to say that gifted kids often do not get good grades or good jobs because they do not recognize report card grades, GPA, or a high salary as a valid measure of achievement. And that's part of what coasting does to you, too.


    So true Beckee!


    Nothing was very interesting. Nothing.

    Coasting is just making do. Waiting for ... nothing. Because year after year, school day after school day, what you can immediately grasp after the first 5 minutes the teacher introduces and then repeats for the rest of week shows you there will be nothing interesting.

    Coasting at a school is waiting to be fed. And they feed new interesting things ... so.... ..... slow. If I was interested, I went off to the library and read it already. But then I still have to hear it again and write it out to "show" I know it on paper for the next week or two or three.

    The non-coasting, the acceleration, the challenge, is a light. Invigorates. I am alive. I can think and not be invisible. (Haha, I can "not-"exist in class and be invisible, and daydream, and still do well in school. This is a sick laugh because I died then. There was no point in it. A slow torture.) The light -- I need it to live. Please challenge my brain.

    Add to this, issues with perfectionism, underachievement, wanting to be normal. Imagine everyone reading at Gr. 1 level but you read books at the Gr.3-4 level. There is no one to talk to about the fascinating stories you've just read. The isolation. Aaagh.

    But it depends on the child. In the OP's case, it seems to work out ok. But for others, it darkens their soul, ahem, because some would feel rather intensely about all this.




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    Someone showed me this article-- I'm not sure if you've seen it, but it's pretty interesting

    What a Child Doesn't Learn

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    Quote
    My adviser in graduate school said I didn't want to bother with things I didn't think were important, and he was right about that, too. When I got my MA just in time for the tech bubble to burst and the job market to tank in the last recession before this, my host wanted me to wear pantyhose to interviews. I remember thinking that any boss who cared whether I wore pantyhose wasn't a boss I wanted to work for. And that distaste for jumping through hoops, I developed while coasting in school.

    Hmm. I have to tell you that I am like this too, but I wouldn't say I did a LOT of coasting. Some, but not a lot--I was fortunate to have pretty good school experiences. I wonder if some of this attitude is personality more than anything. I am not a hoop-jumper and never have been. I also am not a praise junkie.

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    I want my daughter to be challenged in school because I remember what it was like for me K-6 with zero challenges, dying a little every day in school, and I'd like to spare her that, especially because we already see it happening.

    Also, I see where she's at from an achievement perspective compared to where I was at that same age, with all the advantages she's already received, and I imagine how much further she can go if she's provided with the right opportunities... and don't we all want our children to end up in a better place than we did?

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    Polly Offline OP
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    Dude et al, I fully agree... I remember being just so unhappy with boredom it was like physical pain. I want to spare my DS that if there's any way possible. Still, I don't think the coasting hurt me in the long run. Except perhaps to have an edge-need, a compulsion to never sit in the middle so as not to be trapped in boring movies/talks/etc, in this unexpectedly lucky adult life where one can simply go.

    It seems like the specter of boredom is so attached to coasting that it's hard to talk about effects of coasting in isolation.

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    Originally Posted by ultramarina
    I wonder if some of this attitude is personality more than anything. I am not a hoop-jumper and never have been. I also am not a praise junkie.


    "I'm not way big into external validation," is the way I usually put it.

    Apologies, I think I post this link on some discussion every couple of weeks, but yes. It is a matter of personality. FPs on the Myers Brigg are more likely to bug their parents about a lack of challenge. TPs are more likely to conclude their teachers are stupid and just coast.

    http://www.educationaloptions.com/resources/resources_rufs_tips.php


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    Originally Posted by Beckee
    "I'm not way big into external validation," is the way I usually put it.

    I only recently realized that external validation was essentially the only driving force in my life. Mostly winning and losing. The goal in life is to win! Preferably everything.

    Of course, once you reach the adult world, it's literally impossible to "win".

    This is possibly why my wife considers me lazy. I literally have no mainspring to drive my life anymore, ergo I have nothing to accomplish.

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    Have you tried turning work or other things that you have a hard time finding motivation for into games, with a rubric for different scoring levels (with the objective of beating a previous "high score") or with challenging criteria for "winning"?

    This is the only way my house ever gets cleaned...

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    Originally Posted by aculady
    Have you tried turning work or other things that you have a hard time finding motivation for into games, with a rubric for different scoring levels (with the objective of beating a previous "high score") or with challenging criteria for "winning"?

    This is the only way my house ever gets cleaned...

    I'm thinking I need to just develop some intrinsic motivation with respect to activities of daily living.

    I've never really been into daily living.

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    Originally Posted by Beckee
    Apologies, I think I post this link on some discussion every couple of weeks, but yes. It is a matter of personality. FPs on the Myers Brigg are more likely to bug their parents about a lack of challenge. TPs are more likely to conclude their teachers are stupid and just coast.

    http://www.educationaloptions.com/resources/resources_rufs_tips.php

    Brilliant! You just summed up my and my DS's attitude towards school in one sentence. Both "TP's" here. Although I am not philosophically a big fan of coasting I was a consumate coaster right through undergrad. I did put in a lot of thought and effort for my master's degree however but that was 15 years later.

    I am enjoying reading this discussion because I oh so want an excuse for both my own and my son's lack of motivation and "hoop jumping" in school. On the other hand, I am a teacher so part of me always feels guilty.


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    Funny you should post this. I have been mulling this over and wondering what "achievement" I should be seeking for my child.

    I was kinda a coaster. It was always important to me to get good grades, because that is how I felt in "control" -- we moved around a lot when I was growing up, and I felt helpless in other respects. But I didn't seek CHALLENGE.

    I went to public high school, got top grades. Then I attended a challenging private college, assuming I would be in the middle of the pack, but graduated with over a 3.8 GPA without trying too hard. In law school, I graduated first in my class.

    But I never challenged myself by taking higher level math classes, etc., that would have really been a stretch. And no one else ever challenged me, either. I was content to just do what I liked and, to be honest, I liked what came easier.

    My family expected me to do my homework, but was very hands off about getting involved in schooling and certainly didn't expect A's or push me in one direction or another academically.

    And, although I was voted Most Likely to Succeed in high school, some may question whether I am a "success" now. I became a partner in a large law firm and practiced law successfully for over a decade before walking away to be a stay-at-home mom (and stalwart PTO and church volunteer) five years ago. I am content and don't have angst about my decision.

    Yet, objectively, I probably had potential to "accomplish" a lot more in terms of a career. Who knows? If challenged in math and science, maybe I could have taken a different career path and found the cure to cancer -- know what I mean?

    Now, I have a daughter of my own and am really torn right now between putting her in an accelerated program and letting her coast in a regular classroom.

    Should I be doing everything I can to set her up to find the cure to cancer, but perhaps suffer blows to her self-esteem in a class of highly capable kids? Or should I let her follow my example and sail along at the top of the regular class, even if she admits that she doesn't use her big words at school because kids don't like it and teachers don't believe she knows what they mean?

    Now THAT I have angst about. Dunno...


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    Originally Posted by cmac
    Should I be doing everything I can to set her up to find the cure to cancer, but perhaps suffer blows to her self-esteem in a class of highly capable kids? Or should I let her follow my example and sail along at the top of the regular class, even if she admits that she doesn't use her big words at school because kids don't like it and teachers don't believe she knows what they mean?

    I think that depends on her personality.

    In my case, it would have been appropriate to put me in with people who I couldn't intellectually overwhelm like I was sandblasting soup crackers.

    That would have possibly avoided my current sense of permanent catastrophic failure and enabled me to actually developing some psychological resiliency.

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    I don't think that it necessarily damages a person's self esteem to have to work hard. Succeeding at difficult tasks is one way that people build self-esteem and a sense of self-efficacy... and being around people who get your jokes is priceless.

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    I'm not concerned about the hard work damaging her self-esteem. I do have concerns about her self-esteem being damaged by being surrounded by a lot of kids who find the work easier than she does. Already, if a single child in her class knows something before she does, she is convinced that she is the only one who didn't know it.

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    ok so...today, DD8 tells me she doesn't want to finish the 8 week guitar class she's in...they are about halfway through. But I think it's good for her, the teacher has a great philosophy about them stretching their brains, even if they aren't very "good". I ask her why and she says the teacher goes too fast, they only learned one "real" song. I think what's really going on is that it's not super easy, that she's not coasting. Even though she has great fine motor control, she's only 8 and the smallest kid BY FAR, so it's harder for her to handle even the kid size guitars they use...

    So, I told her that I (and her dad) would be disappointed if she just quit. It was her decision, but if she quit, I was going to make her pay me back the $40 it cost...or she could go and try her best every week until it was over and never have to do it again. She agonized over it for a while, then told me she decided to finish the course. I saw the teacher after class and told him what happened and he said that she had a total different attitude today, she was engaged and paying attention, and she got to sit in the first seat a couple of times today. I relayed the teacher's compliments and told her how proud I was of her decision AND to hear that she had tried her best today. I don't *need* her to be a guitar star, but if she wants extra opportunities, I expect her to try her hardest.

    I think it all hit home...and that's why it's not ok to coast...coasting can lead to giving up before you have a chance to really discover something...coasting can set up a situation, like I see in my DD, that when a new thing is finally challenging, she often gives up beofre she really tries, gets emotional about it, lets perfectionism stop her from even trying...

    Coasting put her in a place where she didn't trust or respect the teachers at school and she is ONLY EIGHT!!!


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    Originally Posted by aculady
    Have you tried turning work or other things that you have a hard time finding motivation for into games, with a rubric for different scoring levels (with the objective of beating a previous "high score") or with challenging criteria for "winning"?

    This is the only way my house ever gets cleaned...

    Ha! This made me laugh out loud as just yesterday I surpassed my previous record of pairs of socks folded...

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    First, I'm glad someone already referenced the "What a Child Doesn't Learn" article, 'cause I hate sounding like a broken record.

    Addressing the initial question, "Can coasting be just fine?" I'd say absolutely -- I'm sure that the potential exists for a student to coast through all of K-12 and then magically readjust everything necessary to succeed in college. I just don't think it is worth the risk to wait that long to find out the answer.

    It'd certainly be a lot easier for the first dozen years... just letting the kid roll out of bed everyday knowing all the answers... easily bringing home the straight-A report cards... almost always being the smartest kid in every class -- without having to crack open a textbook.

    But if you go this route, you'd better be ready to help during those first crazy days of college... when zero effort will most likely result in zero credit.

    As you might have guessed, this was my personal experience. Except that I had no idea that I was coasting all the way through school. I knew I was goofing off a bit more than most kids throughout high school, and maybe not going to class as often as others -- but I truly did not recognize how easy everything was for me.

    And then off I went to college: Going to every class? Seriously? Note-taking? What's that about? Studying? How do you do that? I crashed into the proverbial wall so bloody hard. I dropped calculus and chemistry within the first month thinking that someone was playing a practical joke on me - this stuff was way too hard, even for a genius like me.

    I dropped out completely shortly after finals.

    -- -- --

    I didn't realize what happened to me until I was researching GT-Ed in relation to our son, when his school recommended we put him into 1st grade at age 4. I stumbled across the report, "A Nation Deceived," and spent hours reading through the gory details and then was nearly brought to tears by the personal stories shared by students and parents. I was seeing my life described in dozens & dozens of the anecdotes; it was very powerful stuff. And a big smack in the head, albeit some 20+ years after the fact.

    By the time our son was in third grade, and despite starting school a year early, I began to see the signs that things were still too easy for him. He knew all the answers, he was whipping through his books, he was getting top scores in everything... only he wasn't exerting any effort to accomplish any of this. But unlike some of the gifties out there -- and very much like his father at that age -- he wasn't bothered by this a bit.

    I did notice, however, that he was greatly bothered by anything that presented even the slightest challenge. He was already addicted to the easy A.

    Thankfully, through a fluke speech screening, he was given a test that lead to formal IQ and achievement tests. His scores caught the attention of some district-level people and with their help at the beginning of 4th grade, he was skipped into 5th and was working on 6th grade math.

    This second full skip, along with the extra acceleration in math, was finally making our son work a bit more for his grades. He slowly became accustomed to the idea of exerting effort to achieve and as the year progressed, was no longer frightened by every little challenge that stood in his way.

    -- -- --

    So, no, I guess I'm not a big fan of coasting.


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    I think 2giftgirls put it well with her example of guitar lessons. I have posted similar stories about piano and DD7. She just had a recital on 2 pieces she was not found of, a slow Tchaikovshy was one. And her teacher has a very high bar of how she wants pieces played. I worked with DD and pushed her to do it as the teacher wanted, saying that if she didn't do it now, the teacher would delay the recital until it was right. And she got it done and she played amazingly and after she said she felt proud that she had done the work and did so well.

    Coasting allows you to do OK. Even if you get A+, a lot of time you don't really learn it. You learn it to regurgitate it.

    It is how you use your mind. Einstein worked in a patent office. Instead of just sitting there approving patents, (talk about outliers and opportunities) he used his position to look at all these time synchronizers and apply it to space and time, to create a new physical way of thinking.

    So what does coasting give you? A "C", for cheating yourself out of opportunity.

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    Originally Posted by eema
    I suppose that one day it will catch up with the second one, but let's face it - grade 6 really doesn't matter, and I suspect that he will develop the work ethic in time. He has a long time to be grown up and responsible, and I see no reason to ruin his happiness at this point in life, just because some day he will need to work hard.

    I coasted until 9th grade when GPA began to gain monetary value.

    Before that, you can't really cash in your IQ for $$$.

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    Originally Posted by Wren
    I think 2giftgirls put it well with her example of guitar lessons. I have posted similar stories about piano and DD7. She just had a recital on 2 pieces she was not found of, a slow Tchaikovshy was one. And her teacher has a very high bar of how she wants pieces played. I worked with DD and pushed her to do it as the teacher wanted, saying that if she didn't do it now, the teacher would delay the recital until it was right. And she got it done and she played amazingly and after she said she felt proud that she had done the work and did so well.


    This is fine, as long as you avoid the violent outburst outliers:

    "n October 23, 1990, David Pologruto, a high school physics teacher, was stabbed by his smart student Jason Haffizulla. Jason was not a teenager you think would try to kill someone. He got straight A�s and was determined to study medicine at Harvard, yet this was his downfall. His physics teacher gave Jason a B, a mark Jason believed would undermine his entrance to Harvard. After receiving his B, Jason took a butcher knife to school and stabbed his physics teacher before being reprimanded in a struggle.

    Two years following the incident in a New York Times article covering this story, it was reported that Jason raised his grade average to 4.614, which exceeds the perfect average of 4, by taking advanced courses. He graduated with highest honors."

    http://www.towerofpower.com.au/why-...unication-skills-and-what-to-do-about-it

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    There is a side of just plain parenting. I think too many parents are just too dismissive of bad behavior, because of the kid being so smart. Bad behavior is bad behavior.

    As a parent that was brought in the Bill Cosby age of spanking. If you remember listening to his records, you get this.

    Too many parents are too permissive and allow for hitting, tantrums and whatnot. A kid is not allowed to act this way. And any kid will if allowed.

    And then they stab the teacher...

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    No, I do not spank but I am strict with bad behavior.


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    Unless Harvard Boy was fine until he suffered a near nervous breakdown because of the pressure, and, instead of decompensating inwward, he decompensated outward.

    In other news, I turned away a client with Intermittent Explosive Disorder yesterday. Who needs to deal with that?

    Last edited by JonLaw; 11/10/11 04:04 PM. Reason: Remember, ideation can be suicidal or homicidal!
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    I consider myself strict, but in our case, what we were doing for 3 years was obviously just not working. Near the end of last year, I vowed to stop yelling and try to keep myself really calm and that really worked at home and with homework, but I have NEVER been able to MAKE Butter do something at school that she didn't want to. She certainly was disciplined for both not completing work as well as poor behavior choices/actions at home, but I often wondering what the heck the school was doing? If THEY are not happy with her behavior, I think THEY need to address it. I did what I could at home, but nothing seemed to help.

    Now we are homeschooling and I let it be Butter's choice. The guitar, they actually suggest 4th grade (9yo), but they let 3rds try this year and the ones doing it are fairly mature and interested. I let it be her choice in the beginning and I warned her that paying me back if she quit was going to be the consequence. Honestly, this is a HUGE step in the right direction, as far as I am concerned. And I can SEE that, while I need to at least make her THINK it's her choice (and it can be a lot of the time), I also need to pressure her some. That pressuring her, just a little, says "I think you can do more, I believe in you." In fact, someone else here suggested that to me, that Butter was underperforming BECAUSE I had never put pressure on her.

    Is this good for every kid? Probably not. But...if your kid is bringing home straight A's on everything with minimal effort, I say you owe it to them to provide *some* sort of challenge. It doesn't have to be academically...it can be creatively or physically, even better actually...but diamonds are made from pressure on coal wink


    I get excited when the library lets me know my books are ready for pickup...
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    Originally Posted by Dandy
    Addressing the initial question, "Can coasting be just fine?" I'd say absolutely -- I'm sure that the potential exists for a student to coast through all of K-12 and then magically readjust everything necessary to succeed in college. I just don't think it is worth the risk to wait that long to find out the answer.

    +1

    I had a similar experience, and although my parents did their best within the framework they had (I got 2 grade skips by 6th grade) I never actually worked until after high school. By the time I had reached 6th grade I was fine bringing home B+ and not being the best student in my class -- as long as I could keep reading under my desk without anybody bugging me.

    The competitive engineering prep program I landed in out of high school was a rude awakening, but by the time I was there there was no time to 1) learn how to work and 2) actually do the work. Some of my bad childhood habits are still having an impact on my work, twenty years later.

    Of course I was very resistant to any pressure put on me to perform from early on (refused to learn how to read or count past 20 until I started "real" school...), so not sure things would have been much better if my parents had tried to correct the coasting wink

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    Originally Posted by SiaSL
    The competitive engineering prep program I landed in out of high school was a rude awakening, but by the time I was there there was no time to 1) learn how to work and 2) actually do the work. Some of my bad childhood habits are still having an impact on my work, twenty years later.

    I manged to hold off on "actually working" until after law school. It was a shock to go from zero productivity to 100% productivity.

    I never did get a handle on basic organization or basic time management skills. Someday, perhaps.

    Speaking of that, does anyone know why legal assistants never, ever have time to file paperwork?

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    Originally Posted by JonLaw
    Speaking of that, does anyone know why legal assistants never, ever have time to file paperwork?


    For the same reason I never, ever have time to iron anything? wink

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