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    Joined: Feb 2008
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    Ann Offline
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    GT most definitely...

    1. OE,
    2. Time Machine, and
    3. Bad guy stew.

    = one fun GT little boy. grin

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    Kriston Offline OP
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    You're SO right, Ann! He's lots of fun. And so cuddly!

    Good article, BTW, elh. Thanks for the link. I am doing pretty much all of the things they list to keep negative rivalry to a minimum, so maybe I'm worrying more than I need to.

    Hopefully I am, anyway!


    Kriston
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    Kristin, I'm sure you are. I put the link in as a reassurance smile Now sit back cuddle the boys a few minutes and go knit (after a bowl of stew of course.) smile


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    Kriston Offline OP
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    laugh It's good to have e-friends!


    Kriston
    #11329 03/12/08 10:33 AM
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    Oh Kriston - I'm with Ann. I just posted on the other thread, but just the few things you posted about your little guy sound GT. And the rampant emotionalism? He may be more visual-spatial than your other DS too, which might change the way he is learning to read. My son didn't read until 5 willingly and then it was an overnight sensation. He's really likely to be within ballpark of his brother.

    I think it's ok to not be fair. Your parents were exactly like mine - they had to be fair all the time. And I just think that is too hard of a game to play. Every kid has different needs and when I'm not fair, I explain that and I give an example when I did something for kid A I didn't do for kid B. We're about to put this to the test because DS is about to get a new bike! And DD is about to get his cast off. And DS1 may be in DYS. But DS2 may be in a theatre club or something?

    On homeschooling, I kind of feel the same way! My DD LOVES preschool (much more than DS ever did), but next year if it is her brother and I dropping her off I wonder if she's going to change her tune. When kindergarten rolls around for her, if she REALLY wants to homeschool and we're still doing it, it will be hard to say no. Even though I see her as a much harder kid to homeschool. DS could practically homeschool himself. Anyway - I am trying not to think more than 6 months out with kid #2 either and see how she plays out. My son changed so much between 3 and 5.

    #11332 03/12/08 10:43 AM
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    Kriston, I have several thoughts.

    I am going to be in the same situation next year because I think my DS7 will test into the GT program whereas his older brother did not due to 2e issues. So do I not let DS7 be in the program because I don't want to hurt DS10's feelings? That wouldn't be fair to DS7 - he is his own person and I have already explained the 2e stuff to DS10. Your DS's are younger so that makes it harder.

    My younger sister was higher IQ than me but I never felt in any way inferior to her. In fact, I felt decidedly superior, I'm ashamed to admit, because of her general spaciness (she's definitely NOT an INTJ). I was also extremely jealous of her just for being born and I know if my mom had home schooled her and sent me off I would have been traumatized. However, acs noted that she would have had the opposite reaction.

    I was discussing my almost 3 year old nephew with his mother yesterday and she said she had already taken him to a visual specialist to check out some potential visual tracking problems. She said the specialist goes to her church and recommended her bringing him in as well as her almost year old daughter who appears to have some eye problems as well. So if you think your DS3 might have some sort of visual issue (and I believe we've discussed that before) it might not be too early to have it checked out. I'd just be sure to take him to a specialist as regular eye doctors don't seem to catch these things. (now I'm just remembering what I think we've discussed in previous posts - I apologize if I've remembered wrong)

    Mainly I think you will have to take your DS's general personalities, relationships, etc. into consideration when making your decision. He might be like acs and be thrilled to go to school or he might not. He is definitely GT anyway so all of this might not even be an issue in the future but I understand your wanting to think about it now.

    Don't know if this helps or not but I am sure you will make the right decision when the time comes. We all know you're a fantastic mother!

    kcab - I need to read that book. My boys tend to fight more than I wish they would. They are so very different.

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    Kriston,
    I have struggled somewhat with the same issue. Last year I was wondering if my DD5 was even gifted and how I was going to deal with what seemed to be the inequitities of having a PG child and a bright but not gifted child. During this time I began searching for my younger dd's gifts. I truly believe there is something special about each child we just have to discover what it is. I realized that she enjoys beautiful things like colors, fabric/clothes, and music. My younger dd inherited the musical genes from my DH's side of the family. She has incredible rhythm and an amazing voice. She can project like an opera singer, which can also be a curse for her mother. My younger dd is not interested in academics like her older PG sister. Just moments ago my little dd said, "School is dumb." I am currently homeschooling her (and doing a very poor job of it) until she is old enough to go to public school.

    My dds simply have different gifts. One is an artist and scholar while the other is a musician and designer. I try to expose both girls to a variety of experiences. Both girls take piano and art but at some point they will have to focus on their passion. Each has something special to offer the world.

    It is likely that I will eventually have to homeschool my older dd, but I do not think that homeschooling is the best thing for my younger dd. Ironically, we were discussing the homeschooling/public schooling issue in our local PG group the other day. There were five of us currently homeschooling one child while having another child in public or private school. One of the moms mentioned that the homeschooling community tends to frown on this but nobody in the PG group gave it a second thought. In the PG world you work so hard to find the right educational fit that you cannot be tied down by the expectations or traditions of society.

    Regarding the DYS issue. The only thing I have found where a sibling is excluded is the gathering. If attending the gathering is important to your YS, make that weekend a special opportunity for your other child in a different way. In our local PG group siblings are invited to participate in all activities. On the rare occasion that we (as parents) chose not to include the other sibling, we do something else special for her.

    I also have baggage from my childhood. My sister and I grew up with the understanding that I was the intellectual/driven one and she was the pretty/social one. We both accepted our respective "label" without receiving too much damage from it. Though I was really bummed when I found out as an adult that my sister had a higher IQ than I did. Now she is the pretty one and the smart one. (sigh) From my childhood baggage I make sure to tell both my children that they are smart and beautiful but I still recognize their unique gifts and encourage them to do what they love.

    As I was reading this thread, a thought did cross my mind. What would you do if your DS6 liked to play football and your 3 year old were a girl? Would you not let your son play football because his sister could not participate? Just something to think about. For some reason athletics is such a great parallel to intellectual giftedness, yet we do not question the way the levels of giftedness are valued and nutured in athletics.

    Sorry if I rambled.

    Summer



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    Kriston, I could have written your post to the t, except perhaps the public school part. I feel I am in the same boat.

    DS3 is gifted, but I don't think he is as gifted as DS5. I don't think he will be as good in math, I can sort of see him with very similar VIQ and PIQ scores and FIQ missing the DYS cut off by a few points. BTW I must be nuts thinking about DYS and DS3 at this point anyway.

    Till DS3 turned 15 months or so when somebody commented on my older one, I used to think, wait, you haven't seen my younger one yet. He seemed like he would take right over him, but I don't see that anymore. He has his own path and it's impossible to compare the two. He is better in some things, but there are things where he seems ages behind, but no matter how I look at it, he doesn't seem that gt.

    DS3 already keeps asking if he will be able to attend gifted weekend classes when he is 5. Fortunately the answer is yes, that part shouldn't be a problem. DYS gatherings may pose a problem, not now since he is not 5 yet, but later on.

    Lately lots of things were about DS5 - testing, gifted program, DYS, looking for schools, hs, ... I feel bad about it, DS3 gets pushed aside and I really need to make sure that we are feeding his brain too.

    Our DS3 too will attend Pre-K next year, at least I hope. As it is he is on another strike when it comes to attending his Montessori class. I am signing him up for a play preschool next year, the same one DS5 attended. Hopefully that will work better.

    Summer, I think it's easier to explain to a girl that girls don't play football then to a sibling that he doesn't have the abilities to participate in gt program.


    LMom
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    Kriston Offline OP
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    Thanks, all! laugh

    I should probably clarify: I have no intention of trying to treat my kids the same. That's not my problem. I didn't mean to mislead you with my comment about my parents.

    Really, my problem is how to be sure that they know that I value and appreciate both of them equally even as they are treated differently, both by me and by the world in general. That's a much more challenging problem, yes?

    Texas Summer: I'm a diehard feminist, so if I had a daughter who wanted to play football, she would. grin Heck, I always wanted to play football myself!

    But regardless, I think you're right, LMom, that saying to a child "I'm not sure I can HS you and get you what you need as well as the school can" or "You can't go to the cool DYS activity" are quite complicated to explain well...


    Kriston
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    Kriston Offline OP
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    I just realized that I forgot to say thanks, Texas Summer, for the note about HSing one kid and not the other seems to be pretty normal in your PG group. That's nice to hear, because I think it will seem odd to many of the people in my HS group. They're all very nice and seem quite nonjudgemental, but they do seem to have a momentary <blink> when I say that we have to leave some event to take DS3 to preschool. If preschool makes 'em blink, what will they think about DS3 going to public school?

    *sigh*

    It's nice to know that my considering it isn't as weird or random as it might seem on its face...


    Kriston
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