Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy GT program denial--need advocacy advice

Ha! Love the lamp story. I'm sorry to admit I could see myself doing something like that as a child. And the time machine refernce is adorable! How GT is that?

Speaking of butt ugly - DD got a Dora chair for her 3rd birthday last June. I hid the thing in the basement because I just cannot have a lavender Dora chair in my living room. I gave it away to Toys for Tots in December. YESTERDAY DD decides it is her favorite thing ever and she must have it NOW! I had to walk her around the basement to prove it was gone. She's talking about tracking down the kid who's sitting in it now. I know I overuse this smiley, but it's so appropriate for this kid.

kimck-LOL!!!! Did you give her the "stop that rampant emotionalism" speech?? I wish I had thought of that for my DS7 earlier today when he was melting down about something. The melt downs are less frequent (thank goodness) but they still happen.

I see your OE children are also very stubborn. My DS7 is the most stubborn thing in the world. This must go along with it all somehow. I told him he could change the world if he could just channel that stubborness into something useful. He really liked me saying that and then he informed me that Rosa Parks was very stubborn - in a good way - and he wants to be stubborn in a good way too. LOL!

Maybe I can use that from now on??? "No dear, you're being stubborn in a NOT good way now. So please stop." Yeah, I see that helping!

He, he, I used to have problems with throwing old socks away, no matter how many holes in them, DS still refused to part with them.

My DH is my trouble in the holey apparel department. I learned that I shouldn't *ask* if it's okay to get rid of the underwear with the gaping holes by the elastic waistband; I should just toss 'em!





Actually, he's the one I'm not sure is GT, since he's not yet reading, etc. More denial, huh? I admit that after the HG+ one, my GT-radar may be a bit off...

Oh, and when I told DS3 that we couldn't buy a time machine because they don't exist IRL, he fell apart all over again. He decided he was going to go out to the garage and build one. "When you grow up," I told him, "but not now."

Ah, the tears when I refused to let him loose in Daddy's workshop alone! The tragedy!

Who does that?

Ok, I'm going back to the original question.

Amy, I was in a similar situation to you where my child was denied services but it turns out he is a 2e and when I went with all my research and excitement over being able to discuss this, I was met with a brick wall and a "why do YOU need him labeled GT. What's in it for YOU?" To say I felt I'd been slapped in the face would be an understatement.

The best advice I got was from this board and it was to really examine whether the program was worth the fight or not. He's already in a accelerated magnet program and the GT program is just a 1 hour a week pull out and I have decided the GT teacher is an idiot (she's the one with the above comments) so I decided that it was not worth the fight. My child's needs are currently being met. He has a fabulous teacher who gets his problems and is encouraging and supportive and he is thriving. And that for me, is enough for right now.

So I guess my advice is the same as others here have given, really assess the situation and decide if the program is worth it and whether her needs are currently being met or not. And then you can decide whether it really is worth your fighting it or not.

Good luck!!!

OMG Dottie,
that was me at that age! I almost made the family miss a airplane because I wanted to shake hands individually with each tree in our years before we left for vacation. That's logical, isn't it?

Grins

((Head nodding)) Not reading at age 3! Hee Hee! DS11 wasn't reading until age 6. They are all different.

Grinns

Hi AmyEJ,
Welcome! I'm so excited that you found us!

Ramble some more and see if you can verbalize the 'feel it coming' thing.

Is K a full day or a half day?

I totally encourage you to take this up a level, on your own if hiring a lawyer is too expensive or confusing. What do you have to lose? Nothing!

Teachers make all the difference at this age - so that means you are one 'bad' teacher away from disaster - I'd be worried about that. Plus you live in a district where the GT coordinator hasn't heard of the WPPSI, I'd be worried about that too!

If your daughter has issues with anxiety, since age 3, and perfectionism, then you have to be extra careful ((While trying to look relaxed, of course, the whole time, BTW does anxiety run in the family?))

The key to getting rid of the perfectionism is to allow her to work at her readiness level on a daily basis. I love the idea of child-led learning, but if she isn't getting it at school, I also want you to start 'expecting and demanding' that she work at her readiness level afterschool on a daily basis. If you can't do it reliably, hire a tutor, or a high school kid to come over. Going to school to enjoy friends is fine - AS LONG AS the child is 'learning how to learn' and learning that streaching herself is 'just what people do.' Particularly if you are already seeing Perfectionism.

Grinity's definition of Perfectionism in Gifted Kids: "Oh my, this work is weirdly easy, why do they give me this baby stuff, it must be because they think I'm stupid. I'll show them I'm not stupid, and do it perfectly. But what if I really am Stupid?"

You are her mom. YOu are worried. Either you are a person who worries excessivly, or you have something real, but hard to define, to worry about, OR BOTH!

I'm not suggesting that you only allow her to learn what you want her to learn, but that you introduce the idea that even for 5 minutes, 5 days a week, you will be giving that supported push, in one of her areas of strength. It did make sense for you to back off back then, but now is now.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

Oh Kriston - average 3 year olds wouldn't even get a time machine! That little guy is going to surprise you one of these days. My DS didn't read willingly until 5 and now he's stealing books off my book shelf.

And yes - MY IL's were responsible for the horrible lavender Dora chair that clashed with the sage green thing I've got going here. Ugh.

Grinity - glad I'm in good company with being over the top emotional as a child. Cute story!

I haven't visited the boards in a few days because my mom called in the middle of Tuesday night and said my dad was being put in ICU because of internal bleeding in his GI tract. It's been a roller coaster because of transferring him to different hospitals but things are really good now. He's out of ICU and should go home tomorrow. I'm so glad that I live near my parents and was able to be there with my mom. And of course we're so glad that the problem was caught and was able to heal without surgery.

I had posted here originally because I was looking for perspective. Your responses certainly helped with that, and then my dad's incident sent me on over to the other side.

We're still going to appeal to the district (April 10 is the day; I have another 15 minutes!), though we're not confident that it will do any good. But bottom line: I want to make sure that I ENJOY my kids. We certainly never know what's around the corner with life. Besides, they grow up way too fast. So we'll see what happens and be prepared to make changes as necessary; I'm going to chill out a bit on the worrying, though.

Thanks again for your help. You have given great advice, brought smiles to my face, and made me laugh, as well. Amy