Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Emotional Baggage and Parenting a Gifted Kid

I worry that DS will get DH and my depression along with the GTness. If he does, I�d like to be able to identify it early on and get him help ASAP. The depression exacerbated problems with my perfectionism. One bad grade turned into more bad grades, b/c if I couldn�t do it well I didn�t want to do it at all. School counselors and teachers thought I wasn�t challenged enough and was being lazy. What I actually needed was therapy.

Srry I missed this for so long Ann,but I can reccomend any book by Martin Seligman, but particularly "The optomistic child." Have you read it?

Of course my answer is to that the BEST way to fight perfectionsim in children is to Make surE that they spend a good deal of their learning time at their 'readiness level.' And of course how you treat them makes some difference as well. Prasing traits that they have some control over is the name of the game, and intercepting those comments on the street if possible.

Good luck,
Grinity

Hi Aimee, welcome!
I think that the above idea is wonderful, although it still might not quite do the trick, so I think that you should look for opportunities when DH gets judgemental at YOU, and figure out how to break through his ODP (other directed perfectionism) ASAP. Some people just don't realize that everyone isn't as they are - and are continually dissapointed. In the adult world, experience in some narrow little area counts for so much that I think it's easy to assume that all competent-at-their-jobs people are 'the same.'

Well good luck, and try Greenspan's book, "Freeing our families from perfectionism."

Smiles,
Grinity

I haven't read it. I'll pick it up. Thanks for your insight and support Grinity. I appreciate it. ((hugs))