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    There are two parts of this thread I wanted to comment:

    Skipping and the lost age of innocence: I went to a talk last week by a noted psychologist, How to be a Go To Parent. And she talked about how common oral sex is in middle school, and drugs and alcohol. Although we want the educational skip, the social issues of skipping our kids is very scary. They are so young after acceleration in middle school and dealing with very grown up issues. This is complex.

    Second, I grew up in the neighborhood described a few pages back. No fences, a kazillion kids to play with as soon as you stepped out the door.

    Last summer at the beach, my 2 year old said she heard her friends (windows were open) and ran outside to play with them. And when we lived in the "Beach" in Toronto for a year when she was born, it was within the city, but the beach is like a village and she could play with the neighbor kids (though she was too young to do it on her own) we would take a walk after dinner and it would often end up as an impromptu play date. But I would see older kids doing it on their own. I don't think you can be as laissez faire as our parents on where your kids are, but there are places to live where kids can still ride their bikes to the park or the "candy" store.

    Ren

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    Thanks for all the discussion. Apparently, the teachers spoke to DS about what he didn't like about school yesterday. They're clearly concerned and preparing for our meeting next week. DS did not mention the work, but he talked about his problems with distractions and his intense dislike of their disciplinary system. (It's rarely applied to him, but he lives in fear of it.). He said he felt like he was being interrogated by the police, even though they were very nice about it. He was afraid to tell them that he hated school. Today, however, he seemed at peace with the challenge work.
    I need to come up with concrete suggestions for Wednesday. I think I'll do what so many of you have done about educating the teachers and principal about PG kids, and their unique issues. The nice thing is that they really do care and are trying to help. The big issue is whether they are willing to do something out of the ordinary for him. I'm no longer nervous about Wednesday. Unlike his last school, I don't feel they'll be adversarial.

    Last edited by questions; 03/08/08 09:27 AM. Reason: fix typos, now that I'm back on the computer
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    I'm glad, Questions. So what concrete things are you planning to say on Wed.? Want any help laying out your "speech"?


    Kriston
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    Absolutely. Thank you. U'm still waiting to hear from his tutor and OT re: what they think we should ask for the make school better for him. Not sure what the answer is.
    Ideas:

    Access to distance learning courses during the day

    More projects so that he can go into things in more detail. For the first time, they have him a list of follow-up questions for him to research at home based on a presentation he made to the class.

    Other research projects so he can get the information he craves.

    Access to quiet time - maybe he can do some work in the school library during the day.
    Just for starters...

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    Sounds good. When will you hear from your stable of pros?

    (Did you realize you have a stable? wink )


    Kriston
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    We're back from the meeting.

    The teachers and staff are incredibly nice and caring and they truly want DS to be happy. We met for two hours, and decided on the following two things, with a follow up meeting scheduled for the week after vacation to see how things are working.

    For math, he will be preassessed before every chapter and if he's mastered the material, he will do challenge problems rather than the regular work during regular work time. FYI, they gave him the year end test and there were a few things he didn't know yet. They don't do the 85% thing, they don't even score it. They just expect him to know everything in the curriculum. I know it's wrong, but we'll try it. Fact is they showed us some problems DS had trouble conceptualizing, so giving him more complicated problems that require thought is a good thing. If we insisted on it, they would let him access the online courses, but for now we'll try their way and see what happens.

    They also agreed to create an "office" in the classroom he (and the other kids, so there's no stigma) can use to get away from the noise and distractions.

    As for GT, the principal doesn't believe in it for k-2. He did away with it this year with the belief that school should be about inclusion, and that the teachers should gear the instruction to the individual student. Not worth arguing about it - nothing will change.

    So that leaves me thinking, we'll try this approach and hope it works, and continue the distance learning at home, and mix it up with some Singapore math type problems for which he has to use pencil and paper routinely. They suggested he continue what he does at home, even though I said I want him to play when he's home. (Oh, and socially, he's telling everyone how smart he is. That took me by surprise, that's for sure - I'll go back and read that other thread.)

    The good thing is that the teachers are willing to work with us and continue to meet with us, so we don't feel the need just yet to pull him out of school. It's definitely a better situation than last year's and he has made great progress in other areas (reading, writing, raising his hand, etc.) I think what he really has to work on is motivation, and I suppose the ultimate question is whether this regular second grade classroom is destroying his motivation. That's what I focused on - that he now thinks all he has to do is do the work, not necessarily well, and the teachers will be pleased. We asked that they help him hold himself to a higher standard.

    Thank you all for your support and good advice.


    Last edited by questions; 03/12/08 11:50 AM.
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    It sounds like a productive meeting, if not the ideal results. Not at all bad though, and it at least sounds collegial and friendly. That goes a long way, I think, as long as they're not just shining you on...

    How do you feel?


    Kriston
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    Pretty good, actually. There is definitely a dialog, and his teachers, the learning consultant (that's the head of the child study team in our district, not our paid consultant - we sure could use one of those!!) and the principal all care about DS and want him to be happy and successful, and to fit into the group.

    I also feel very focused. I have a better idea of what DS needs and what I have to do. I will work on his motivation and challenge at home. I'm not happy about making him go to school at school and then come home and go to school at home, but we need to assess the social issues for our DS (mostly, whether it's better for him ultimately to learn how to problem solve in an environment that's not ideal, or even not that great, for him) before we begin homeschooling. Today just buys us some time. DS will feel better that something is being done and we'll see what happens.

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    Questions,
    I'm so glad you are getting at least some things to try with the school. I'm going to take your challenge question option into my meeting next month. If they won't allow a distance learning self paced program or a subject skip, maybe they will do that at least.
    We are still working on trying to decide if it is better for DS to learn how to manage in the public school or home school him so he can learn but may miss out on learning how to find his place in a group.

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    Oh, forgot to mention. I tried to put the conversation in the context of GT, as the weaknesses are being addressed well by the IEP but the GT has been ignored. I mentioned the PG characteristics on the Davidson site, such as perfectionism, extreme sensitivity and difficulty with boring, repetitive work. Their immediate response: maybe we misclassified him if all these things are standard with GT kids, and he shouldn't have an IEP. I backpedaled wildly on that one and said 2E, 2E, 2E.

    elh0706 - the other thing I mentioned that may be helpful for you is something I heard from our OT - it takes so much mental energy for him to be focused to do his work that he is rightfully upset when he sees what the work is. I had to work so hard for that?!

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