Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy We're on the verge...

I loved hearing all the stories about neighborhoods. I think in general, there are far fewer of the old fashioned neighborhoods, and that parents keep their kids closer to home. It is cool to know that some of our kids can actually walk to a friend's house.

Kriston, I wasn't kidding about the llamas and alpacas! We also have tons of wildlife, similar to CFK's area. Earlier this week, a flock of 25 turkeys strolled through our front yard. We have foxes, coyotes, deer, fishers, all sorts of turtles, woodchucks... and a bear was sighted on the woodland path behind our house just before we moved in. Apparently, it scared the daylights out of a nun out for a walk to the rest home! A few years ago there was a moose involved in a car accident on our street too. Unfortunately, all this wilderness comes with a price- we have terrible problems with deer ticks. I'd like to get chickens to free range and eat them up, or maybe guinea fowl, as they are even better tick eating machines.

I think it is awful to give a gifted student work to do during play time. What kind of message does that send? Shut up and act normal, or I'll give you more work?

Truth be told... Public school education for my kids has been good for the most part. It has allowed me to be very active with their schools, classes, and other volunteer projects. My kids have enjoyed playing with other kiddos. Not every year was valuable. There was a troubled year with awful teacher. I volunteered to teach science to the class for a year and taught art to the class for a year. We've brought in guest speakers, German lessons (1 yr), Spanish Lessons (3 yrs), and coordinated lots of field trips. Our Charter middle school is terrific--very enriched curriculum, though the oldest didn't get the math acceleration he needed, so we did EPGY at home. Elementary & Middle were small, contained--there were so many was I could participate and make it better.

High School, however, is hands-off. I keep thinking it'd be so much better to homeschool oldest DS; first off--he doesn't want it. I happened to find my high school year book(from about 25 yrs ago) yesterday and paged through it. I remember those days so well. The teachers' names, friends, everything. While, there were plenty of things I didn't like at that time, it was still such a wealth of learning experiences. I wouldn't want DS not to have those kind of memories--just working alone, at home, with a computer. DS loves being on the golf team, robotics competitions, French class, etc.

One other note about working in groups. This seems to be more and more emphasized in schools, with the idea that it simulates workforce dynamics. True, when I was working, I had to work on teams, mentor new people, coordinate efforts, etc. I had the tendency of doing a lot of the work myself, because it was easier than having to re-do what others worked on later, and more reliable. But, I learned that teams, onced trained, could be efficient, and were a part of life. When I was pregnant (several times), I appreciated teams, because I needed them to cover for me when I was on leave. I was determined to prepare my co-workers to make it seamless.

My kids have had to be on teams with kids they don't like, kids that don't work, and then also with kids they both liked and who worked. I've had to talk to teachers when there were problems with others not doing their parts, and convince my guys that sometimes they had to do more than their share to get the job done. They don't seem to work on teams so much in high school, but I don't think it was bad to have had to do it earlier.

questions,

Don't back down so easily. Could be that's what they are counting on. If I e-mailed the principal, principal would never respond. If I questioned this, I would get a good natured smile and diatribe on spam filters and a pat on the head. "Now go out and play".
Call and leave a message with the school secretary. Make it clear that you want a meeting. Get your tester involved if that would help. If your request is ignored go to the district. You might be surprised at how receptive the superintendant can be. Or not, but you'll never know unless you pursue it.
Keep smiling, keep calm, keep professional and friendly. But don't just stop asking for accomodations.
I'm in a similar boat with DS5 in K. I was supposed to hear from the social worker 3 weeks ago! I've left 2 messages from principal so far. I am busy hatching my next devious plan. I'm not sure what it will be, but it won't entail leaving it alone.

Incog

If you find a good HSing group, all that stuff is still available. For example, we've got jr. high and high school kids working on the Olympics--our HS group is trying out every sport in the 2008 summer Olympics--and those who don't feel like doing the sports stuff can work as helpers. The cameraderie is great. We had roughly 120 kids at a gymnastics event on Sunday! It was a sight to see! And it cost $7 a head for 4+ hours of gymnastics instruction on every kind of equipment available.

There are also science fairs, sports teams, foreign language classes, etc. available. Different areas are different, and our area has a particularly active HSing population. But I'd bet that if you look around, you could find something comparable in your area.

I'm not trying to persuade you to HS, cym. And if your DS isn't interested, then that's really the end of the discussion as far as I'm concerned. But I always hate to hear someone dismissing HSing as an option because of an inaccurate perception of HSing as "a kid and a computer, alone."

And just to punctuate the point, remember that my biggest problem with HSing is that we're spending so doggone much time with other people! We're TOO social, not alone enough!

Oh, and INTJs tend to dislike working in teams. We'd rather just do it ourselves to be sure it's done right.

Since there are so many of us here, I suspect the forum bias will be decidedly against teams.

Again, I second 'Neato. This is warpath-worthy stuff, Questions. A friendly, polite warpath. But a warpath nonetheless.

Don't take no for an answer. Your DS deserves better!

Luckily, DS did get off to school today. That's a relief.

FYI, when I said 5/20 kids are doing the challenge work, that doesn't mean it's a group project. DS would love a group project. It just means that there are four other children in his class getting math sheets during playtime and NOT COMPLAINING. That's the kicker.

I emailed last night saying that when I asked that he get more challenging work, I meant during work time. Extra work on top of regular work feels like punishment to him. I'd rather he play during play time.

I haven't gone to the principal yet, as I have access to the learning consultant through the IEP. She said she'd try to get him the computer time.

HSing is a tough decision. He does not like being an only child and wants more friends to play with. He gave a girl in his class a big hello this am, and he's a kid who asked that we go the orphanage and get him a sibling for Christmas; now he's asking that we become foster parents. (Kriston, you're clearly right about outsiders' perception of HSing.)

Still, there's no doubt that he wants to be homeschooled - at least he thinks he does. I think I might go to a few of the HS group activities while he's in school and take a look and make some more contacts.

And before we do anything, we will speak to the principal.

We had to homeschool and there are days when I still feel really sad that my son doesn't have a childhood like I remember with lots of kids to play with at recess and also kids in the neighborhood to play with in the evening.

At home my son doesn't have to deal with bullies and he can learn the way he learns best, but I still feel like something is missing. He has once a week musical theater classes with other kids and he does cub scouts once a week, but that is all. So a few hours a week, he is with other kids. He says he is happy and he never wants to go back to school but he says he wouldn't mind going to just band or a one hour a week gifted class or just hang out on a playground with other kids at school, just so he could get to know some of them. He doesn't fit in with any of the kids in our homeschool group.

Yesterday, I finally sent letters to my state legislators asking them to consider requiring our public schools to provide a part time school option for children with special educational needs. Last year I sent emails to the state superintendent of public schools, several people with the education department and even the governor with no response other than some brief reply saying they were forwarding my message to the superintendent of public schools. I wasted all that time sending emails and the only person who bothered to call me and really talk to me was a woman with the gifted coordinator's office who told me that it wasn't fair that my son couldn't get an appropriate education in our public schools or play with other kids on the playground during school hours, but there was no law in Oklahoma requiring them to provide an appropriate education for twice exceptional children and that I should write letters to my legislators about it instead of sending emails. She wished me luck, but said there wasn't really anything else she could do. She said she thought I was doing the right thing by homeschooling my twice exceptional son and to remember that "he is worth it."

My husband and I struggle financially to provide the things our son needs. I see that my son's friends in public school get to take band and a one hour a week gifted class that I think my son should be able to take but can't because he is homeschooled and it just isn't fair, especially considering that even the superintendent or our school told me I needed to homeschool when I talked to him about my son's testing results. His comment to me at that time was "This is a good problem to have."

Even some of the homeschoolers are against part time school because they say the government will try to get involved in their lives if homeschoolers start attending the "government school" part time. Some of them see me as a trouble maker because I am trying to get help in educating my son, so I don't do much with our local homeschool group.

In our small town the school seems to be the center of the community and they all seem to value sports more than education. Our town has a nice football field and they recently added a skate park, but no library, because a lot of people here are not interested in reading. I feel like we are cut off from what is happening in the community and we don't fit in. My uncle is the town mayor and even he is more interested in sports than reading. He doesn't see any need for a library.

I would move if I could, but I can't.