Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Quick rant....

I emailed DS7's teacher this morning to try and plan a meeting including everyone who is involved with his education. The plan was to work out an educational plan so that next year he didn't have to spend 3/4 of the year bored to tears like he did this year. Whether that involved a skip, or something else, was up in the air - I was open to all kinds of suggestions. I received a return email from the teacher from a grade ahead who teaches his math class...."With all due respect, weren't you bored in elementary school? And you have a Masters' degree...."
Really? A TEACHER, of all people, is telling me that it's okay for a child to be bored and not learn anything in school?!? Although I don't like the idea, and I don't think it will be possible with me working full time, homeschooling is looking better every day.

The snarky reply that came to mind is "I didn't have a car seat either and survived but that doesn't mean my son should have gone without one." Hopefully someone else has a more gracious reply for you.

Have you already sent this teacher What a Child Doesn't Learn? Sounds as though she needs a copy...

And sympathy. I'd be tempted to respond in all caps, YES AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHY I AM ADVOCATING FOR MY CHILD!!!! [except that actually I wasn't, my elementary school was sort of OK]

Yuck. I would go to the school's website and copy their mission statement. Those usually include something like "Helping every child reach his full potential."

Colinsmum, that is brilliant! I'm adding that to my arsenal of stuff to take in when I have this meeting. Which willl, by the way, happen whether that one teacher likes it or not.

Ah Treecritt -
I share your pain, but remember: You fired the first shot by using the forbidden 'b' word.

Do I think it's rediculous that bored will ruffle feathers? I do, but still, It will.

So you have to say: (whichever is true) He cries because he is jealous that the other children get to learn, He has stomach aches on school days, He is becoming a class clown, He kicks up a fuss about going to school at least once a week and it's wearing me out, plus
He isn't learning that learning can be a challenge and that that is ok. He is starting to think that 'being smart' means that he'll never have to be challenged, like I did, and that someday he'll meet a challenge and stop thinking he's smart, like I did. He deserves the same opportunity to engage with the challenge of learning as the kid sitting next to him - so what do we do to give him that level playing field?

Peace Hands Bow,
Grinity

Deep breathes. Honestly, a lot of what Grinity said. I know how hard it is (our meeting about next year is tomorrow, and I suspect I will be here tomorrow night venting myself) but you have to ignore that kind of junk and just stay focused on what you want. That doesn't mean you cannot politely work to inform them (i.e. "What a Child Doesn't Learn" is very smart), but IMHO the best thing to do is to refuse to engage.

Another option is to engage very earnestly. For example, say very sweetly and gently, "I am not sure I understand your comment about being bored. I am certain that you are not suggesting that it is okay for him to not learn during school. . ." Sometimes this approach can disarm them.

Don't feel bad about using the B word. I should know better, but I used it with my DD's teacher this winter, and the result was exactly what I should have expecte. I said it very gently, but still got the defensive posturing and then she spoke to my DD5, asked her what she found "boring" and then proceeded to tell her she had to be bored and do those things so that she would be ready for 1st grade - now my DD5 thinks that going to school is supposed to be boring because that is how you get ready for the next grade!

((shivering))
Somehow we think that teacher surely wouldn't take out their hurt feelings on our kids - but some do, and will.

I agree that the gentle/earnest approach does work well, if one can pull it off. Practice in the mirror. Quivery eyelids and all.

Best Wishes,
Grinity

When teachers say school is sometimes going to be boring there is a grain of truth in their views, for at least two reason. First, no two children in a 20-student class are in exactly the same place and learn at exactly the same rate, so there will be times when children are being taught what they already know. Second, sometimes children may need to learn some things that they do find boring, whether its the multiplication tables or names and dates in history.

Parents should not expect their children never to be bored, and teachers should not expect children to be satisfied with never learning anything new and always being bored. It sounds like the teacher who emailed the OP is not even trying to meet the needs of the child.

Excellent point!