Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Race to Nowhere- any thoughts?

I think this is the main problem. I read her posts to be about her struggles and her daughter and I think others are reading it as 'soapbox' talk directed towards them. But to answer your question, if someone stated the above comment in reference to hearing what my DD does, I would probably laugh and say something along the lines of "I'm glad to hear it. I certainly am not telling you what to do with your child just as I would ask you for the same respect."

Really? If somebody observed your daughter's precocious development and commented that they aren't going to push or encourage their kids to race you wouldn't in any way find that to be a negative comment? To me words like "pushing" and "racing" are the sort of negative assumptions that parents of gifted kids hear a lot and they don't reflect a good understanding of the development of gifted children.

So, I'll say it again, if it would feel like racing or pushing to radically accelerate that is probably a sign the child doesn't need it. For me having an 11 year old in college felt no more like racing than having a 3 year old reading or doing multiplication. It felt like going at a totally normal pace because for this child it is normal and nonrushed development.

Yes, really. And I've heard it already. I guess I don't take things so personally. I also fully believe that we all have to find the right path for our own child and unless that person has walked a mile in my shoes they really don't understand it. Now if they ask me why and really care to understand then I will take the time to explain it. I do believe it is important for us to educate when we can. I have a group of friends that all have MG kids and we get together a lot and the conversation always circles back to the kids. I was hesitant to say anything at first but they knew quickly that DD was different from their girls (all the same age). Through our lengthy conversations they have accepted and even encouraged us. We live in a highly acclaimed school district with lots of gifted children, yet they were the first to comment on how DD would never be challenged if we put her in our local school. And we haven't. She goes to an academic school which is 2 years ahead of public school but even this isn't enough for DD, yet her personality is the type where she will patiently wait for the teacher to introduce something. When she entered the school she had already mastered all of the curriculum up through the 4 year old class which equates to 1st grade but she had the cushion of learning it all new in Spanish. We no longer have that cushion and now we are back to what now? We don't want to move her out of the program because we have already invested in foreign language and don't want her to lose it. So we have a few options: push to accelerate her which we might have to but we will see during this next year or provide enrichment at home. We are doing the later and she is excited to come home and do her 'homework'. She is now asking to do more math, but only at home and only with us. I don't know if she will ever be the type to ask her teacher or even show her teacher her full potential but I do hope she does at some point.

I love hearing about kids, like your son, where he wouldn't be happy just sitting in a class being bored and needed the acceleration to survive. I'm not saying it is easier by any means but from my perspective it would be a lot easier for me if DD was more like that. It would really help me gauge what she needs. Hmmm... I'm getting longwinded here but I guess what I'm trying to say is there is a gray area with these kids. The idea that if a child isn't acting out or isn't screaming about boredom than they clearly aren't in need of acceleration isn't one I agree with. My DD is the type that won't but she is still PG and way out of the box, but because of her personality I don't see us accelerating her anytime soon.

Yes exactly. Each student should be able to move at a the pace most appropriate to his/her needs.

I agree that the working world is hard (as I mentioned in another message), but I think that the problems encountered by HG+ people at school and work are two very different things.

Val

I agree if your child is like Kit Armstrong or Terrance Tao, it isn't a choice. The system will rapidly accelerate them. And I said that in my case DD's IQ wasn't PG+ that warranted super acceleration. Though I do recognize she needs some and I image it will increase but I am not sure how and when and how much.

I want her to be challenged and have good habits as a result but as a mother bear, I don't want her to have to rush. And I use the word again. Rush.

I do want her to enjoy being a child as long as possible.

Ren

Terry Tao's acceleration was anything but automatic. There are various articles, e.g. this one I like this quote:

I don't see why grade skipping = rush. Just because you finish high school when you're say, 16, doesn't mean that you have to go straight to college. Here are options we've tossed out to my eldest:

* Do a year overseas via AFS or one of the other programs for teenagers. Learn a new language or improve the one you already speak! Meet new people! Have fun!

* Get an exotic internship (e.g. marine biology on Andros Island in the Bahamas).

* Focus on that sport/that instrument/your art/whatever.

* Get a part-time job and attend a local community college part-time. Take cool courses that you might not have time for when you're in a four-year college (Ceramics! Astronomy! Biotechnology! History of western Africa!). You might discover that you really want to major in astronomy instead of going the pre-law route.

* Thinking of med school? Do an EMT course and spend some time in an ER and on an ambulance.

* All or some of the above.

To DH and I (and our son) this stuff sounds great and is a universe away from "rushing." For us, it's anti-rushing.

I'm assuming every single parent here wants their child to enjoy childhood. Different kids demand different approaches to achieving that goal. For our child, radical acceleration has been the road to a happy childhood. It is weird to even entertain that anyone would consider it rushed as it feels totally the opposite of that.

I would not at all assume "the system" will take care of kids who are extreme outliers and need something different than the traditional path. Plenty of highly gifted kids don't get their needs met and many end up dropping out of high school.

Both Terrance Tao and Kit Armstrong were identified by the system. Your quote by Tao's father illustrates that. I am talking about PG+. Kids that can do calculus in their heads by 5.

There are big differences in levels even in PG.

Val, those are options we are trying to enjoy now. Part of her life as part of horizontal diversification. We just went to Egypt and did a unit study on ancient Egyptian history. Last year we went to Europe in April and did a unit study on the Roman period and in Feb it was Hawaii and she whale watched, snorkeled, went into a submarine and saw sharks eating on the reef and saw volcanoes and we did the whole volcano national park thing. Polynesian cultural center and history of the polynesian islands. I expect her to finish high school by 16 but it doesn't mean you cannot do those things now.

But getting into a sport is not a viable option. I was into a sport. You start early and let it consume your life by the time you are 16. You don't know about getting into a sport.

Ren

What? Terry was identified by his parents. The quote is referring to his parents mistaken assumption that the system would identify his needs and that in putting him into the school system early they'd done their bit. His first school failed him utterly. Later, he was accelerated because his parents carefully chose a school that would do this and took part in the decisions throughout.
You're surely not excluding Terry Tao, the youngest ever IMO gold medallist, the Fields Medal winner? He's as PG as humans come. (He was very sensibly not exposed to calculus at age 5 - but maybe I'm taking you too literally. I'm confused about what your point is here.)