Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy New to the forum and need advice - please

Hi there, I'm looking for advice on my gifted 4 year old. She is completing her 2nd yr at a Montessori - which was great for her. She is very creative but is very tired after school, I'm not sure if this is because she is constantly analyzing or not stimulated enough. Now I have 2 choices for K + and there are pros and cons.

School A - private school (cost isn't a factor), 10min away, half day M-F (even in high shcool done early), no projects, no iip, will do what they can with her to keep her challenged, K-12, highly academic, no arts, no music, no physed (these have to be done outside of school).

School B - accepted into gifted school via tests, etc (only one in the area), 20min away on a clear day - 45min on a snow day, full days (2x a week in K and then M-F afterwards), projects, iip, K-9, arts, music, etc - charter school.

I'm having a really hard time making a decision. The main factors are the distance the being in school from 8:30-3:30 in K.

Any feedback is greatly appreciated.

Thanks so much!

How long has the charter school been around? Can you get any 'reviews' on either school? They both sound like they have some great pros.
Is you daughter tired on other days of the week? Has the teacher noticed the tiredness, and if so, does she have any thoughts (when it starts, what might be a factor).

#1 - go and plant your backside in a few different age group rooms at both school. Observe what the readiness level is of the kids at each school. Observe what do the teachers do when they don't know something, or -gasp- are caught being wrong by one of the students. What about when a student is making 'off topic' remarks and questions where you see the connection but the teach doesn't - does the signal to the class that little Alfred is always 'off in the clouds' and doesn't need to be heard? Or does the teacher have some respectful way to get the class back on track? Or does the teacher get Alfred into a classroom where we will have peers who are real peers and can learn from his question?

Just because the charter school says it's for gifted kids, doesn't mean it will be a good fit for your gifted kid. You have to observe the classrooms and see what is exactly going on in there.

It sounds like the half day program is good for your DD's physical stamina right now, can you move to the charter later after she grows up a bit?

I wouldn't worry about the lack of PE, Music, etc, because with the gift of time, you can do that easily on your own, and do so in a way that allows her to be with agemates, if that turns out to be a good thing. Assuming that you have the kind of worklife that can work around a heavy chauffeur role. Also, I'm assuming that other kids who attend the school have found ways to fill in the gaps and you can make a carpool with some of them.

I love the idea of local and short - just eyeball both schools and make sure you are speaking the same language - so often when dealing with schools one hears all the right words, but comes to find out that those words have totally different meaning in the minds of the speakers. So a school tour isn't enough.

Love and More Love,
Grinity

HI Peakmom, welcome.

Can you describe what you mean by "very tired" after school. Is it a go home and nap tired, a go home and melt-down tired, or a quiet post-school lull?

If I understand, you are trying to determine if your dd will be more tired after a shorter window of intense academics or if she will find a longer day, with "mental" breaks for gym or art or music more tiring.

Do you have other children you will need to work around schedule-wise? How involved do you want to be? The private school is a little like homeschooling in the non-academic subjects.

Along with sitting in the classroom you'll want to see how flexible the administration is. Would they grade skip and/or subject accelerate at some point if it is time for more challenge? And, for me, a critical question, have they already done these interventions with another child? If they have never accelerated a child is hard to determine how much resistance you might meet when it is no longer just a theoretical discussion.

Anyway over here we are so busy after school stacking dance, music, enrichment, rehearsal, that we are often running right up until dinner time. How great would it be to have a head start on those activities, and have a group of children who can self-selected on which activities sound fun for them to form a carpool.

And never discount proximity to school. I drive 20 min to school and I will admit it has affected my willingness to participate at the school if it means an additional trip. Driving there a third time to attend a board meeting, or a volunteer meeting, etc is just not high on my list. We are changing schools for next year, and driving distance has been an important consideration.

Thank you so much for the responses.
The charter school is one of the first one's in the country, I'm not sure on the number of years - but I'd say awhile. The private school has also been around for a long time. I have researched reviews on both schools and I really can't find much - alittle more with the private school. i have tired contacting a parent of the gifted school for feedback but so far no response.

When I say my daughter is tired, she's just not one of these kids that runs around crazy. She's calm, very cautious. I did get blood work done because I thought something was wrong. I was told (but I'm not sold on this) that it was because she is constantly analysing that she wears herself out. She never naps, and hasn't done so since about a year old. I find after she eats or a change of pace (a new activity) then she's fine. She does do gymnastics and swimming and talks Mandarin lessons twice a week as well.

The private school has told me they operate as one solid unit. I talked about grade advancement even in a subject or two and they feel it woudl throw things off as she progresses through the grades in school. They basically told me they would give her extra work - but I'm assuming this would be irrelevant work. They are an aggressive academic school, for example physics, bio and chemistry in grade 7 and an addition 2 languages. They do say if a child doesn't get in at K and enters at a higher grade that they will be too far behind.

The gifted school has also told me that even though she is operating at a higher level they will not advance her. Even in grade 1, I believe the only class she can advance in is math.

Both have told me that regardless I will have to do projects or more with her at home - which I am prepared to do. I work from home, so if it means I'm working later at night so be it.

Right now I'm leaning towards the private school and then either correspondance course (which I think will be abit of a battle with my daughter) or on-line course (she loves computers so she would be more interested in this). Any experiences with either of these?

Thanks again!