Hi kaboom, I'm sorry your DS is going through this. I second La Texican's advice about checking out SENG to find out more about the emotional needs of your child, and possibly talking with a psychologist.
As for whether you should wait to see what the school proposes, I would say no. If your DS was supposed to get an IEP, and you've heard nothing for a month, I would suggest calling them immediately to set up a meeting. That is, if you have any reasons to think that the school might be able to offer your DS some appropriate accommodations.
From what you've told us, your DS is working several levels beyond grade level, and staying at grade level for anything academic makes no sense. Even with a grade skip, he would still be working beyond the other kids. If you think it would work for your DS personality-wise, do you think there are options at the school for subject acceleration to the appropriate levels?
If FT homeschooling is an option, I would lean toward that if I were in your situation (meaning a school that is not giving appropriate differentiation, no gifted schools nearby, and the different levels he's ahead in different subjects). I think it would only benefit your DS's psychological health at this point. Can your DS still participate in sports if you are homeschooling FT? Homeschooling is a way to ensure that your DS is getting appropriate work at his levels.
Sorry I'm rambling. Good luck.
