I know this will be long-winded, but I'll try to get to the point. This is my first time participating in a gifted discussion board. I've spent the past two hours reading postings and trying to learn from all of you. (by the way what is DYS?)
I have a gifted daughter who just turned 4. She's seen a psych. in my area each year since age 2 after I noticed some very advanced behaviors. She's tested at gifted each time and will be tested again this spring. The psych. suggested at age 2 that I place her in a preschool with 3-year-olds.
I quickly found out that it's against state law. Being a teacher myself, I decided to check out a Montessori school - I like the philosophy and she can learn at her own pace. This worked out great the first year. We moved last fall and, as luck would have it, there is a Montessori school nearby. I checked out the preschool room, talked to the teacher and assistant for an hour and decided to place her there. The teacher and I have something in common - we both have 2 children with the younger being gifted and the older more typically developing. I thought this was a great situation because we'd probably be considering early placement into Kindergarten this fall. Both teachers seemed open to this concept. My daughter had a good year.
At her first teacher conference in the fall, her teachers said, "she chooses materials from all subject areas on her own, uses them correctly, catches on quickly, puts things away, plays alone, plays with others, follows directions, and we never have to discipline her." (I was a bit shocked at the last part!) I mentioned again that we were considering early K entrance. They responded by saying that she would be fine academically, but they thought it might be a long day for her. I said I understood what they meant but we're talking about 10 months from now - we should revisit the subject in the spring. Since then I've spoken to other teachers and administrators at the school who don't even know my child and they all seem to have the "children shouldn't be pushed" attitude.
Please know I would never think of pushing my children! She is flying away on her own.
Her spring conference was last week. The teachers expressed the same opinions - my daughter should spend another year in preschool. This time they said she is not ready academically for their particular program and used different forms of the word "push" several times in our conversation. At this point, I'm sick of people insinuating that I want to "push" my child into anything! I mentioned that my daughter told me she's not allowed to use certain materials in the classroom because they are only for the K students and she must have been mistaken. They said she was telling the truth and she would need to develop certain other skills first.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that Maria Montessori's philosophy was a constructivist approach. How can my daughter construct meaning on a higher level when she's being denied the opportunity to use the materials! I'm very disappointed and lost. I liked these teachers and thought they would be more supportive of my daughters needs. I'm sure that I could speak to the director and maybe get them to allow her to go into the K classroom next year, but I don't want her to be in an environment where she might not feel welcome. I left the meeting and cried and then became very angry. I began to question myself and my own opinion. I really want to do what I think is best for my daughter, she only gets one shot at growing up. I tried to look it from another perspective, but picturing her entering K in 1 and 1/2 years seems absurd to me! She is so ready now.
I'm left with limited options: I can try to get her into the public school where my other daughter attends, but she misses the deadline for early entrance by 5 days - I'd have to convince the principal; I can check out the local Catholic school's policy on early entrance (I've toured the school and it's pretty good); or I can send her back to the Montessori school to preschool again or cause a stink and try to get her into the K program there against the teachers' wills. I'm so disappointed because the Montessori program was a perfect fit for her personality, she needs order and the freedom to explore. Sorry this is so long - please let me know from your experiences what has and has not worked. I don't know what to do next.
