I suppose I'm not that curious about my kids' abilities unless there is some reason I need to act and advocate for them. By the time they are school age, I like the idea of comparing grade levels.
Oh I can really agree with that statement J! For us, it wasn't a problem...until it was a problem, if you know what I mean. I sent DD1 in somewhat blind, but when it was DS's turn, I knew pretty early on things weren't going to work with the lock-step plan.
But, see, I worry that because I thought DS6 was just MG before he started school, I missed opportunities with him--and that seems to be a common thread here! Many of us fear that we should have done more to nurture our kids' gifts earlier.
As of late K, DS6 wasn't achieving as much in math as he was in reading (only 1-2 grades above level for a 144 Broad Math score on the WJ). Well, I'm an English-y person, so I tended to pay more attention to his verbal skills. Did I hamper his development because I didn't see just how capable he was? I think I probably did.
He seems to be catching up, but that doesn't mean I didn't get in his way. Early ID is best for these kids. It just is, even if there's no formal schooling to advocate for yet. Informal schooling at home matters, too.
What's more, I should probably have been advocating with the schools much more strongly for my son from the beginning of preschool, certainly by K. But if a kid isn't IDd before school starts, how can a parent do that? DS6 was really languishing, but because he's not a troublemaker by nature, rather is a go-along kid, he got the short straw.
And just because my example was with a preschooler, that doesn't mean only preschoolers have "weird," not-strictly-academic interests. What about the 1st grader obsessed with philosophy? That's not taught in any school I knew of before college. How do you rate that kid in terms of grade-level? He's not thinking at a college-level yet, but he is thinking ABOUT something college-level, how do you rate that?
Or the kid who can do crazy calculations in his head, calculations that no one is going to ask him to do...ever! Not in any grade! I know a kid like this. I'd guess he's at least HG in math, but he had a hard time even being IDd for the GT program at school. Offbeat stuff like that is just not on anybody's radar, at least not around here.
Again, I'm not trying to be obnoxious or difficult. And maybe I'm asking for more than is possible. I know that. I just think the issue is a lot more complicated than we're making it seem here...
