I would like your opinion on the meeting we had with the school on Friday. I will let you know what they said and then my thoughts, any further thoughts would be appreciated. Sorry if this is a bit epic.

Meeting

We discussed his academic achievement and progress thus far. All of this was on target for year 3 and to them going well. Behaviour was the next to be discussed. Generally the behaviour he is displaying is not naughty, aggressive but general silliness, this is at times disrupting the other children. Their main concern is it is a CHANGE in behaviour, not the actual behaviour. They believe the change is because of a realization that he is different from the other children, in the way he thinks and that the behaviour is his way of trying to gain acceptance and also acting out his feelings. They have admitted there is no quick fix, they are not sure on how to resolve this problems but would like to implement the following strategies,
1. Attend the school social worker
2. Place more emphasis on attempts at academic things rather then expecting perfection
3. Reward chart
4. More interaction with adults
5. Support him and let him know he is safe and loved
6. Try not to change him but rather help him accept his difference.
7. For me not to make it visible that I am checking on him.
8. Only inform parents when the behaviour is bad enough to inform them or becomes problematic.
9. Role play behaviour and outcomes with him.

During the meeting they also questioned me on whether we discipline DS7 again if he has been in trouble at school, which we advised we do not double discipline him but do discuss with him what happened and why and if appropriate reinforce what
The school has said. They also advised me to make sure we express our love for DS7 in relation to other things about him
Not just academic performance, we advised of course we do. The maturity (immaturity) issue that the teacher had concerns about was nipped in the bud pretty early on in the piece.
They believe me checking on DS7 and how his day went with the teacher is putting pressure on him to behave and could be exacerbating the problem. They believe he is putting pressure on himself to do the right thing to impress me and this is building up and he can't maintain this all week and when it gets too much his silly behaviour gets worse. They are also concerned this behaviour will isolate him from other children and they are starting to see this happen. Sometimes the other children join in but most of the time inform the teacher of what he is doing.

Thoughts

They have obviously picked up there is a problem, I believe the above is part of the problem, I spoke with them
Regarding his overexcitabilities, which they acknowledged but I don't think fully appreciated. Boredom with the
Curriculum was dismissed. The last two days they have continued with the discipline they were using
Before and advised DS7 they would not be telling me that he has got in trouble. At least DS7 is
Talking to me about that, they were supposed to advise us via email of his bevaviour of which they have not done as yet but it is early days. I think they believe I am putting pressure on DS7 at home and that only
Express my love for him when he does well academically. The teacher admitted had I not been
Checking on DS7 regularly she would not have mentioned the behaviour unless it continued for another
Few weeks the only reason she went to the gifted co-ordinator was that she knew I was concerned, and
She thought the other children in the class were maturing and he was being left behind.
It was the gifted co-ordinator that asked for the meeting because some alarm bells went off.
I am now doubting dramatically my parenting skills, but believe although not perfect am doing ok.
They want me to put him in their hands and I feel they have less of a clue what they are doing or
Dealing with than me. I just don't trust them. I just want to help him with whatever is going on with him
But don't know where to start. Please help.


Being presented with what I was fearing that things are starting to come unstuck I need some
Help. If the school is picking up on a problem, blinded as they usually are it must be more
Obvious than I thought. Any advise would be greatly appreciated.