his teachers don't like to differentiate for gifted kids because they're overwhelmed by the needs of the kids at the other end of the spectrum
I doubt that every teacher feels this way. How brass of him to say that!
If homeschooling, charter schools, or switching schools, are not an option...I would suggest meeting with several of the teachers and see if you can find one who seems to be open to meeting the needs of your child.
When dealing with teachers & schools you need to be very careful with your choice of words.
Don't make them think that you already assume that they can't meet the needs of your child. This tends to make them defensive. You need to use the word "if" alot and avoid the word "gifted" for some reason that word is taboo at some schools. I think that the best time to approach the teacher about a plan to differentiate is after they have had a few weeks to get familiar with your child.
I wish you luck which ever way the road leads!
