Thanks Grinity - lots I want to respond to, and I'll do it out of order so as to end with the longest witters:
Is partial homeschooling an option?
Only in the sense that we're already doing it by supporting his interests outside school (helped by the fact that this is a no-homework school - that *really* helps, btw, as there is a substantial amount of time not eaten up by school). Can't homeschool in school hours; DH and I both work full-time, and in any case I've literally never heard of the concept of partial home-schooling in the UK (home-schooling of any kind is a much smaller minority here than in the US) and can't imagine the school would accept it.
If not, then I think that the challenge of being with older kids might be your 'least worst' option. My son is a 'summer birthday' plus single grade skipped, and although it isn't enough for his 'smart brain' it is more than enough for his 'dumb fingers' and so the combination is a pretty good 'least worst' option. Our son also is ND in the gross and fine motor, if not a bit behind! As far as the emotional maturity goes, I find that he tends to act like whoever he is with. Weirdly, there are activities that I would like to invite him to bring a friend, where I would be horrified to bring one of his age-mate friends, but happy to bring one of his classmates. I'm glad he has so many choices in the friendship department.
I had a feeling I remembered your son was similar in that respect, cognitively advanced but motor ND. Yes, DS also fits in which whoever he's with - I think socially he'd be fine with a skip, it's more that the social stuff isn't positively an incentive to do a skip.
You are exactly correct in your idea that ND motor skills will slow a child down quite a bit. And that further subject acceleration in Math and reading will probably be needed, but I want to encourage you to 'give it a try' if offered.
I think of it this way. A child doesn't need to struggle in every subject every year. So if the writing becomes a challenge, that uses up some of his 'challenge needs' and will make him more content in Math. If they offer the skip, I would take it, and remind them that if he still needs subject acceleration in Math and Reading, that you are going to still want it. One of the great things abut gradeskips is that the school becomes more 'aware' of your child in a good way, and more willing to 'think outside the box.' So it might be a way to 'open the door' to more individualized planning.
Hmm... I'm not sure what we'd do if the school actually offers a skip. Probably go with it, yes, since if they were offering it that would be a vote of confidence that he'd cope with the writing, and they know better than we do what the demands actually are.
I am still really hopeful that the school will see him as an individual from now on with or without a skip: we chose the school because they seem to be good at that kind of thing. We'll see now, of course...
A reason for being wary of it that I didn't mention (my original psot was getting too long) is that it would limit our options for the school after this. I know, act on what we see today: but the difference in future could be important. We are on the fence at the moment about whether he'll go to a boarding school for senior school (age 13-18) or to a local day school. If we're prepared to consider boarding schools (e.g.
Westminster,
Winchester), we'll have a
much better chance of him having those years surrounded by kindred spirits and teachers who get them and opportunities to take part in team challenges like the maths/science Olympiads etc. (I know, he's 5, I'm looking a long way ahead, but I feel I have a responsibility to.) However, we certainly wouldn't send him to board unless he was keen on the idea, and we think that's far more likely if he's being asked at the usual age, not unusually young, and we'd be unwilling to send him away much younger than his peers at the new school. So we could end up stuck between a suboptimal local school choice and having him repeat years at this school; both could easily be worse than the no-skip alternative, I think (no, he couldn't go on to senior school here and then switch to one of the boarding schools later, the system wouldn't work for it, will save space by not explaining!). I know, too many ifs. But I think the difference in his senior school experiences would be really significant, enough that it's worth thinking about.
My son found that Alex was great at locating new material to learn, and inspiring him to learn it, but that I had to do some teaching to get it in there. I guess I would suggest that they let him continue Alex at school with you teaching the new topics at home and him practicing during school hours. The big problem with elementary school mathmatics is that there is so little 'math' in it. Our 3rd grade is mostly about memorizing the times tables - which is an important skill, and wonderful for streaching the memorizing muscles - but not really math, in my book.
Absolutely!
They might be willing to start a recreational math club. Our school got one going in 5th grade, that our son was able to attend as a 4th grader. It totally made his week!
I think we will definitely ask about this, and suggest that they consider it if there isn't one. I do think it would really help C, and it would probably help many other children there too.
Don't give up. It's amazing how the little things can make a big difference.
Love and More Love,
Grinity
Thanks :-) I won't give up.
