Just an update:
I sent the letter, the principal called me right away. She said in the phone conversation that, of course, we will talk and see what can be done. She sounded very upbeat about making changes. She would like to see the Cogat (which DD did not do that well on last year!) which just came back but I haven't seen it yet and any tests that I have. We happen to be taking the WIAT or WJ a few days before the meeting for a possible DYS try, so if it is good I'll have more to show than the IQ test and grades/AR scores, etc.
For DD5 we are on the fence again, I think we'll try K and see what happens, although she just started reading at about a second grade level, so K might not last long. But, her friends are there so she wants to try.
I will give an update on DD9 after our meeting in a few weeks, thanks again, all.