Originally Posted by DrH
In general talking to teachers is about as useful as talking to paint chips.

Ouch! That's quite a generalization. And I do cringe when I see comparisons of 'people' to 'inanimate objects.'

But I do think that listening to teachers is a lot more useful than talking to them. Also one has to start with talking to a teacher before on goes up the chain to the next higher level. I think that my son got a lot from a wonderful 3rd grade teacher even in without the support of the school administration.

Of course, what each child needs varies quite a bit. If a child only needs a bit of enrichment, then talking to a teacher might help. A little bit of talking with lots of showing evidence of what the child loves to do and lots and lots of listening. Other children are going to need solutions that require coordination between rooms or even buildings, and then of course, after getting the teacher's opinion, and hopefully support, one has to go higher.

The main thing is to remember that for gifted kids, meeting their need for academic challenge IS a social and emotional issue, and not to let the schoolies make it an 'either/or' kind of situation. If one speaks in terms of the emotional needs of the child, then one might get a lot further rather than appealing to some outside standard or 'because it's decent.'

I also think that it's important to keep in mind that the schools are under no obligation to provide the kinds of modifications that you might want for your child. I've been in the situation where I was resptectful, polite, kind and unsuccessful at getting my son the accomidations he needed at a school. They thought I was great, and often said they wish that every child had a parent like me. They still didn't provide more than 20% of the change my son needed. This isn't really a negotiation - it's begging. And begging has a highly variable yield. Was I depressed and self-blaming? I was for a month or two. But in the end, we found ways to reverse my son's underachievement, at least for the most part. No, there will never be a perfect school situation, but there are school situations that are bad and should be changed.

Remember this one:
"...Grant me the the wisdom to know the difference."

The question of 'when is a school a good enough fit' is a great example of how much wisdom is required to 'know the difference.' Especially with many girls who often want to conform and please everyone around them.

But - the topic of this thread is 'how do I talk to the teachers' which to me means that the parents knows that something has to change, but still imagines that the depth of change is something that can be handled in a single classroom. I've been there and done that, and for a kid with scores like that WHO IS ACTIVELY COMPLAINING, is unlikely to have their problems fixed inside a single classroom. For 2/3 of gifted kids - talking to the teacher is a great idea, and listening even better. Asking a few respectful probing questions - better yet. Plus, there is much more a teacher can do with a few moderatly gifted kids clustered together doing a special project. Sometimes a PG kid gets lucky with her agemates and finds a kindred spirit right in her own classroom, but it's more rare. Less rare in certian neighborhoods, but still quite unusual.

Getting off soapbox now,
Grinity



Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com