Days like this, we say "Whatever chocolate cake!" We've told DS that sometimes, he just is so contrary that we could offer chocolate cake for breakfast and he'd refuse and argue. Now he usually laughs when we say it and realizes he's being absurd. But it's taken a while.

OHG's suggestion to tell him to go find it and look himself is very helpful. I've also found it helpful to be very direct. I wouldn't ever tell DS his hands were dirty. I tell him to please go wash them. If he begins to argue, I say "I didn't say they were dirty, I asked you to wash them" and then walk away.

We've done a LOT of training in proper arguing and logic. I found this magazine article a while back and it really points out essentially what we do in our house- http://wondertime.go.com/parent-to-parent/article/why-kids-should-talk-back.html

Sometimes, we just declare a "your way day" where DS gets to choose nearly everything. We have veto power for anything too expensive or dangerous. Yes... sometimes he does have sugar for breakfast, wear his jammies to the grocery store and play video games all day. Generally, when he's had his day, he's content for several weeks, sometimes months, to just be "all bossed around!"