Very glad to share our thought process, but it’s very much in line with Eagle Mum. I will quote her on a few things.

“Or the gifted kid doesn’t dumb him/herself down and works out how to be his/her true self amongst a range of other kids, which represents society at large.”

“I observed a colleague, now retired, who had exceptionally brilliant work-related insights and ideas, but was ineffectual at communicating his ideas to the majority because he simply couldn’t ‘get onto the same wavelength’ of the average person to adequately explain his thoughts to them.”

“Throughout my career, I have found it highly advantageous that I can calibrate my explanations to a wide range of individuals… I had a lot of practice with these skills at school when I was the ‘brainy geek’ that everyone came to for help…”

We believe high IQ is not necessarily beneficial without developing the EQ to interact with the general population, and we don’t think a gifted school represent the social environment of the general population. We think these social skills need to learned and developed from when they are very young.

With all the sub module scores in WISC-V testing, and with the help of psychologists like aeh and others, we get a good understanding of our children’s strength and weaknesses. Fortunately the WISC-V results tells us that both kids have very balanced profiles, so we decided to give the public school a shot. We are fortunate in that we live in a small and accommodative public school district with an education services director who understand the needs of gifted children.

We didn’t have a template with our older DYS1. The school district did what they could to accelerate him, eventually he ran out of classes so they gave him study periods to learn on his own. We have been told early on that with the profile of DYS1 he will likely excel in whatever he ends up passionate about. So for after school we focused on exposing him to as many different things as possible so he can hopefully find something that he is passionate about. It took a little bit of time to find his passion, and that ended up being in math and one individual competitive sport. He is now ~4 grades accelerated in math, and in the sport he is top 20% in the state. Doing all the math and sport requires quite a lot of time and effort after school, so we struck a deal with him to just have fun and socialize / relax during actual school. The common concern on gifted children going to normal school is under achievement and boredom leading to issues down the road. We just flipped it, actual school is the relaxing / fun part of the day for him, after school schedule in math and competitive sport is where he needs to work had and develop a work ethic / achievement. So far so good.

DYS2 has an even more balanced profile than DYS1. Every child is different, but given our experience with DYS1, we are going to give public school a shot. We plan on following the same strategy - in class differentiation to keep him somewhat engaged, after school enrichment that follows his lead in exploring lots of different areas. He is still very young but with our experience we feel like we know what to watch out for. The school district has already put together a team that specifically address the social issues, along the lines recommended by aeh above. We actually met with the counselor a few days ago and she shared an example with us. DYS2 was frustrated that another kid in his group took a long time to solve a math problem and said some very mean things that made the other kid cry. The counselor intervened and explained to him why it’s inappropriate to say these things, then suggested that he explain to the other kid how to solve the problem. So he did, and they made up. This is exactly the kind of social skills that we want our children to learn in a public school setting. In a gifted school, yeah maybe he wouldn’t run into the situation that frustrates him because the other kids are at the same level… but we think he should be exposed to and learn how to deal with these frustrations from a very young age. The cohort in a gifted school is not the real world, it’s a bubble in our opinion.

Edited by galun (04/27/22 11:07 AM)