No amount of socializing with non-gifted kids or learning to dumb himself down to fit in is going to change his exceptionality.
Or the gifted kid doesn’t dumb him/herself down and works out how to be his/her true self amongst a range of other kids, which represents society at large. DS has always attended mainstream schools where his personable, welcoming approach to everyone has actually made him a natural leader (his athleticism probably does contribute). He honestly doesn’t care if he’s liked or popular, but he’s very inventive and gets so enthused about his interests (origami, speedcubing, chess, ball games, music) that he draws in other kids and unintentionally creates hubs where kids can simply share common interests without forming any formal group structure or social hierarchy because he is leading but doesn’t even think of himself as being the leader and treats everyone equally. This benefits a lot of lonely kids because whomever he welcomes, which is pretty much anybody, is comfortable being in the group.
I observed a colleague, now retired, who had exceptionally brilliant work-related insights and ideas, but was ineffectual at communicating his ideas to the majority because he simply couldn’t ‘get onto the same wavelength’ of the average person to adequately explain his thoughts to them. His ideas would never have benefited anyone if a couple of colleagues and I hadn’t been able to recognise the advantages of his suggestions and carry them across to others, giving credit to the originator.
Throughout my career, I have found it highly advantageous that I can calibrate my explanations to a wide range of individuals. We’re more likely to get collaborative work completed to a satisfactorily high standard if everyone performs their role to the best of their ability & understanding of what’s required and personally I’ve found it very rewarding when junior colleagues have that ‘Ah ha!’ moment of clear understanding because I’ve taken the time and effort to address whatever query they’ve brought. I had a lot of practice with these skills at school when I was the ‘brainy geek’ that everyone came to for help, so whilst my own school experience was a bit lonely (largely to do with my family dynamics which I won’t get into here), I’m so glad that I always helped anyone who approached me. Now, my kids get to experience the best of all worlds because they are well resourced and given the freedom to steer their own paths.
