@Indigo: wonderful answer, thanks a lot!

Btw, I am impressed and thankful for the depth of vocabulary I am being confronted with here wink.

"Especially if pointed out by a child for whom the sacrifice was made, as it may sound as though the child is judging the parent as less-than for not being able to do it all, or is ungrateful... either of which may suggest the parent made the wrong choice, thereby adding insult to injury."

Thanks for this very valid point.

I also tend to have thoughts like "he would have been a better father if he had felt more fulfilled as a person". Your comments help me to understand that, even if I might be right, it is absolutely not something that I should expose to him, directly or subliminally. He did the best he could with what he had, I am quite certain of that.

For the rest:

My dad was indeed rather young (25) - for today's standards, when he had his first child.
I have had and still have more opportunities for self-actualization and self-development than he has had - also thanks to him.
In a way, I sense some unfairness or inequity in him providing me with opportunities that he didn't get.
But that probably is how life works, and one of the main purposes we have - providing future generations with better means of living, or prevent deterioriation.
I can make him proud if I manage to turn all that he gave to me into a good life, and I will have plenty of opportunities and ways to give back.

@Platypus: thanks for sharing the blog with me, it is very interesting smile


Edited by raphael (09/03/20 03:38 AM)