Hi everyone,
and thanks a lot for the answers, a lot of interesting insights here.

I am definitely moving forward, but still panicking a bit.
I cry a lot and still feel rather desperate. I get stuck with the practical details of how to move on.

1. I am still torn and undecisive concerning completing the ms in psychology. I was hoping to get inspired by a research scientist who is doing research on the applications of machine learning algorithms in psychological research. However he says he has no capacity (also because of covid). Other professors do not answer my emails.

2. My plan for getting bionformatics, for now, would be to somehow start working as a data scientist (if I get to complete the psychology MS one day), make some money, then do a part-time MS while still working. However, I already have some student debt to pay back (7.000 €). A master in bionformatics (online) costs 44.000 € (at John Hopkins) - here in Berlin you need the BS in bioinformatics to get in, which I do not have. So I would need to work at least a few months before I would be able to start studying, and after that it would still take two years. All in all, probably 3 years until I am finished, which makes me 29 when I finish the masters, and 32 if I do the PhD (as for now I believe that I would like to get into research). Kind of a bummer for someone who finished school at 16.


[And If I want to work as a data scientist, I need to study some math first, possibly do an internship before I get a job which could make the whole process even longer].

I am not sure how to approach the whole situation. I have trouble prioritizing what I want to do first.

What seems to be the most important thing to do to you outside observers?
- find a thesis subject? but then how? do some ML project/coding on my own in order to get started and inspired? I definitely feel like self teaching the stuff, but it would take at least some weeks if not months before I get a grasp on algebra, calculus, coding...? settle with something that bores me, but just somehow getting the job done? (I have been pretty bad at this until now - I am very picky about wanting to do something "special" as you can imagine)

- forget about bioinformatics? I do have my reasons for this field (as I am interested in ML/big data stuff, I think this is one the fields with most promising applications that I have decent chances of getting into) but thinking now about something that I could start only in a year or so makes me go nuts.

Maybe you have some quick advice for me.

Thanks,

Raphael