Hi, I'm 20 years old. Someone recently told me that I write like a middle schooler, but I find that as an insult. It could be true. Oh well.

I was never in a gifted and talented program in elementary to high school, and I'm still overly bitter about it. What are the chances that a person who was salutatorian of his high school class was never in a gifted and talented program while there were many others with ranks in the 50s-100s who were? I've been obsessively thinking about this for many years, and I don't know what to do with my life anymore. I've been getting bad grades in college for the first two quarters and I withdrew in the third quarter my freshman year. I want to become a Putnam Fellow, but I don't have even 1% skill of an experienced IMO participant.