Welcome.
You've already received a great response above.
I applaud your efforts to learn more about yourself, and this forum is a great place to reach out.
While no one will critique your grammar here, if you don't mind a suggestion, it may helpful to place a little white space, a blank line, every once in a while. Maybe every 8 lines or so... it just makes your post easier to read.
Identification of gifted is not always easy or clear-cut. Especially early on. If you are interested in reading lists of early behavior characteristics and milestones, and comparing them with your own development, these links may be helpful:
-
Characteristics of intellectually advanced young people-
Parenting Gifted Preschoolers- NAGC's
list borrowed from the book
A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children((The first item on the NAGC list of Common Characteristics of Gifted Individuals is: Unusual alertness, even in infancy)).
-
Characteristics and Behaviors of the Gifted-
Characteristics checklist for gifted children-
Tips for Parents: Helping Parents Understand Their Profoundly Gifted Children-
Profiles of the gifted and talented which lists 6 different types, categorized by personality/temperament and achievement
-
Bertie Kingore, Ph.D.: High Achieving, Gifted Learner, Creative Thinker? (hat tip to sanne)- A common trait in gifted children, often listed amongst identifying characteristics, is alternately described as: "
advanced moral reasoning", "
well developed sense of justice", "
moral sensitivity", "
advanced ability to think about such abstract ideas as justice and fairness", "
empathy", "
compassion". Links to lists of gifted characteristics include several articles on the Davidson Database
here and
here,
SENG (Silverman),
SENG (Lovecky).
- ages at which gifted children may reach developmental
milestones - thread about
Early Milestones - what do they mean?- SENG
video: The Misdiagnosis of Gifted Children
- book:
Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults-
old post with link to
article comparing gifted characteristics and ASD characteristics
-
post with checklist comparing gifted and ASD traits
(hat tip to BananaGirl)-
post with link to Gifted Resource Center of New England (GRCNE) article comparing gifted and ASD traits
(hat tip to Nolepharm).
Sorry to hear of your existential angst a decade or so ago, when you were a kindergartner. Does it help to know that over the years several parents have mentioned their kids' existential angst and concerns about death? I hope you talked to your parents about your concerns. I hope they encouraged you that for most children, parents live long enough for kiddos to develop strong friendships and support systems, find validation and affirmation in their daily lives, enjoy the challenges of working toward their goals and celebrating their accomplishments. There is much to enjoy, and look forward to.
Sorry to hear about your classroom behavior as a hellion, throwing chairs, and being nasty. As you know, it's not OK to act out... it's not safe for yourself or others. As you know, a better approach is to take the time to find words to describe the difficulties and disappointments and work toward solutions.
You mentioned IQ test results. The results are often not one number, but a range of numbers, each representing the strength of a specific skill related to a part of the brain. The brain is considered malleable or plastic in that after damage, often other parts of the brain can learn to compensate. Somewhat similar, various parts of the brain can be naturally stronger or weaker... a person may be gifted and also have a learning difference or learning disability; a person may be twice exceptional. Some links which may be of interest, as you are in high school and may begin self-advocacy with regard to your education:
-
wrightslaw-
understood.org-
2e newsletter
