I'm so sorry you've had to hear from people denying your personal experiences. Perceptions may differ about many things, but only you can speak for your own pain.
I would encourage you, though, to disengage from back-and-forths with those who demonstrate clearly that their interest is not in understanding either your personal experience or perspectives different from their own. As you so accurately note, the objective, conscious or not, quite often is to get an emotional reaction from you--which feeds an emotional need of their own--rather than a thoughtful discussion about significant ideas and societal situations.
You cannot choose how they respond to their own emotional and mental health needs, but you can choose to make healthy choices for yourself.
All the best.
