I'm sorry this happened to you.

It sounds like the person may have been speaking from a blame-the-victim viewpoint, possibly even discrediting you with ad hominem attacks rather than admitting that the system is flawed and could be improved. Long ago I read somewhere that a blame-the-victim viewpoint may come from a sense of wanting to believe that one's self was safe from whatever difficulty was being discussed; by ignoring the similarities between one's self and those who had suffered the malady or injustice... and focusing on any differences between one's self and the victim(s)... people may begin to rationalize that due to their differences, they are somehow safe from encountering the same or similar negative experience.

The late Dr. James T. Webb, Ph.D. (founder of SENG and Great Potential Press, author, and speaker) once gave a bit of advice to parents, what NOT to do, and what TO do... along these lines... paraphrased...

Do not state that something is your own personal experience, or a specific child's experience... this puts you and/or the child on the line, makes you and/or them vulnerable, and may be invasive of your/their privacy. It can make you and your loved ones targets. It can come back to haunt you.

To help others, share in a manner which is supportive, validates them, lets them know they are not alone in their observation and experience, do say something prefaced with phrases such as:
- I'm familiar with...
- I've known someone who...
- I've known others who...
- I've known several people who...
- In my observation and experience...
- I've heard...

To share tips and/or advice, you might try phrasing along the lines of:
- I've heard of success by approaching similar circumstances in this way...
- Have you thought of...?
- Have you looked into...?
- Have you tried...?
- This may be of interest...
- I've read about this online... possibly mention some search terms leading to trusted sites such as Davidson Institute for Talent Development, Hoagies Gifted Education Page, NAGC, etc

These are not exhaustive lists, but illustrate the principle that there are a variety of ways of wording things which can share a relevant experience while making statements less personal... and thereby keep yourself and loved ones out of the line of potential fire; if so inclined, people can pushback against ideas, rather than specific persons.

Hope this helps, going forward!
smile