I should add for context....

My wife has taught public school for 37 years, more than half of that as a GT specialist in 7-12th grade. She sees a lot of her students well past their HS years as they've come to weigh her opinion and guidance very highly. She tells me that when students who have never had anything lower than an A finally get a grade lower, the reaction is usually (certainly not always) one of two reactions, either they're devastated, beside themselves (which you want to be around for as a parent) or they sob in relief because they no longer feel the pressure of needing to be perfect, whether that's a self expectation or one imposed on them by others. Perfectionism is a wicked mistress as we've often discussed on this forum.
In either case, as a parent, that's something you want to be around for to coach them through the first time.

I can tell you as well I have witnessed usually numerous GT students each year who after their Freshman year in college drop out because they feel like they were hit like an axe between the eyes with rigor and didn't know how to handle it. Better to stretch and struggle now and TALK about it. Help your child understand that academic struggle is when we learn the most and it's a part of the learning process, not to fear it but to embrace it understanding this is when big gains are made and to face it with tenacity and courage.

On the other side of the coin, I mentioned unhealthy stress rather than struggle or stretch. Be aware of signs of unhealthy stress. Pushing a child too far can be deadly. There is a reason that the height of suicide in China is right after college testing. Over emphasis on grades and test scores is a good example of unhealthy stress that can lead to dire consequences.

I've also been blessed to know quite a few students from other countries. One of their biggest compliments about education in the U.S. is that we allow students to make mistakes, even fail a class, learn from it, and give it another go. My eldest son said that about half of the people in his class that majored in Physics retook at least one class at his University. This is another important thing for young people to understand. A bad grade, even a whole bad year can be overcome.


Last edited by Old Dad; 11/25/19 01:43 PM.