When he said he "can't do it" by himself, have you looked deeper to see if there is some gap or 2E that is making him act out like this? Gifted kids are able to compensate for a while - until they can't. I see a lot here where parents are finding out that "won't" situations turned out to be really "can't"... I am hoping those who have run into this may have some insights on that issue.

I would suggest too maybe looking up some of HowlerKarma's posts since she does have a lot of great insights with her experiences - here is one:
http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/ubbthreads.php/topics/230101/1.html